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began to oppose his measures； whether right or wrong。 It is true
that monarch had faults enow。 He was so abandoned to lust and
luxury； that he addicted himself to the most extravagant excesses
in both； while he indolently suffered the king of France to rob
him of almost all his foreign dominions： my opposition therefore
was justifiable enough； and if my motive from within had been as
good as the occasion from without I should have had little to
excuse； but； in truth； I sought nothing but my own preferment； by
making myself formidable to the king； and then selling to him the
interest of that party by whose means I had become so。 Indeed；
had the public good been my care； however zealously I might have
opposed the beginning of his reign； I should not have scrupled to
lend him my utmost assistance in this struggle between him and
pope Innocent the third； in which he was so manifestly in the
right； nor have suffered the insolence of that pope； and the
power of the king of France； to have compelled him in the issue；
basely to resign his crown into the hands of the former； and
receive it again as a vassal； by means of which acknowledgment
the pope afterwards claimed this kingdom as a tributary fief to
be held of the papal chair； a claim which occasioned great
uneasiness to many subsequent princes； and brought numberless
calamities on the nation。
〃As the king had； among other concessions； stipulated to pay an
immediate sum of money to Pandulph； which he had great difficulty
to raise； it was absolutely necessary for him to apply to the
city； where my interest and popularity were so high that he had
no hopes without my assistance。 As I knew this； I took care to
sell myself and country as high as possible。 The terms I
demanded； therefore； were a place； a pension； and a knighthood。
All those were immediately consented to。 I was forthwith
knighted； and promised the other two。
〃I now mounted the hustings； and； without any regard to decency
or modesty； made as emphatical a speech in favor of the king as
before I had done against him。 In this speech I justified all
those measures which I had before condemned； and pleaded as
earnestly with my fellow…citizens to open their purses； as I had
formerly done to prevail with them to keep them shut。 But； alas！
my rhetoric had not the effect I proposed。 The consequence of my
arguments was only contempt to myself。 The people at first
stared on one another； and afterwards began unanimously to
express their dislike。 An impudent fellow among them； reflecting
on my trade； cried out； 'Stinking fish；' which was immediately
reiterated through the whole crowd。 I was then forced to slink
away home； but I was not able to accomplish my retreat without
being attended by the mob； who huzza'd me along the street with
the repeated cries of 'Stinking fish。'
〃I now proceeded to court； to inform his majesty of my faithful
service； and how much I had suffered in his cause。 I found by my
first reception he had already heard of my success。 Instead of
thanking me for my speech； he said the city should repent of
their obstinacy； for that he would show them who he was： and so
saying； he immediately turned that part to me to which the toe of
man hath so wonderful an affection； that it is very difficult；
whenever it presents itself conveniently； to keep our toes from
the most violent and ardent salutation of it。
〃I was a little nettled at this behavior； and with some
earnestness claimed the king's fulfilling his promise； but he
retired without answering me。 I then applied to some of the
courtiers； who had lately professed great friendship to me； had
eat at my house； and invited me to theirs： but not one would
return me any answer； all running away from me as if I had been
seized with some contagious distemper。 I now found by
experience； that as none can be so civil； so none can be ruder
than a courtier。
〃A few moments after the king's retiring I was left alone in the
room to consider what I should do or whither I should turn
myself。 My reception in the city promised itself to be equal at
least with what I found at court。 However； there was my home；
and thither it was necessary I should retreat for the present。
〃But； indeed； bad as I apprehended my treatment in the city would
be； it exceeded my expectation。 I rode home on an ambling pad
through crowds who expressed every kind of disregard and
contempt； pelting me not only with the most abusive language； but
with dirt。 However； with much difficulty I arrived at last at my
own house； with my bones whole； but covered over with filth。
〃When I was got within my doors； and had shut them against the
mob； who had pretty well vented their spleen； and seemed now
contented to retire； my wife； whom I found crying over her
children； and from whom I had hoped some comfort in my
afflictions； fell upon me in the most outrageous manner。 She
asked me why I would venture on such a step； without consulting
her； she said her advice might have been civilly asked； if I was
resolved not to have been guided by it。 That； whatever opinion I
might have conceived of her understanding； the rest of the world
thought better of it。 That I had never failed when I had asked
her counsel； nor ever succeeded without it；with much more of
the same kind； too tedious to mention； concluding that it was a
monstrous behavior to desert my party and come over to the court。
An abuse which I took worse than all the rest； as she had been
constantly for several years assiduous in railing at the
opposition； in siding with the court…party； and begging me to
come over to it； and especially after my mentioning the offer of
knighthood to her； since which time she had continually
interrupted my repose with dinning in my ears the folly of
refusing honors and of adhering to a party and to principles by
which I was certain of procuring no advantage to myself and my
family。
〃I had now entirely lost my trade； so that I had not the least
temptation to stay longer in a city where I was certain of
receiving daily affronts and rebukes。 I therefore made up my
affairs with the utmost expedition； and； scraping together all I
could； retired into the country； where I spent the remainder of
my days in universal contempt； being shunned by everybody；
perpetually abused by my wife； and not much respected by my
children。
〃Minos told me； though I had been a very vile fellow； he thought
my sufferings made some atonement； and so bid me take the other
trial。〃
CHAPTER XXIV
Julian recounts what happened to him while he was a poet。
〃Rome was now the seat of my nativity； where I was born of a
family more remarkable for honor than riches。 I was intended for
the church； and had a pretty good education； but my father dying
while I was young； and leaving me nothing； for he had wasted his
whole patrimony； I was forced to enter myself in the order of
mendicants。
〃When I was at school I had a knack of rhyming； which I unhappily
mistook for genius； and indulged to my cost； for my verses drew
on me only ridicule； and I was in contempt called the poet。
〃This humor pursued me through my life。 My first composition
after I left school was a panegyric on pope Alexander IV； who
then pretended a project of dethroning the king of Sicily。 On
this subject I composed a poem of about fifteen thousand lines；
which with much difficulty I got to be presented to his holiness；
of whom I expected great preferment as my reward； but I was
cruelly disappointed： for when I had waited a year； without
hearing any of the commendations I had flattered myself with
receiving； and being now able to contain no longer； I applied to
a Jesuit who was my relation； and had the pope's ear； to know
what his holiness's opinion was of my work： he coldly answered
me that he was at that time busied in concerns of too much
importance to attend the reading of poems。
〃However dissatisfied I might be； and really was； with this
reception； and however angry I was with the pope？ for whose
understanding I entertained an immoderate contempt； I was not yet
discouraged from a second attempt。 Accordingly； I soon after
produced another work； entitled； The Trojan Horse。 This was an
allegorical work； in which the church was introduced into the
world in the same manner as that machine had been into Troy。 The
priests were the soldiers in its belly； and the heathen
superstition the city to be destroyed by them。 This poem was
written in Latin。 I remember some of the lines：
Mundanos scandit fatalis machina muros；
Farta sacerdotum turmis： exinde per alvum
Visi exire omnes； maguo cum murmure olentes。
Non aliter quam cum llumanis furibundus ab antris
It sonus et nares simul aura invadit hiantes。
Mille scatent et mille alii； trepidare timore
Ethnica gens coepit： falsi per inane volantes
Effu