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dyeing his hair and staining his face and hands。 And he had got
their permit out of the Professors before he left them; clearly;
then; he meant coming back; and coming back at once before the
permit had expired。 How could she doubt? My father; she felt
sure; must by this time be in Sunch'ston。 He would go back to
change his clothes; which would not be very far down on the other
side the pass; for he would not put on his old Erewhonian dress
till he was on the point of entering Erewhon; and he would hide his
English dress rather than throw it away; for he would want it when
he went back again。 It would be quite possible; then; for him to
get through the forest before the permit was void; and he would be
sure to go on to Sunch'ston for the night。
She chatted unconcernedly; now with one guest now with another;
while they in their turn chatted unconcernedly with one another。
Miss La Frime to Mrs。 Humdrum: 〃You know how he got his
professorship? No? I thought every one knew that。 The question
the candidates had to answer was; whether it was wiser during a
long stay at a hotel to tip the servants pretty early; or to wait
till the stay was ended。 All the other candidates took one side or
the other; and argued their case in full。 Hanky sent in three
lines to the effect that the proper thing to do would be to promise
at the beginning; and go away without giving。 The King; with whom
the appointment rested; was so much pleased with this answer that
he gave Hanky the professorship without so much as looking 。 。 。 〃
Professor Gabb to Mrs。 Humdrum: 〃Oh no; I can assure you there is
no truth in it。 What happened was this。 There was the usual
crowd; and the people cheered Professor after Professor; as he
stood before them in the great Bridgeford theatre and satisfied
them that a lump of butter which had been put into his mouth would
not melt in it。 When Hanky's turn came he was taken suddenly
unwell; and had to leave the theatre; on which there was a report
in the house that the butter had melted; this was at once stopped
by the return of the Professor。 Another piece of butter was put
into his mouth; and on being taken out after the usual time; was
found to shew no signs of having 。 。 。 〃
Miss Bawl to Mr。 Principal Crank: 。 。 。 〃The Manager was so tall;
you know; and then there was that little mite of an assistant
managerit WAS so funny。 For the assistant manager's voice was
ever so much louder than the 。 。 。 〃
Mrs。 Bawl to Professor Gabb: 。 。 。 〃Live for art! If I had to
choose whether I would lose either art or science; I have not the
smallest hesitation in saying that I would lose 。 。 。 〃
The Mayor and Dr。 Downie: 。 。 。 〃That you are to be canonised at
the close of the year along with Professors Hanky and Panky?〃
〃I believe it is his Majesty's intention that the Professors and
myself are to head the list of the Sunchild's Saints; but we have
all of us got to 。 。 。 〃
And so on; and so on; buzz; buzz; buzz; over the whole table。
Presently Yram turned to Hanky and said …
〃By the way; Professor; you must have found it very cold up at the
statues; did you not? But I suppose the snow is all gone by this
time?〃
〃Yes; it was cold; and though the winter's snow is melted; there
had been a recent fall。 Strange to say; we saw fresh footprints in
it; as of some one who had come up from the other side。 But
thereon hangs a tale; about which I believe I should say nothing。〃
〃Then say nothing; my dear Professor;〃 said Yram with a frank
smile。 〃Above all;〃 she added quietly and gravely; 〃say nothing to
the Mayor; nor to my son; till after Sunday。 Even a whisper of
some one coming over from the other side disquiets them; and they
have enough on hand for the moment。〃
Panky; who had been growing more and more restive at his friend's
outspokenness; but who had encouraged it more than once by vainly
trying to check it; was relieved at hearing his hostess do for him
what he could not do for himself。 As for Yram; she had got enough
out of the Professor to be now fully dissatisfied; and mentally
informed them that they might leave the witness…box。 During the
rest of dinner she let the subject of their adventure severely
alone。
It seemed to her as though dinner was never going to end; but in
the course of time it did so; and presently the ladies withdrew。
As they were entering the drawing…room a servant told her that her
