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to beg; and not to live here with gentlemen's children like us; and
eat the same meals we do; and wear clothes at our mama's expense。 Now;
I'll teach you to rummage my bookshelves: for they are mine; all the
house belongs to me; or will do in a few years。 Go and stand by the
door; out of the way of the mirror and the windows。'
I did so; not at first aware what was his intention; but when I saw
him lift and poise the book and stand in act to hurl it; I
instinctively started aside with a cry of alarm: not soon enough;
however; the volume was flung; it hit me; and I fell; striking my head
against the door and cutting it。 The cut bled; the pain was sharp:
my terror had passed its climax; other feelings succeeded。
'Wicked and cruel boy!' I said。 'You are like a murderer… you are
like a slave…driver… you are like the Roman emperors!'
I had read Goldsmith's History of Rome; and had formed my opinion
of Nero; Caligula; etc。 Also I had drawn parallels in silence; which I
never thought thus to have declared aloud。
'What! what!' he cried。 'Did she say that to me? Did you hear
her; Eliza and Georgiana? Won't I tell mama? but first…'
He ran headlong at me: I felt him grasp my hair and my shoulder: he
had closed with a desperate thing。 I really saw in him a tyrant; a
murderer。 I felt a drop or two of blood from my head trickle down my
neck; and was sensible of somewhat pungent suffering: these sensations
for the time predominated over fear; and I received him in frantic
sort。 I don't very well know what I did with my hands; but he called
me 'Rat! Rat!' and bellowed out aloud。 Aid was near him: Eliza and
Georgiana had run for Mrs。 Reed; who was gone upstairs: she now came
upon the scene; followed by Bessie and her maid Abbot。 We were parted:
I heard the words…
'Dear! dear! What a fury to fly at Master John!'
'Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion!'
Then Mrs。 Reed subjoined…
'Take her away to the red…room; and lock her in there。' Four
hands were immediately laid upon me; and I was borne upstairs。
CHAPTER II
I RESISTED all the way: a new thing for me; and a circumstance
which greatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot
were disposed to entertain of me。 The fact is; I was a trifle beside
myself; or rather out of myself; as the French would say: I was
conscious that a moment's mutiny had already rendered me liable to
strange penalties; and; like any other rebel slave; I felt resolved;
in my desperation; to go all lengths。
'Hold her arms; Miss Abbot: she's like a mad cat。'
'For shame! for shame!' cried the lady's…maid。 'What shocking
conduct; Miss Eyre; to strike a young gentleman; your benefactress's
son! Your young master。'
'Master! How is he my master? Am I a servant?'
'No; you are less than a servant; for you do nothing for your keep。
There; sit down; and think over your wickedness。'
They had got me by this time into the apartment indicated by Mrs。
Reed; and had thrust me upon a stool: my impulse was to rise from it
like a spring; their two pair of hands arrested me instantly。
'If you don't sit still; you must be tied down;' said Bessie。 'Miss
Abbot; lend me your garters; she would break mine directly。'
Miss Abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary
ligature。 This preparation for bonds; and the additional ignominy it
inferred; took a little of the excitement out of me。
'Don't take them off;' I cried; 'I will not stir。'
In guarantee whereof; I attached myself to my seat by my hands。
'Mind you don't;' said Bessie; and when she had ascertained that
I was really subsiding; she loosened her hold of me; then she and Miss
Abbot stood with folded arms; looking darkly and doubtfully on my
face; as incredulous of my sanity。
'She never did so before;' at last said Bessie; turning to the
Abigail。
'But it was always in her;' was the reply。 'I've told Missis
often my opinion about the child; and Missis agreed with me。 She's
an underhand little thing: I never saw a girl of her age with so
much cover。'
Bessie answered not; but ere long; addressing me; she said…
'You ought to be aware; Miss; that you are under obligations to
Mrs。 Reed: she keeps you: if she were to turn you off; you would
have to go to the poorhouse。'
I had nothing to say to these words: they were not new to me: my
very first recollections of existence included hints of the same kind。
This reproach of my dependence had become a vague sing…song in my ear:
very painful and crushing; but only half intelligible。 Miss Abbot
joined in…
'And you ought not to think yourself on an equality with the Misses
Reed and Master Reed; because Missis kindly allows you to be brought
up with them。 They will have a great deal of money; and you will
have none: it is your place to be humble; and to try to make
yourself agreeable to them。'
'What we tell you is for your good;' added Bessie; in no harsh
voice; 'you should try to be useful and pleasant; then; perhaps; you
would have a home here; but if you become passionate and rude;
Missis will send you away; I am sure。'
'Besides;' said Miss Abbot; 'God will punish her: He might strike
her dead in the midst of her tantrums; and then where would she go?
