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wrong； for we were speaking of suicide； which you compare with
great actions； when it is impossible to regard it as anything but
a weakness。 It is much easier to die than to bear a life of misery
with fortitude。〃
I was on the point of breaking off the conversation； for nothing
puts me so completely out of patience as the utterance of a wretched
commonplace when I am talking from my inmost heart。 However； I
composed myself； for I had often heard the same observation with
sufficient vexation； and I answered him； therefore； with a little
warmth； 〃You call this a weakness beware of being led astray
by appearances。 When a nation； which has long groaned under the
intolerable yoke of a tyrant； rises at last and throws off its
chains； do you call that weakness？ The man who； to rescue his
house from the flames； finds his physical strength redoubled； so
that he lifts burdens with ease； which； in the absence of excitement；
he could scarcely move； he who； under the rage of an insult； attacks
and puts to flight half a score of his enemies； are such persons
to be called weak？ My good friend； if resistance be strength； how
can the highest degree of resistance be a weakness？〃
Albert looked steadfastly at me； and said； 〃Pray forgive me； but
I do not see that the examples you have adduced bear any relation
to the question。〃 〃Very likely；〃 I answered； 〃for I have often
been told that my style of illustration borders a little on the
absurd。 But let us see if we cannot place the matter in another
point of view； by inquiring what can be a man's state of mind who
resolves to free himself from the burden of life； a burden often
so pleasant to bear； for we cannot otherwise reason fairly upon
the subject。
〃Human nature；〃 I continued； 〃has its limits。 It is able to endure
a certain degree of joy； sorrow； and pain； but becomes annihilated
as soon as this measure is exceeded。 The question； therefore； is；
not whether a man is strong or weak； but whether he is able to
endure the measure of his sufferings。 The suffering may be moral
or physical； and in my opinion it is just as absurd to call a man
a coward who destroys himself； as to call a man a coward who dies
of a malignant fever。〃
〃Paradox； all paradox！〃 exclaimed Albert。 〃Not so paradoxical as
you imagine；〃 I replied。 〃You allow that we designate a disease
as mortal when nature is so severely attacked； and her strength
so far exhausted； that she cannot possibly recover her former
condition under any change that may take place。
〃Now； my good friend； apply this to the mind； observe a man in his
natural； isolated condition； consider how ideas work； and how
impressions fasten on him； till at length a violent passion seizes
him； destroying all his powers of calm reflection； and utterly
ruining him。
〃It is in vain that a man of sound mind and cool temper understands
the condition of such a wretched being； in vain he counsels him。
He can no more communicate his own wisdom to him than a healthy
man can instil his strength into the invalid； by whose bedside he
is seated。〃
Albert thought this too general。 I reminded him of a girl who had
drowned herself a short time previously； and I related her history。
She was a good creature； who had grown up in the narrow sphere of
household industry and weekly appointed labour； one who knew no
pleasure beyond indulging in a walk on Sundays； arrayed in her
best attire； accompanied by her friends； or perhaps joining in the
dance now and then at some festival； and chatting away her spare
hours with a neighbour； discussing the scandal or the quarrels of
the village； trifles sufficient to occupy her heart。 At length
the warmth of her nature is influenced by certain new and unknown
wishes。 Inflamed by the flatteries of men； her former pleasures
become by degrees insipid； till at length she meets with a youth
to whom she is attracted by an indescribable feeling； upon him she
now rests all her hopes； she forgets the world around her； she
sees； hears； desires nothing but him； and him only。 He alone
occupies all her thoughts。 Uncorrupted by the idle indulgence of
an enervating vanity； her affection moving steadily toward its
object； she hopes to become his； and to realise； in an everlasting
union with him； all that happiness which she sought； all that bliss
for which she longed。 His repeated promises confirm her hopes：
embraces and endearments； which increase the ardour of her desires；
overmaster her soul。 She floats in a dim； delusive anticipation
of her happiness； and her feelings become excited to their utmost
