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young man objected； that we were not masters of ourselves； and
still less so of our feelings。 〃The question is about a disagreeable
feeling；〃 I added； 〃from which every one would willingly escape；
but none know their own power without trial。 Invalids are glad
to consult physicians； and submit to the most scrupulous regimen；
the most nauseous medicines； in order to recover their health。〃
I observed that the good old man inclined his head； and exerted
himself to hear our discourse； so I raised my voice； and addressed
myself directly to him。 We preach against a great many crimes；〃
I observed； 〃but I never remember a sermon delivered against
ill…humour。〃 〃That may do very well for your town clergymen；〃
said he： 〃country people are never ill…humoured； though； indeed；
it might be useful； occasionally； to my wife for instance； and the
judge。〃 We all laughed； as did he likewise very cordially； till
he fell into a fit of coughing； which interrupted our conversation
for a time。 Herr Schmidt resumed the subject。 〃You call ill
humour a crime；〃 he remarked； 〃but I think you use too strong a
term。〃 〃Not at all；〃 I replied； 〃if that deserves the name which
is so pernicious to ourselves and our neighbours。 Is it not enough
that we want the power to make one another happy； must we deprive
each other of the pleasure which we can all make for ourselves？
Show me the man who has the courage to hide his ill…humour； who
bears the whole burden himself； without disturbing the peace of
those around him。 No： ill…humour arises from an inward consciousness
of our own want of merit； from a discontent which ever accompanies
that envy which foolish vanity engenders。 We see people happy；
whom we have not made so； and cannot endure the sight。〃 Charlotte
looked at me with a smile； she observed the emotion with which I
spoke： and a tear in the eyes of Frederica stimulated me to proceed。
〃Woe unto those；〃 I said； 〃who use their power over a human heart
to destroy the simple pleasures it would naturally enjoy！ All the
favours； all the attentions； in the world cannot compensate for
the loss of that happiness which a cruel tyranny has destroyed。〃
My heart was full as I spoke。 A recollection of many things which
had happened pressed upon my mind； and filled my eyes with tears。
〃We should daily repeat to ourselves；〃 I exclaimed； 〃that we should
not interfere with our friends； unless to leave them in possession
of their own joys； and increase their happiness by sharing it with
them！ But when their souls are tormented by a violent passion；
or their hearts rent with grief； is it in your power to afford
them the slightest consolation？
〃And when the last fatal malady seizes the being whose untimely
grave you have prepared； when she lies languid and exhausted before
you； her dim eyes raised to heaven； and the damp of death upon her
pallid brow； there you stand at her bedside like a condemned
criminal； with the bitter feeling that your whole fortune could
not save her； and the agonising thought wrings you； that all your
efforts are powerless to impart even a moment's strength to the
departing soul； or quicken her with a transitory consolation。〃
At these words the remembrance of a similar scene at which I had
been once present fell with full force upon my heart。 I buried my
face in my handkerchief； and hastened from the room； and was only
recalled to my recollection by Charlotte's voice； who reminded me
that it was time to return home。 With what tenderness she chid
me on the way for the too eager interest I took in everything！
She declared it would do me injury； and that I ought to spare
myself。 Yes； my angel！ I will do so for your sake。
JULY 6。
She is still with her dying friend； and is still the same bright；
beautiful creature whose presence softens pain； and sheds happiness
around whichever way she turns。 She went out yesterday with her
little sisters： I knew it； and went to meet them； and we walked
together。 In about an hour and a half we returned to the town。
We stopped at the spring I am so fond of； and which is now a
thousand times dearer to me than ever。 Charlotte seated herself
upon the low wall； and we gathered about her。 I looked around；
and recalled the time when my heart was unoccupied and free。
〃Dear fountain！〃 I said； 〃since that time I have no more come to
enjoy cool repose by thy fresh stream： I have passed thee with
careless steps； and scarcely bestowed a glance upon thee。〃 I
looked down； and observed Charlotte's little sister； Jane； coming