Come; Bessie; we will leave her: I wouldn't have her heart for
anything。 Say your prayers; Miss Eyre; when you are by yourself; for
if you don't repent; something bad might be permitted to come down the
chimney and fetch you away。'
They went; shutting the door; and locking it behind them。
The red…room was a square chamber; very seldom slept in; I might
say never; indeed; unless when a chance influx of visitors at
Gateshead Hall rendered it necessary to turn to account all the
accommodation it contained: yet it was one of the largest and
stateliest chambers in the mansion。 A bed supported on massive pillars
of mahogany; hung with curtains of deep red damask; stood out like a
tabernacle in the centre; the two large windows; with their blinds
always drawn down; were half shrouded in festoons and falls of similar
drapery; the carpet was red; the table at the foot of the bed was
covered with a crimson cloth; the walls were a soft fawn colour with a
blush of pink in it; the wardrobe; the toilet…table; the chairs were
of darkly polished old mahogany。 Out of these deep surrounding
shades rose high; and glared white; the piled…up mattresses and
pillows of the bed; spread with a snowy Marseilles counterpane。
Scarcely less prominent was an ample cushioned easy…chair near the
head of the bed; also white; with a footstool before it; and
looking; as I thought; like a pale throne。
This room was chill; because it seldom had a fire; it was silent;
because remote from the nursery and kitchen; solemn; because it was
known to be so seldom entered。 The housemaid alone came here on
Saturdays; to wipe from the mirrors and the furniture a week's quiet
dust: and Mrs。 Reed herself; at far intervals; visited it to review
the contents of a certain secret drawer in the wardrobe; where were
stored divers parchments; her jewel…casket; and a miniature of her
deceased husband; and in those last words lies the secret of the
red…room… the spell which kept it so lonely in spite of its grandeur。
Mr。 Reed had been dead nine years: it was in this chamber he
breathed his last; here he lay in state; hence his coffin was borne by
the undertaker's men; and; since that day; a sense of dreary
consecration had guarded it from frequent intrusion。
My seat; to which Bessie and the bitter Miss Abbot had left me
riveted; was a low ottoman near the marble chimney…piece; the bed rose
before me; to my right hand there was the high; dark wardrobe; with
subdued; broken reflections varying the gloss of its panels; to my
left were the muffled windows; a great looking…glass between them
repeated the vacant majesty of the bed and room。 I was not quite
sure whether they had locked the door; and when I dared move; I got up
and went to see。 Alas! yes: no jail was ever more secure。 Returning; I
had to cross before the looking…glass; my fascinated glance
involuntarily explored the depth it revealed。 All looked colder and
darker in that visionary hollow than in reality: and the strange
little figure there gazing at me; with a white face and arms
specking the gloom; and glittering eyes of fear moving where all
else was still; had the effect of a real spirit: I thought it like one
of the tiny phantoms; half fairy; half imp; Bessie's evening stories
represented as coming out of lone; ferny dells in moors; and appearing
before the eyes of belated travellers。 I returned to my stool。
Superstition was with me at that moment; but it was not yet her
hour for complete victory: my blood was still warm; the mood of the
revolted slave was still bracing me with its bitter vigour; I had to
stem a rapid rush of retrospective thought before I quailed to the
dismal present。
All John Reed's violent tyrannies; all his sisters' proud
indifference; all his mother'