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not as it should be。
CLEANTE Eh！ madam； can you hope to keep folk's tongues From
wagging？ It would be a grievous thing If； for the fear of idle talk about us；
We had to sacrifice our friends。 No； no； Even if we could bring ourselves
to do it； Think you that everyone would then be silenced？ Against
backbiting there is no defence So let us try to live in innocence； To silly
tattle pay no heed at all； And leave the gossips free to vent their gall。
DORINE Our neighbour Daphne； and her little husband； Must be the
ones who slander us； I'm thinking。 Those whose own conduct's most
ridiculous； Are always quickest to speak ill of others； They never fail to
seize at once upon The slightest hint of any love affair； And spread the
news of it with glee； and give it The character they'd have the world
believe in。 By others' actions； painted in their colours； They hope to justify
their own； they think； In the false hope of some resemblance； either To
make their own intrigues seem innocent； Or else to make their neighbours
share the blame Which they are loaded with by everybody。
MADAME PERNELLE These arguments are nothing to the purpose。
Orante； we all know； lives a perfect life； Her thoughts are all of heaven；
and I have heard That she condemns the company you keep。
DORINE O admirable pattern！ Virtuous dame！ She lives the model of
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TARTUFFE OR THE HYPOCRITE
austerity； But age has brought this piety upon her； And she's a prude； now
she can't help herself。 As long as she could capture men's attentions She
made the most of her advantages； But； now she sees her beauty vanishing；
She wants to leave the world； that's leaving her； And in the specious veil of
haughty virtue She'd hide the weakness of her worn…out charms。 That is
the way with all your old coquettes； They find it hard to see their lovers
leave 'em； And thus abandoned； their forlorn estate Can find no occupation
but a prude's。 These pious dames； in their austerity； Must carp at
everything； and pardon nothing。 They loudly blame their neighbours' way
of living； Not for religion's sake； but out of envy； Because they can't
endure to see another Enjoy the pleasures age has weaned them from。
MADAME PERNELLE （to Elmire） There！ That's the kind of
rigmarole to please you； Daughter…in…law。 One never has a chance To get a
word in edgewise； at your house； Because this lady holds the floor all day；
But none the less； I mean to have my say； too。 I tell you that my son did
nothing wiser In all his life； than take this godly man Into his household；
heaven sent him here； In your great need； to make you all repent； For your
salvation； you must hearken to him； He censures nothing but deserves his
censure。 These visits； these assemblies； and these balls； Are all inventions
of the evil spirit。 You never hear a word of godliness At thembut idle
cackle； nonsense； flimflam。 Our neighbour often comes in for a share； The
talk flies fast； and scandal fills the air； It makes a sober person's head go
round； At these assemblies； just to hear the sound Of so much gab； with
not a word to say； And as a learned man remarked one day Most aptly； 'tis
the Tower of Babylon； Where all； beyond all limit； babble on。 And just to
tell you how this point came in 。 。 。
（To Cleante） So！ Now the gentlemen must snicker； must he？ Go find
fools like yourself to make you laugh And don't 。 。 。
（To Elmire） Daughter； good…bye； not one word more。 As for this house；
I leave the half unsaid； But I shan't soon set foot in it again；
（Cuffing Flipotte） Come； you！ What makes you dream and stand agape；
Hussy！ I'll warm your ears in proper shape！ March； trollop； march！
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TARTUFFE OR THE HYPOCRITE
SCENE II CLEANTE； DORINE
CLEANTE I won't escort her down； For fear she might fall foul of
me again； The good old lady 。 。 。
DORINE Bless us！ What a pity She shouldn't hear the way you speak
of her！ She'd surely tell you you're too 〃good〃 by half； And that she's not
so 〃old〃 as all that； neither！
CLEANTE How she got angry with us all for nothing！ And how she
seems possessed with her Tartuffe！
DORINE Her case is nothing； though； beside her son's！ To see him；
you would say he's ten times worse！ His conduct in our late
unpleasantness ＇1＇ Had won him much esteem； and proved his courage In
service of his king； but now he's like A man besotted； since he's been so
taken With this Tartuffe。 He calls him brother； loves him A hundred times
as much as mother； son； Daughter； and wife。 He tells him all his secrets
And lets him guide his acts； and rule his conscience。 He fondles and
embraces him； a sweetheart Could not； I think； be loved more tenderly； At
table he must have the seat of honour； While with delight our master sees
him eat As much as six men could； we must give up The choicest tidbits to
him； if he belches； （'tis a servant speaking） ＇2＇ Master exclaims： 〃God
bless you！〃Oh； he dotes Upon him！ he's his universe； his hero； He's lost
in constant admiration； quotes him On all occasions； takes his trifling acts
For wonders； and his words for oracles。 The fellow knows his dupe； and
makes the most on't； He fools him with a hundred masks of virtue； Gets
money from him all the time by canting； And takes upon himself to carp at
us。 Even his silly coxcomb of a lackey Makes it his business to instruct us
too； He comes with rolling eyes to preach at us； And throws away our
ribbons； rouge； and patches。 The wretch； the other day； tore up a kerchief
That he had found； pressed in the /Golden Legend/； Calling it a horrid
crime for us to mingle The devil's finery with holy things。
＇Footnote 1： Referring to the rebellion called La Fronde； during the
minority of Louis XIV。＇
＇Footnote 2： Moliere's note； inserted in the text of all the old editions。
It is a curious illustration of the desire for uniformity and dignity of style
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TARTUFFE OR THE HYPOCRITE
in dramatic verse of the seventeenth century； that Moliere feels called on
to apologize for a touch of realism like this。 Indeed； these lines were even
omitted when the play was given。＇
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TARTUFFE OR THE HYPOCRITE
SCENE III ELMIRE； MARIANE； DAMIS；
CLEANTE； DORINE
ELMIRE （to Cleante） You're very lucky to have missed the speech
She gave us at the door。 I see my husband Is home again。 He hasn't seen
me yet； So I'll go up and wait till he comes in。
CLEANTE And I； to save time； will await him here； I'll merely say
good…morning； and be gone。
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TARTUFFE OR THE HYPOCRITE
SCENE IV CLEANTE； DAMIS； DORINE
DAMIS I wish you'd say a word to him about My sister's marriage； I
suspect Tartuffe Opposes it； and puts my father up To all these wretched
shifts。 You know； besides； How nearly I'm concerned in it myself； If love
unites my sister and Valere； I love his sister too； and if this marriage Were
to 。 。 。
DORINE He's coming。
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TARTUFFE OR THE HYPOCRITE
SCENE V ORGON； CLEANTE； DORINE
ORGON Ah！ Good morning； brother。
CLEANTE I was just going； but am glad to greet you。 Things are not
far advanced yet； in the country？
ORGON Dorine 。 。 。
（To Cleante） Just wait a bit； please； brother…in…law。 Let me allay my
first anxiety By asking news about the family。
（To Dorine） Has everything gone well these last two days？ What's
happening？ And how is everybody？
DORINE Madam had fever； and a splitting headache Day before
yesterday； all day and evening。
ORGON And how about Tartuffe？
DORINE Tartuffe？ He's well； He's mighty well； stout； fat； fair； rosy…
lipped。
ORGON Poor man！
DORINE At evening she had nausea And could't touch a single thing
for supper； Her headache still was so