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thought made its way to my heart； to fly the object of it； and by
new lovers to drive the image from my breast。 I consulted my
glass every morning； and got such a command of my countenance
that I could suit it to the different tastes of variety of
lovers； and though I was young； for I was not yet above
seventeen； yet my public way of life gave me such continual
opportunities of conversing with men； and the strong desire I now
had of pleasing them led me to make such constant observations on
everything they said or did； that I soon found out the different
methods of dealing with them。 I observed that most men generally
liked in women what was most opposite to their own characters；
therefore to the grave solid man of sense I endeavored to appear
sprightly and full of spirit； to the witty and gay； soft and
languishing； to the amorous （for they want no increase of their
passions）； cold and reserved； to the fearful and backward； warm
and full of fire； and so of all the rest。 As to beaux； and all
of those sort of men； whose desires are centered in the
satisfaction of their vanity； I had learned by sad experience the
only way to deal with them was to laugh at them and let their own
good opinion of themselves be the only support of their hopes。 I
knew； while I could get other followers； I was sure of them； for
the only sign of modesty they ever give is that of not depending
on their own judgments； but following the opinions of the
greatest number。 Thus furnished with maxims； and grown wise by
past errors； I in a manner began the world again： I appeared in
all public places handsomer and more lively than ever； to the
amazement of every one who saw me and had heard of the affair
between me and my lord。 He himself was much surprised and vexed
at this sudden change； nor could he account how it was possible
for me so soon to shake off those chains he thought he had fixed
on me for life； nor was he willing to lose his conquest in this
manner。 He endeavored by all means possible to talk to me again
of love； but I stood fixed to my resolution （in which I was
greatly assisted by the crowd of admirers that daily surrounded
me） never to let him explain himself： for； notwithstanding all
my pride； I found the first impression the heart receives of love
is so strong that it requires the most vigilant care to prevent
a relapse。 Now I lived three years in a constant round of
diversions； and was made the perfect idol of all the men that
came to court of all ages and all characters。 I had several good
matches offered me； but I thought none of them equal to my merit；
and one of my greatest pleasures was to see those women who had
pretended to rival me often glad to marry those whom I had
refused。 Yet； notwithstanding this great success of my schemes；
I cannot say I was perfectly happy； for every woman that was
taken the least notice of； and every man that was insensible to
my arts； gave me as much pain as all the rest gave me pleasure；
and sometimes little underhand plots which were laid against my
designs would succeed in spite of my care： so that I really
began to grow weary of this manner of life； when my father；
returning from his embassy in France； took me home with him； and
carried me to a little pleasant country…house； where there was
nothing grand or superfluous； but everything neat and agreeable。
There I led a life perfectly solitary。 At first the time hung
very heavy on my hands； and I wanted all kind of employment； and
I had very like to have fallen into the height of the vapors；
from no other reason but from want of knowing what to do with
myself。 But when I had lived here a little time I found such a
calmness in my mind； and such a difference between this and the
restless anxieties I had experienced in a court； that I began to
share the tranquillity that visibly appeared in everything round
me。 I set myself to do works of fancy； and to raise little
flower…gardens； with many such innocent rural amusements； which；
although they are not capable of affording any great pleasure；
yet they give that serene turn to the mind which I think much
preferable to anything else human nature is made susceptible of。
I now resolved to spend the rest of my days here； and that
nothing should allure me from that sweet retirement； to be again
tossed about with tempestuous passions of any kind。 Whilst I was
in this situation； my lord Percy； the earl of Northumberland's
eldest son； by an accident of losing his way after a fox…chase；
was met by my father； about a mile from our house； he came home
with him； only with a design of dining with us； but was so taken
with me that he stayed three days。 I had too much experience in
all affairs of this kind not to see presently the influence I had
on him； but I was at that time so entirely free from all
ambition； that even the prospect of being a countess had no
effect on me； and I then thought nothing in the world could have
bribed me to have changed my way of life。 This young lord； who
was just in his bloom； found his passion so strong； he could not
endure a long absence； but returned again in a week； and
endeavored； by all the means he could think of； to engage me to
return his affection。 He addressed me with that tenderness and
respect which women on earth think can flow from nothing but real
love； and very often told me that； unless he could be so happy as
by his assiduity and care to make himself agreeable to me；
although he knew my father would eagerly embrace any proposal
from him； yet he would suffer that last of miseries of never
seeing me more rather than owe his own happiness to anything that
might be the least contradiction to my inclinations。 This manner
of proceeding had something in it so noble and generous； that by
degrees it raised a sensation in me which I know not how to
describe； nor by what name to call it： it was nothing like my
former passion： for there was no turbulence； no uneasy waking
nights attending it； but all I could with honor grant to oblige
him appeared to me to be justly due to his truth and love； and
more the effect of gratitude than of any desire of my own。 The
character I had heard of him from my father at my first returning
to England； in discoursing of the young nobility； convinced me
that if I was his wife I should have the perpetual satisfaction
of knowing every action of his must be approved by all the
sensible part of mankind； so that very soon I began to have no
scruple left but that of leaving my little scene of quietness；
and venturing again into the world。 But this； by his continual
application and submissive behavior； by degrees entirely
vanished； and I agreed he should take his own time to break it to
my father； whose consent he was not long in obtaining； for such a
match was by no means to be refused。 There remained nothing now
to be done but to prevail with the earl of Northumberland to
comply with what his son so ardently desired； for which purpose
he set out immediately for London； and begged it as the greatest
favor that I would accompany my father； who was also to go
thither the week following。 I could not refuse his request； and
as soon as we arrived in town he flew to me with the greatest
raptures to inform me his father was so good that； finding his
happiness depended on his answer； he had given him free leave to
act in this affair as would best please himself； and that he had
now no obstacle to prevent his wishes。 It was then the beginning
of the winter； and the time for our marriage was fixed for the
latter end of March： the consent of all parties made his access
to me very easy； and we conversed together both with innocence
and pleasure。 As his fondness was so great that he contrived all
the methods possible to keep me continually in his sight； he told
me one morning he was commanded by his father to attend him to
court that evening； and begged I would be so good as to meet him
there。 I was now so used to act as he would have me that I made
no difficulty of complying with his desire。 Two days after this；
I was very much surprised at perceiving such a melancholy in his
countenance； and alteration in his behavior； as I could no way
account for； but； by importunity； at last I got from him that
cardinal Wolsey； for what reason he knew not； had peremptorily
forbid him to think any more of me： and； when he urged that his
father was not displeased with it； the cardinal； in his imperious
manner； answered him； he should give his father such convincing
reasons why it would be attended with great inconveniences； that
he was sure he could bring him to be of his opinion。 On which he
turned from him； and gave him no opportunity of replying。 I
could not imagine what design the cardinal could have in
intermeddling in this match； and I was still more perplexed to
find that my father treated my lord Percy with much more coldness
than usual； he