按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
having been able to fall asleep； and deeming； from the perfect silence
of the dormitory； that my companions were all wrapt in profound
repose… rose softly； put on my frock over my night…dress； and； without
shoes； crept from the apartment； and set off in quest of Miss Temple's
room。 It was quite at the other end of the house； but I knew my way；
and the light of the unclouded summer moon； entering here and there at
passage windows； enabled me to find it without difficulty。 An odour of
camphor and burnt vinegar warned me when I came near the fever room：
and I passed its door quickly； fearful lest the nurse who sat up all
night should hear me。 I dreaded being discovered and sent back； for
I must see Helen；… I must embrace her before she died；… I must give
her one last kiss； exchange with her one last word。
Having descended a staircase； traversed a portion of the house
below； and succeeded in opening and shutting； without noise； two
doors； I reached another flight of steps； these I mounted； and then
just opposite to me was Miss Temple's room。 A light shone through
the keyhole and from under the door； a profound stillness pervaded the
vicinity。 Coming near； I found the door slightly ajar； probably to
admit some fresh air into the close abode of sickness。 Indisposed to
hesitate； and full of impatient impulses… soul and senses quivering
with keen throes… I put it back and looked in。 My eye sought Helen；
and feared to find death。
Close by Miss Temple's bed； and half covered with its white
curtains； there stood a little crib。 I saw the outline of a form under
the clothes； but the face was hid by the hangings： the nurse I had
spoken to in the garden sat in an easy…chair asleep； an unsnuffed
candle burnt dimly on the table。 Miss Temple was not to be seen： I
knew afterwards that she had been called to a delirious patient in the
fever…room。 I advanced； then paused by the crib side： my hand was on
the curtain； but I preferred speaking before I withdrew it。 I still
recoiled at the dread of seeing a corpse。
'Helen！' I whispered softly； 'are you awake？'
She stirred herself； put back the curtain； and I saw her face；
pale； wasted； but quite composed： she looked so little changed that my
fear was instantly dissipated。
'Can it be you； Jane？' she asked； in her own gentle voice。
'Oh！' I thought； 'she is not going to die； they are mistaken： she
could not speak and look so calmly if she were。'
I got on to her crib and kissed her： her forehead was cold； and her
cheek both cold and thin； and so were her hand and wrist； but she
smiled as of old。
'Why are you come here； Jane？ It is past eleven o'clock： I heard it
strike some minutes since。'
'I came to see you； Helen： I heard you were very ill； and I could
not sleep till I had spoken to you。'
'You came to bid me good…bye； then： you are just in time probably。'
'Are you going somewhere； Helen？ Are you going home？'
'Yes； to my long home… my last home。'
'No； no； Helen！' I stopped； distressed。 While I tried to devour
my tears； a fit of coughing seized Helen； it did not； however； wake
the nurse； when it was over； she lay some minutes exhausted； then
she whispered…
'Jane； your little feet are bare； lie down and cover yourself
with my quilt。'
I did so： she put her arm over me； and I nestled close to her。
After a long silence； she resumed； still whispering…
'I am very happy； Jane； and when you hear that I am dead； you
must be sure and not grieve： there is nothing to grieve about。 We
all must die one day； and the illness which is removing me is not
painful； it is gentle and gradual： my mind is at rest。 I leave no
one to regret me much： I have only a father； and he is lately married；
and will not miss me。 By dying young； I shall escape great sufferings。
I had not qualities or talents to make my way very well in the
world： I should have been continually at fault。'
'But where are you going to； Helen？ Can you see？ Do you know？'
'I believe； I have faith： I am going to God。'
'Where is God？ What is God？'
'My Maker and yours； who will never destroy what He created。 I rely
implicitly on His power； and confide wholly in His goodness： I count
the hours till that eventful one arrives which shall restore me to
Him； reveal Him to me。'
'You are sure； then； Helen； that there is such a place as heaven；
and that our souls can get to it when we die？'
'I am sure there is a future state； I believe God is good； I can
