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stream？ Assuredly； pleasant enough： but whether healthy or not is
another question。
That forest…dell； where Lowood lay； was the cradle of fog and
fog…bred pestilence； which； quickening with the quickening spring；
crept into the Orphan Asylum； breathed typhus through its crowded
schoolroom and dormitory； and； ere May arrived； transformed the
seminary into an hospital。
Semi…starvation and neglected colds had predisposed most of the
pupils to receive infection： forty…five out of the eighty girls lay
ill at one time。 Classes were broken up； rules relaxed。 The few who
continued well were allowed almost unlimited license； because the
medical attendant insisted on the necessity of frequent exercise to
keep them in health： and had it been otherwise； no one had leisure
to watch or restrain them。 Miss Temple's whole attention was
absorbed by the patients： she lived in the sick…room； never quitting
it except to snatch a few hours' rest at night。 The teachers were
fully occupied with packing up and making other necessary preparations
for the departure of those girls who were fortunate enough to have
friends and relations able and willing to remove them from the seat of
contagion。 Many； already smitten； went home only to die： some died
at the school； and were buried quietly and quickly； the nature of
the malady forbidding delay。
While disease had thus become an inhabitant of Lowood； and death
its frequent visitor； while there was gloom and fear within its walls；
while its rooms and passages steamed with hospital smells； the drug
and the pastille striving vainly to overcome the effluvia of
mortality； that bright May shone unclouded over the bold hills and
beautiful woodland out of doors。 Its garden； too； glowed with flowers：
hollyhocks had sprung up tall as trees； lilies had opened； tulips
and roses were in bloom； the borders of the little beds were gay
with pink thrift and crimson double daisies； the sweetbriars gave out；
morning and evening； their scent of spice and apples； and these
fragrant treasures were all useless for most of the inmates of Lowood；
except to furnish now and then a handful of herbs and blossoms to
put in a coffin。
But I； and the rest who continued well； enjoyed fully the
beauties of the scene and season； they let us ramble in the wood； like
gipsies； from morning till night； we did what we liked； went where
we liked： we lived better too。 Mr。 Brocklehurst and his family never
came near Lowood now： household matters were not scrutinised into； the
cross housekeeper was gone； driven away by the fear of infection；
her successor； who had been matron at the Lowton Dispensary； unused to
the ways of her new abode； provided with comparative liberality。
Besides； there were fewer to feed； the sick could eat little； our
breakfast…basins were better filled； when there was no time to prepare
a regular dinner； which often happened； she would give us a large
piece of cold pie； or a thick slice of bread and cheese； and this we
carried away with us to the wood； where we each chose the spot we
liked best； and dined sumptuously。
My favourite seat was a smooth and broad stone； rising white and
dry from the very middle of the beck； and only to be got at by
wading through the water； a feat I accomplished barefoot。 The stone
was just broad enough to accommodate； comfortably； another girl and
me； at that time my chosen comrade… one Mary Ann Wilson； a shrewd；
observant personage； whose society I took pleasure in； partly
because she was witty and original； and partly because she had a
manner which set me at my ease。 Some years older than I； she knew more
of the world； and could tell me many things I liked to hear： with
her my curiosity found gratification： to my faults also she gave ample
indulgence； never imposing curb or rein on anything I said。 She had
a turn for narrative； I for analysis； she liked to inform； I to
question； so we got on swimmingly together； deriving much
entertainment； if not much improvement； from our mutual intercourse。
And where； meantime； was Helen Burns？ Why did I not spend these
sweet days of liberty with her？ Had I forgotten her？ or was I so
worthless as to have grown tired of her pure society？ Surely the
Mary Ann Wilson I have mentioned was inferior to my first
acquaintance： she could only tell me amusing stories； and
reciprocate any racy and pungent gossip I chose to indulge in；
while； if I have spoken truth of Helen； she was qualified to give