up the steps with a glass of water。 I turned toward Charlotte；
and I felt her influence over me。 Jane at the moment approached
with the glass。 Her sister； Marianne； wished to take it from her。
〃No！〃 cried the child； with the sweetest expression of face；
〃Charlotte must drink first。〃
The affection and simplicity with which this was uttered so charmed
me； that I sought to express my feelings by catching up the child
and kissing her heartily。 She was frightened； and began to cry。
〃You should not do that；〃 said Charlotte： I felt perplexed。 〃Come；
Jane；〃 she continued； taking her hand； and leading her down the
steps again； 〃it is no matter： wash yourself quickly in the fresh
water。〃 I stood and watched them； and when I saw the little dear
rubbing her cheeks with her wet hands； in full belief that all
the impurities contracted from my ugly beard would be washed off
by the miraculous water； and how； though Charlotte said it would
do； she continued still to wash with all her might； as though she
thought too much were better than too little； I assure you； Wilhelm；
I never attended a baptism with greater reverence； and； when
Charlotte came up from the well； I could have prostrated myself
as before the prophet of an Eastern nation。
In the evening I would not resist telling the story to a person
who； I thought； possessed some natural feeling； because he was a
man of understanding。 But what a mistake I made。 He maintained
it was very wrong of Charlotte； that we should not deceive children；
that such things occasioned countless mistakes and superstitions；
from which we were bound to protect the young。 It occurred to me
then； that this very man had been baptised only a week before； so
I said nothing further； but maintained the justice of my own
convictions。 We should deal with children as God deals with us；
we are happiest under the influence of innocent delusions。
JULY 8。
What a child is man that he should be so solicitous about a look！
What a child is man！ We had been to Walheim： the ladies went in
a carriage； but during our walk I thought I saw in Charlotte's
dark eyes I am a fool but forgive me！ you should see them；
those eyes。 However； to be brief （for my own eyes are weighed
down with sleep）； you must know； when the ladies stepped into their
carriage again； young W。 Seldstadt； Andran； and I were standing
about the door。 They are a merry set of fellows； and they were
all laughing and joking together。 I watched Charlotte's eyes。
They wandered from one to the other； but they did not light on me；
on me； who stood there motionless； and who saw nothing but her！
My heart bade her a thousand times adieu； but she noticed me not。
The carriage drove off； and my eyes filled with tears。 I looked
after her： suddenly I saw Charlotte's bonnet leaning out of the
window； and she turned to look back； was it at me？ My dear friend；
I know not； and in this uncertainty I find consolation。 Perhaps
she turned to look at me。 Perhaps！ Good…night what a child I am！
JULY lO。
You should see how foolish I look in company when her name is
mentioned； particularly when I am asked plainly how I like her。
How I like her！ I detest the phrase。 What sort of creature must
he be who merely liked Charlotte； whose whole heart and senses
were not entirely absorbed by her。 Like her！ Some one asked me
lately how I liked Ossian。
JULY 11。
Madame M is very ill。 I pray for her recovery； because Charlotte
shares my sufferings。 I see her occasionally at my friend's house；
and to…day she has told me the strangest circumstance。 Old M
is a covetous； miserly fellow； who has long worried and annoyed
the poor lady sadly； but she has borne her afflictions patiently。
A few days ago； when the physician informed us that her recovery
was hopeless； she sent for her husband （Charlotte was present）；
and addressed him thus： 〃I have something to confess； which； after
my decease； may occasion trouble and confusion。 I have hitherto
conducted your household as frugally and economically as possible；
but you must pardon me for having defrauded you for thirty years。
At the commencement of our married life； you allowed a small sum
for the wants of the kitchen； and the other household expenses。
When our establishment increased and our property grew larger； I
could not persuade you to increase the weekly allowance in proportion：
in short； you know； that； when our wants were greatest； you required
me to supply everything with seven florins a week。 I took the
money from you without an observation； but made up the weekly
deficiency from the money…chest； as nobody would suspect your wife
of robbing