resign my immortal part to Him without any misgiving。 God is my
father； God is my friend： I love Him； I believe He loves me。'
'And shall I see you again； Helen； when I die？'
'You will come to the same region of happiness： be received by
the same mighty； universal Parent； no doubt； dear Jane。'
Again I questioned； but this time only in thought。 'Where is that
region？ Does it exist？' And I clasped my arms closer around Helen； she
seemed dearer to me than ever； I felt as if I could not let her go；
I lay with my face hidden on her neck。 Presently she said； in the
sweetest tone…
'How comfortable I am！ That last fit of coughing has tired me a
little； I feel as if I could sleep： but don't leave me； Jane； I like
to have you near me。'
'I'll stay with you； dear Helen： no one shall take me away。'
'Are you warm； darling？'
'Yes。'
'Good…night； Jane。'
'Good…night； Helen。'
She kissed me； and I her； and we both soon slumbered。
When I awoke it was day： an unusual movement roused me； I looked
up； I was in somebody's arms； the nurse held me； she was carrying me
through the passage back to the dormitory。 I was not reprimanded for
leaving my bed； people had something else to think about； no
explanation was afforded then to my many questions； but a day or two
afterwards I learned that Miss Temple； on returning to her own room at
dawn； had found me laid in the little crib； my face against Helen
Burns's shoulder； my arms round her neck。 I was asleep； and Helen was…
dead。
Her grave is in Brocklebridge churchyard： for fifteen years after
her death it was only covered by a grassy mound； but now a grey marble
tablet marks the spot； inscribed with her name； and the word
'Resurgam。'
CHAPTER X
HITHERTO I have recorded in detail the events of my insignificant
existence： to the first ten years of my life I have given almost as
many chapters。 But this is not to be a regular autobiography： I am
only bound to invoke Memory where I know her responses will possess
some degree of interest； therefore I now pass a space of eight years
almost in silence： a few lines only are necessary to keep up the links
of connection。
When the typhus fever had fulfilled its mission of devastation at
Lowood； it gradually disappeared from thence； but not till its
virulence and the number of its victims had drawn public attention
on the school。 Inquiry was made into the origin of the scourge； and by
degrees various facts came out which excited public indignation in a
high degree。 The unhealthy nature of the site； the quantity and
quality of the children's food； the brackish； fetid water used in
its preparation； the pupils' wretched clothing and accommodations… all
these things were discovered； and the discovery produced a result
mortifying to Mr。 Brocklehurst； but beneficial to the institution。
Several wealthy and benevolent individuals in the county subscribed
largely for the erection of a more convenient building in a better
situation； new regulations were made； improvements in diet and
clothing introduced； the funds of the school were intrusted to the
management of a committee。 Mr。 Brocklehurst； who； from his wealth
and family connections； could not be overlooked； still retained the
post of treasurer； but he was aided in the discharge of his duties
by gentlemen of rather more enlarged and sympathising minds： his
office of inspector； too； was shared by those who knew how to
combine reason with strictness； comfort with economy； compassion
with uprightness。 The school； thus improved； became in time a truly
useful and noble institution。 I remained an inmate of its walls； after
its regeneration； for eight years： six as pupil； and two as teacher；
and in both capacities I bear my testimony to its value and
importance。
During these eight years my life was uniform： but not unhappy；
because it was not inactive。 I had the means of an excellent education
placed within my reach； a fondness for some of my studies； and a
desire to excel in all； together with a great delight in pleasing my
teachers； especially such as I loved； urged me on： I availed myself
fully of the advantages offered me。 In time I rose to be the first
girl of the first class； then I was invested with the office of
teacher； which I discharged with zeal for two years： but at the end of
that time I altered。
Miss Temple； through all changes； had thus far continued
superintendent of the seminary： to her instruction I owed the best
part of my acquirements； her friendship and society had been my
continual