those who enjoyed the privilege of her converse a taste of far
higher things。
True； reader； and I knew and felt this： and though I am a defective
being； with many faults and few redeeming points； yet I never tired of
Helen Burns； nor ever ceased to cherish for her a sentiment of
attachment； as strong； tender； and respectful as any that ever
animated my heart。 How could it be otherwise； when Helen； at all times
and under all circumstances； evinced for me a quiet and faithful
friendship； which ill…humour never soured； nor irritation never
troubled？ But Helen was ill at present： for some weeks she had been
removed from my sight to I knew not what room upstairs。 She was not； I
was told； in the hospital portion of the house with the fever
patients； for her complaint was consumption； not typhus： and by
consumption I； in my ignorance； understood something mild； which
time and care would be sure to alleviate。
I was confirmed in this idea by the fact of her once or twice
coming downstairs on very warm sunny afternoons； and being taken by
Miss Temple into the garden； but； on these occasions； I was not
allowed to go and speak to her； I only saw her from the schoolroom
window； and then not distinctly； for she was much wrapped up； and
sat at a distance under the verandah。
One evening； in the beginning of June； I had stayed out very late
with Mary Ann in the wood； we had； as usual； separated ourselves
from the others； and had wandered far； so far that we lost our way；
and had to ask it at a lonely cottage； where a man and woman lived；
who looked after a herd of half…wild swine that fed on the mast in the
wood。 When we got back； it was after moonrise： a pony； which we knew
to be the surgeon's； was standing at the garden door。 Mary Ann
remarked that she supposed some one must be very ill； as Mr。 Bates had
been sent for at that time of the evening。 She went into the house；
I stayed behind a few minutes to plant in my garden a handful of roots
I had dug up in the forest； and which I feared would wither if I
left them till the morning。 This done； I lingered yet a little longer：
the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew fell； it was such a pleasant
evening； so serene； so warm； the still glowing west promised so fairly
another fine day on the morrow； the moon rose with such majesty in the
grave east。 I was noting these things and enjoying them as a child
might； when it entered my mind as it had never done before：…
'How sad to be lying now on a sick bed； and to be in danger of
dying！ This world is pleasant… it would be dreary to be called from
it； and to have to go who knows where？'
And then my mind made its first earnest effort to comprehend what
had been infused into it concerning heaven and hell； and for the first
time it recoiled； baffled； and for the first time glancing behind；
on each side； and before it； it saw all round an unfathomed gulf： it
felt the one point where it stood… the present； all the rest was
formless cloud and vacant depth； and it shuddered at the thought of
tottering； and plunging amid that chaos。 While pondering this new
idea； I heard the front door open； Mr。 Bates came out； and with him
was a nurse。 After she had seen him mount his horse and depart； she
was about to close the door； but I ran up to her。
'How is Helen Burns？'
'Very poorly；' was the answer。
'Is it her Mr。 Bates has been to see？'
'Yes。'
'And what does he say about her？'
'He says she'll not be here long。'
This phrase； uttered in my hearing yesterday； would have only
conveyed the notion that she was about to be removed to
Northumberland； to her own home。 I should not have suspected that it
meant she was dying； but I knew instantly now！ It opened clear on my
comprehension that Helen Burns was numbering her last days in this
world； and that she was going to be taken to the region of spirits； if
such region there were。 I experienced a shock of horror； then a strong
thrill of grief； then a desire… a necessity to see her； and I asked in
what room she lay。
'She is in Miss Temple's room；' said the nurse。
'May I go up and speak to her？'
'Oh no； child！ It is not likely； and now it is time for you to come
in； you'll catch the fever if you stop out when the dew is falling。'
The nurse closed the front door； I went in by the side entrance
which led to the schoolroom： I was just in time； it was nine
o'clock； and Miss Miller was calling the pupils to go to bed。
It might be two hours later； probably near eleven； when I… not
having been able to fall asleep； and deeming； from the perfect silence