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she had long been entirely ashamed of。
The beauteous spirit； perceiving her question gave offense；
pursued it no farther。 She had indeed all the sweetness and
good…humor which are so extremely amiable （when found） in that
sex which tenderness most exquisitely becomes。 Her countenance
displayed all the cheerfulness； the good…nature； and the modesty；
which diffuse such brightness round the beauty of Seraphina；＇5＇
awing every beholder with respect； and； at the same time；
ravishing him with admiration。 Had it not been indeed for our
conversation on the small…pox； I should have imagined we had been
honored with her identical presence。 This opinion might have
been heightened by the good sense she uttered whenever she spoke；
by the delicacy of her sentiments； and the complacence of her
behavior； together with a certain dignity which attended every
look； word； and gesture； qualities which could not fail making an
impression on a heart＇6＇ so capable of receiving it as mine； nor
was she long in raising in me a very violent degree of seraphic
love。 I do not intend by this； that sort of love which men are
very properly said to make to women in the lower world； and which
seldom lasts any longer than while it is making。 I mean by
seraphic love an extreme delicacy and tenderness of friendship；
of which； my worthy reader； if thou hast no conception； as it is
probable thou mayest not； my endeavor to instruct thee would be
as fruitless as it would be to explain the most difficult
problems of Sir Isaac Newton to one ignorant of vulgar
arithmetic。
＇5＇ A particular lady of quality is meant here； but every lady
of quality； or no quality； are welcome to apply the character to
themselves。
＇6＇ We have before made an apology for this language； which we
here repeat for the last time； though the heart may； we hope； be
metaphorically used here with more propriety than when we apply
those passions to the body which belong to the soul。
To return therefore to matters comprehensible by all
understandings： the discourse now turned on the vanity； folly；
and misery of the lower world； from which every passenger in the
coach expressed the highest satisfaction in being delivered；
though it was very remarkable that； notwithstanding the joy we
declared at our death； there was not one of us who did not
mention the accident which occasioned it as a thing we would have
avoided if we could。 Nay； the very grave lady herself； who was
the forwardest in testifying her delight； confessed inadvertently
that she left a physician by her bedside； and the gentleman who
died of honor very liberally cursed both his folly and his
fencing。 While we were entertaining ourselves with these
matters； on a sudden a most offensive smell began to invade our
nostrils。 This very much resembled the savor which travelers in
summer perceive at their approach to that beautiful village of
the Hague； arising from those delicious canals which； as they
consist of standing water； do at that time emit odors greatly
agreeable to a Dutch taste； but not so pleasant to any other。
Those perfumes； with the assistance of a fair wind； begin to
affect persons of quick olfactory nerves at a league's distance；
and increase gradually as you approach。 In the same manner did
the smell I have just mentioned； more and more invade us； till
one of the spirits； looking out of the coach…window； declared we
were just arrived at a very large city； and indeed he had scarce
said so before we found ourselves in the suburbs； and； at the
same time； the coachman； being asked by another； informed us that
the name of this place was the City of Diseases。 The road to it
was extremely smooth； and； excepting the above…mentioned savor；
delightfully pleasant。 The streets of the suburbs were lined
with bagnios； taverns； and cooks' shops： in the first we saw
several beautiful women； but in tawdry dresses； looking out at
the windows； and in the latter were visibly exposed all kinds of
the richest dainties； but on our entering the city we found；
contrary to all we had seen in the other world； that the suburbs
were infinitely pleasanter than the city itself。 It was indeed a
very dull； dark； and melancholy place。 Few people appeared in
the streets； and these； for the most part； were old women； and
here and there a formal grave gentleman； who seemed
to be thinking； with large tie…wigs on； and amber…headed canes in
their hands。 We were all in hopes that our vehicle would not
stop here； but； to our sorrow； the coach soon drove into an inn；
and we were obliged to alight。
CHAPTER III
The adventures we met with in the City of Diseases。
We had not been long arrived in our inn； where it seems we were
to spend the remainder of the day； before our host acquainted us
that it was customary for all spirits； in their passage through
that city； to pay their respects to that lady Disease； to whose
assistance they had owed their deliverance from the lower world。
We answered we should not fail in any complacence which was usual
to others； upon which our host replied he would immediately send
porters to conduct us。 He had not long quitted the room before
we were attended by some of those grave persons whom I have
before described in large tie…wigs with amber…headed canes。
These gentlemen are the ticket…porters in the city； and their
canes are the insignia； or tickets； denoting their office。 We
informed them of the several ladies to whom we were obliged； and
were preparing to follow them； when on a sudden they all stared
at one another； and left us in a hurry； with a frown on every
countenance。 We were surprised at this behavior； and presently
summoned the host； who was no sooner acquainted with it than he
burst into an hearty laugh； and told us the reason was； because
we did not fee the gentlemen the moment they came in； according
to the custom of the place。 We answered； with some confusion； we
had brought nothing with us from the other world； which we had
been all our lives informed was not lawful to do。 〃No； no；
master；〃 replied the host； 〃I am apprised of that； and indeed it
was my fault。 I should have first sent you to my lord Scrape；＇7＇
who would have supplied you with what you want。〃 〃My lord Scrape
supply us！〃 said I； with astonishment： 〃sure you must know we
cannot give him security； and I am convinced he never lent a
shilling without it in his life。〃 〃No； sir；〃 answered the host；
〃and for that reason he is obliged to do it here； where he is
sentenced to keep a bank； and to distribute money gratis to all
passengers。 This bank originally consisted of just that sum；
which he had miserably hoarded up in the other world； and he is
to perceive it decrease visibly one shilling a…day； till it is
totally exhausted； after which he is to return to the other
world； and perform the part of a miser for seventy years； then；
being purified in the body of a hog； he is to enter the human
species again； and take a second trial。〃 〃Sir；〃 said I； 〃you
tell me wonders： but if his bank be to decrease only a shilling
a day； how can he furnish all passengers？〃 〃The rest；〃 answered
the host； 〃is supplied again； but in a manner which I cannot
easily explain to you。〃 〃I apprehend；〃 said I； 〃this
distribution of his money is inflicted on him as a punishment；
but I do not see how it can answer that end； when he knows it is
to be restored to him again。 Would it not serve the purpose as
well if he parted only with the single shilling； which it seems
is all he is really to lose？〃 〃Sir；〃 cries the host； 〃when you
observe the agonies with which he parts with every guinea； you
will be of another opinion。 No prisoner condemned to death ever
begged so heartily for transportation as he； when he received his
sentence； did to go to hell； provided he might carry his money
with him。 But you will know more of these things when you arrive
at the upper world； and now； if you please； I will attend you to
my lord's； who is obliged to supply you with whatever you
desire。〃
＇7＇ That we may mention it once for all； in the panegyrical part
of this work some particular person is always meant： but； in the
satirical； nobody。
We found his lordship sitting at the upper end of a table； on
which was an immense sum of money； disposed in several heaps；
every one of which would have purchased the honor of some
patriots and the chastity of some prudes。 The moment he saw us
he turned pale； and sighed； as well apprehending our business。
Mine host accosted him with a familiar air； which at first
surprised me； who so well remembered the respect I had formerly
seen paid this lord by men infinitely superior in quality to the
person who now saluted him in the following manner： 〃Here； you
lord； and be damd to your little sneaking soul； tell out your
money； and supply your betters with what they want。 Be quick；
sir