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utual trust will not be far away。
点评:
这篇文章首段先描述图画,第二段开头做了一个关键性的工作——确定本文章的主题。这个主题是由图画所决定的,也是根据提纲展开文章的基础。然后分三点来说明该问题的原因。第三段分两点来说明解决问题的办法。
心得:
文章没有第四段,这主要是由于第三段的最后一句带有结论性,是个非常成功的句子,亦可以写成:
When every one of us participates in this campaign; the dream of the restoration of mutual trust will be realized in the near future。
Directions 14
Study the following picture carefully and write an essay in which you should:
1。 describe the picture;
2。 point out the reasons for this phenomenon;and
3。 suggest possible solutions。
You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2。
审题:
我们看了图画与提纲之后,对于这种文章的结构已经非常熟悉了。文章分为四段来写,描述图画——说明原因——提出解决办法——下结论。
Sample:
In the above picture; a student has got 68 in an examination; but he asks the teacher to give him 80; for he wants to get the title of an excellent student。 Looking at the picture; we can’t help thinking of the more and more serious phenomenon of students’ going to the teacher directly for higher grades。
Schools are places where students learn knowledge and acquire skills; but some students never devote themselves to such an arduous yet enjoyable process。 When the examination season arrives; they are busy searching for various methods to get satisfactory grades。 Some stay up late to memorize as much knowledge as possible。 Some even cheat in examinations in order to win ideal marks。 Others go directly to the teachers; begging them to let them pass。 In extreme cases; some students tell the teachers directly that they need a certain mark for a certain purpose。
Such practices deprive national education of fairness and dignity。 To prevent them from spreading; teachers should first of all take on their responsibilities。 They should reject such students firmly and directly。 If the students continue disturbing them with their unreasonable requests; the teachers should report to the school authorities。 On this occasion; the school authorities should severely punish these students and those who help them in the efforts。
If young students are used to achieving personal goals through unjust methods; when can we stop worrying about their future?
点评:
文章的第一段,由于一句话就描述了图表,所以第二句话可以对这个现象进行小结。而最后一段是总结性的段落,这一段只有一句话,采用了条件状语从句加反问句的模式,给人留下了非常深刻的印象。此段话还将第一段第二句话的小结做了进一步提炼,总结是“以不正当的方法来达到个人目的”,相当准确。
原因段落和办法段落均没有采用最常见的分两点或三点来说的方法。第二段写原因,前两句描述一些学生不好好学习,一到考试的时候就找各种各样的方法来得到满意的分数。而后采用排比句分成几类学生来写。最后一句话是聚焦第三类学生,进一步来说明——在某些极端的情况下,有些学生直接告诉老师自己需要多少分,以达到某个目的。
第三段首句一针见血地点出了这种做法的危害。而后将重点落在教师身上,具体讲教师该怎么做。之后补充写了校方的正确做法。
心得:
首先对于图画的小结(总结出寓意或主题)可以放在第一段后面或第二段开头。
原因段落和办法段落均可以不采用传统的分类法,而采用层层递进的方法来写。
最后一段使用了由条件状语从句和疑问句构成的经典复合句做结,还要给人留下了深刻的印象。
Directions15
Study the following picture carefully and write an essay in which you should:
1。 describe the picture;
2。 give your ment;
3。 suggest possible solutions。
You should write 160~200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2。
审题:
这篇文章的结构与我们前面所学的稍有不同,主要是第二个段落,这个段落不是要求写原因,而是要给出自己的评论。对于本文来说,就是对算命这一事件给出自己的看法。
Sample:
In the above picture; a student goes to a fortune teller to ask whether she will succeed or not in the ing College Entrance Examination。 It is obvious that the drawer wishes all of us to ponder over this social phenomenon; which is being more and more mon nowadays。
I myself see no point in going to a fortune teller。 First; life is always full of accidents and coincidences; and how can the fortune teller know a person’s life route exactly? Second; if we knew our fortune and believed it; we would only wait for it to happen—when life is deprived of challenges and surprises; is it still worth living?
To eliminate fortune tellers we have to persuade people not to go to them any longer。 To begin with; we should explain why fortune telling is unreliable; and why finding a forture teller is a waste of time and energy。 What’s more important; we should help people understand that everyone is the architect of his own future—only through diligence and persistence can he realize his dreams。
The meaning of life lies largely in the process of struggle and endurance。 We have to improve our education to help young people fight for their ideals so as to forget fortune telling。
点评:
该文共分为四段来写作。第一段分为两句,第一句对图画进行描述——可以用直接引语,也可以用间接引语,其中直接引语更为常见。而后一句是承上启下的过渡句。
第二段首句表达了对该现象否定的态度,而后分为两个方面来说,各有一句话。第一句话是个并列句,后半部分使用了反问句。第二句话很复杂,前面是条件状语从句,使用了虚拟语气描述了与现实相反的情形,而后创造性地使用了破折号表示递进,而后是时间状语从句加上反问句,效果非常强烈——当人生失去了挑战和惊奇,它还值得活吗?
第三段提出了消除这一现象的办法,分为两个方面。
最后一段下结论,分两句话。第一句话说明了一条永恒的真理——生命的意义很大程度上在于奋斗和忍耐的过程,第二句话引到本文主题上——只有我们提高教育帮助年轻人为自己的理想而奋斗才能使他们忘记算命。
心得:
我们发现在范文中句子的复杂程度较高,包含了较多的并列句和复合句,即使是简单句,有的也很复杂。下面以第三段为例来说明。该段第二句是个并列句,句中有两个由疑问词why引导的宾语从句。第三句前半部分的宾语从句中是一句颇具哲理的谚语,后面使用了破折号,之后是个only引导的倒装句。