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the restraint I laid on myself in abstaining from the several
diversions adapted to my years cost me many a yearning； but the
pride which I inwardly enjoyed in the fancied dignity of my
character made me some amends。
〃Thus I passed on； without anything very memorable happening to
me； till I arrived at the age of twenty…three； when unfortunately
I fell acquainted with a young Neapolitan lady whose name was
Ariadne。 Her beauty was so exquisite that her first sight made a
violent impression on me； this was again improved by her
behavior； which was most genteel； easy； and affable： lastly； her
conversation completed the conquest。 In this she discovered a
strong and lively understanding； with the sweetest and most
benign temper。 This lovely creature was about eighteen when I
first unhappily beheld her at Rome； on a visit to a relation with
whom I had great intimacy。 As our interviews at first were
extremely frequent； my passions were captivated before I
apprehended the least danger； and the sooner probably； as the
young lady herself； to whom I consulted every method of
recommendation； was not displeased with my being her admirer。
〃Ariadne； having spent three months at Rome； now returned to
Naples； bearing my heart with her： on the other hand； I had all
the assurances consistent with the constraint under which the
most perfect modesty lays a young woman； that her own heart was
not entirely unaffected。 I soon found her absence gave me an
uneasiness not easy to be borne or to remove。 I now first
applied to diversions （of the graver sort； particularly to
music）； but in vain； they rather raised my desires and heightened
my anguish。 My passion at length grew so violent； that I began
to think of satisfying it。 As the first step to this； I
cautiously inquired into the circumstances of Ariadne's parents；
with which I was hitherto unacquainted： though； indeed； I did
not apprehend they were extremely great； notwithstanding the
handsome appearance of their daughter at Rome。 Upon examination；
her fortune exceeded my expectation； but was not sufficient to
justify my marriage with her； in the opinion of the wise and
prudent。 I had now a violent struggle between wisdom and
happiness； in which； after several grievous pangs； wisdom got the
better。 I could by no means prevail with myself to sacrifice
that character of profound wisdom； which I had with such uniform
conduct obtained； and with such caution hitherto preserved。 I
therefore resolved to conquer my affection； whatever it cost me；
and indeed it did not cost me a little。
〃While I was engaged in this conflict （for it lasted a long time）
Ariadne returned to Rome： her presence was a terrible enemy to
my wisdom； which even in her absence had with great difficulty
stood its ground。 It seems （as she hath since told me in Elysium
with much merriment） I had made the same impressions on her which
she had made on me。 Indeed； I believe my wisdom would have been
totally subdued by this surprise； had it not cunningly suggested
to me a method of satisfying my passion without doing any injury
to my reputation。 This was by engaging her privately as a
mistress； which was at that time reputable enough at Rome；
provided the affair was managed with an air of slyness and
gravity； though the secret was known to the whole city。
〃I immediately set about this project； and employed every art and
engine to effect it。 I had particularly bribed her priest； and
an old female acquaintance and distant relation of hers； into my
interest： but all was in vain； her virtue opposed the passion in
her breast as strongly as wisdom had opposed it in mine。 She
received my proposals with the utmost disdain； and presently
refused to see or hear from me any more。
〃She returned again to Naples； and left me in a worse condition
than before。 My days I now passed with the most irksome
uneasiness； and my nights were restless and sleepless。 The story
of our amour was now pretty public； and the ladies talked of our
match as certain； but my acquaintance denied their assent；
saying； 'No； no； he is too wise to marry so imprudently。' This
their opinion gave me； I own； very great pleasure； but； to say
the truth； scarce compensated the pangs I suffered to preserve
it。
〃One day； while I was balancing with myself； and had almost
resolved to enjoy my happiness at the price of my character； a
friend brought me word that Ariadne was married。 This news
struck me to the soul； and though I had resolution enough to
maintain my gravity before him （for which I suffered not a little
the more）； the moment I was alone I threw myself into the most
violent fit of despair； and would willingly have parted with
wisdom； fortune； and everything else； to have retrieved her； but
that was impossible； and I had now nothing but time to hope a
cure from。 This was very tedious in performing it； and the
longer as Ariadne had married a Roman cavalier； was now become my
near neighbor； and I had the mortification of seeing her make the
best of wives； and of having the happiness which I had lost；
every day before my eyes。
〃If I suffered so much on account of my wisdom in having refused
Ariadne； I was not much more obliged to it for procuring me a
rich widow； who was recommended to me by an old friend as a very
prudent match； and； indeed； so it was； her fortune being superior
to mine in the same proportion as that of Ariadne had been
inferior。 I therefore embraced this proposal； and my character
of wisdom soon pleaded so effectually for me with the widow； who
was herself a woman of great gravity and discretion； that I soon
succeeded； and as soon as decency would permit （of which this
lady was the strictest observer） we were married； being the
second day of the second week of the second year after her
husband's death； for she said she thought some period of time
above the year had a great air of decorum。
〃But； prudent as this lady was； she made me miserable。 Her
person was far from being lovely； but her temper was intolerable。
During fifteen years' habitation； I never passed a single day
without heartily cursing her； and the hour in which we came
together。 The only comfort I received； in the midst of the
highest torments； was from continually hearing the prudence of my
match commended by all my acquaintance。
〃Thus you see； in the affairs of love； I bought the reputation of
wisdom pretty dear。 In other matters I had it somewhat cheaper；
not that hypocrisy； which was the price I gave for it； gives one
no pain。 I have refused myself a thousand little amusements with
a feigned contempt； while I have really had an inclination to
them。 I have often almost choked myself to restrain from
laughing at a jest； and （which was perhaps to myself the least
hurtful of all my hypocrisy） have heartily enjoyed a book in my
closet which I have spoken with detestation of in public。 To sum
up my history in short； as I had few adventures worth
remembering； my whole life was one constant lie； and happy would
it have been for me if I could as thoroughly have imposed on
myself as I did on others： for reflection； at every turn； would
often remind me I was not so wise as people thought me； and this
considerably embittered the pleasure I received from the public
commendation of my wisdom。 This self…admonition； like a memento
mori or mortalis es； must be； in my opinion； a very dangerous
enemy to flattery： indeed； a weight sufficient to counterbalance
all the false praise of the world。 But whether it be that the
generality of wise men do not reflect at all； or whether they
have； from a constant imposition on others； contracted such a
habit of deceit as to deceive themselves； I will not determine：
it is； I believe； most certain that very few wise men know
themselves what fools they are； more than the world doth。 Good
gods！ could one but see what passes in the closet of wisdom！ how
ridiculous a sight must it be to behold the wise man； who
despises gratifying his palate； devouring custard； the sober wise
man with his dram…bottle； or； the anti…carnalist （if I may be
allowed the expression） chuckling over a bdy book or picture；
and perhaps caressing his house…maid！
〃But to conclude a character in which I apprehend I made as
absurd a figure as in any in which I trod the stage of earth； my
wisdom at last but an end to itself； that is； occasioned my
dissolution。
〃A relation of mine in the eastern part of the empire
disinherited his son； and left me his heir。 This happened in the
depth of winter； when I was in my grand climacteric； and had just
recovered of a dangerous disease。 As I had all the reason
imaginable to apprehend the family of the deceased would conspire
against me； and embezzle as much as they could； I advised with a
grave and wise friend what was proper to be done； whether I
should go myself； or employ a