tension。 She stretches out her arms finally to embrace the object
of all her wishes and her lover forsakes her。 Stunned and bewildered；
she stands upon a precipice。 All is darkness around her。 No
prospect； no hope； no consolation forsaken by him in whom her
existence was centred！ She sees nothing of the wide world before
her； thinks nothing of the many individuals who might supply the
void in her heart； she feels herself deserted； forsaken by the
world； and； blinded and impelled by the agony which wrings her
soul； she plunges into the deep； to end her sufferings in the broad
embrace of death。 See here； Albert； the history of thousands； and
tell me； is not this a case of physical infirmity？ Nature has no
way to escape from the labyrinth： her powers are exhausted： she
can contend no longer； and the poor soul must die。
〃Shame upon him who can look on calmly； and exclaim； 'The foolish
girl！ she should have waited； she should have allowed time to wear
off the impression； her despair would have been softened； and she
would have found another lover to comfort her。' One might as well
say； 'The fool； to die of a fever！ why did he not wait till his
strength was restored； till his blood became calm？ all would then
have gone well； and he would have been alive now。'〃
Albert； who could not see the justice of the comparison； offered
some further objections； and； amongst others； urged that I had
taken the case of a mere ignorant girl。 But how any man of sense；
of more enlarged views and experience； could be excused； he was
unable to comprehend。 〃My friend！〃 I exclaimed； 〃man is but man；
and； whatever be the extent of his reasoning powers； they are of
little avail when passion rages within； and he feels himself
confined by the narrow limits of nature。 It were better； then
but we will talk of this some other time；〃 I said； and caught up
my hat。 Alas！ my heart was full； and we parted without conviction
on either side。 How rarely in this world do men understand each
other！
AUGUST 15。
There can be no doubt that in this world nothing is so indispensable
as love。 I observe that Charlotte could not lose me without a
pang； and the very children have but one wish； that is； that I
should visit them again to…morrow。 I went this afternoon to tune
Charlotte's piano。 But I could not do it； for the little ones
insisted on my telling them a story； and Charlotte herself urged
me to satisfy them。 I waited upon them at tea； and they are now
as fully contented with me as with Charlotte； and I told them my
very best tale of the princess who was waited upon by dwarfs。
I improve myself by this exercise； and am quite surprised at the
impression my stories create。 If I sometimes invent an incident
which I forget upon the next narration； they remind one directly
that the story was different before； so that I now endeavour to
relate with exactness the same anecdote in the same monotonous
tone； which never changes。 I find by this； how much an author
injures his works by altering them； even though they be improved
in a poetical point of view。 The first impression is readily
received。 We are so constituted that we believe the most incredible
things； and； once they are engraved upon the memory； woe to him
who would endeavour to efface them。
AUGUST 18。
Must it ever be thus； that the source of our happiness must
also be the fountain of our misery？ The full and ardent sentiment
which animated my heart with the love of nature； overwhelming me
with a torrent of delight； and which brought all paradise before
me； has now become an insupportable torment； a demon which perpetually
pursues and harasses me。 When in bygone days I gazed from these
rocks upon yonder mountains across the river； and upon the green；
flowery valley before me； and saw alI nature budding and bursting
around； the hills clothed from foot to peak with tall； thick forest
trees； the valleys in all their varied windings； shaded with the
loveliest woods； and the soft river gliding along amongst the
lisping reeds； mirroring the beautiful clouds which the soft evening
breeze wafted across the sky； when I heard the groves about me
melodious with the music of birds； and saw the million swarms of
insects dancing in the last golden beams of the sun； whose setting
rays awoke the humming beetles from their grassy beds； whilst the
subdued tumult around directed my attention to the ground； and I
there observed the arid rock compelled to yield nutriment to the
dry moss； whilst the heath flourished upon the barren sands below
me； all this displayed to me the inner