son had been found more easily than was expected; and was now in
his own room dressing。
〃Tell him;〃 she said; 〃to stay there till I come; which I will do
directly。〃
She remained for a few minutes with her guests; and then; excusing
herself quietly to Mrs。 Humdrum; she stepped out and hastened to
her son's room。 She told him that Professors Hanky and Panky were
staying in the house; and that during dinner they had told her
something he ought to know; but which there was no time to tell him
until her guests were gone。 〃I had rather;〃 she said; 〃tell you
about it before you see the Professors; for if you see them the
whole thing will be reopened; and you are sure to let them see how
much more there is in it than they suspect。 I want everything
hushed up for the moment; do not; therefore; join us。 Have dinner
sent to you in your father's study。 I will come to you about
midnight。〃
〃But; my dear mother;〃 said George; 〃I have seen Panky already。 I
walked down with him a good long way this afternoon。〃
Yram had not expected this; but she kept her countenance。 〃How did
you know;〃 said she; 〃that he was Professor Panky? Did he tell you
so?〃
〃Certainly he did。 He showed me his permit; which was made out in
favour of Professors Hanky and Panky; or either of them。 He said
Hanky had been unable to come with him; and that he was himself
Professor Panky。〃
Yram again smiled very sweetly。 〃Then; my dear boy;〃 she said; 〃I
am all the more anxious that you should not see him now。 See
nobody but the servants and your brothers; and wait till I can
enlighten you。 I must not stay another moment; but tell me this
much; have you seen any signs of poachers lately?〃
〃Yes; there were three last night。〃
〃In what part of the preserves?〃
Her son described the place。
〃You are sure they had been killing quails?〃
〃Yes; and eating themtwo on one side of a fire they had lit; and
one on the other; this last man had done all the plucking。〃
〃Good!〃
She kissed him with more than even her usual tenderness; and
returned to the drawing…room。
During the rest of the evening she was engaged in earnest
conversation with Mrs。 Humdrum; leaving her other guests to her
daughters and to themselves。 Mrs。 Humdrum had been her closest
friend for many years; and carried more weight than any one else in
Sunch'ston; except; perhaps; Yram herself。 〃Tell him everything;〃
she said to Yram at the close of their conversation; 〃we all dote
upon him; trust him frankly; as you trusted your husband before you
let him marry you。 No lies; no reserve; no tears; and all will
come right。 As for me; command me;〃 and the good old lady rose to
take her leave with as kind a look on her face as ever irradiated
saint or angel。 〃I go early;〃 she added; 〃for the others will go
when they see me do so; and the sooner you are alone the better。〃
By half an hour before midnight her guests had gone。 Hanky and
Panky were given to understand that they must still be tired; and
had better go to bed。 So was the Mayor; so were her sons and
daughters; except of course George; who was waiting for her with
some anxiety; for he had seen that she had something serious to
tell him。 Then she went down into the study。 Her son embraced her
as she entered; and moved an easy chair for her; but she would not
have it。
〃No; I will have an upright one。〃 Then; sitting composedly down on
the one her son placed for her; she said …
〃And now to business。 But let me first tell you that the Mayor was
told; twenty years ago; all the more important part of what you
will now hear。 He does not yet know what has happened within the
last few hours; but either you or I will tell him to…morrow。〃
CHAPTER IX: INTERVIEW BETWEEN YRAM AND HER SON
〃What did you think of Panky?〃
〃I could not make him out。 If he had not been a Bridgeford
Professor I might have liked him; but you know how we all of us
distrust those people。〃
〃Where did you meet him?〃
〃About two hours lower down than the statues。〃
〃At what o'clock?〃
〃It might be between two and half…past。〃
〃I suppose he did not say that at that hour he was in bed at his
hotel in Sunch'ston。 Hardly! Tell me what passed between you。〃
〃He had his permit open before we were within speaking distance。 I
think he feared I should attack him without making sure whether he
was a foreign devil or no。 I have told you he said he was
Professor Panky。〃
〃I suppose he had a dark complexion and black hair like the rest of
us?〃
〃Dark complexion and hair purplish rather than black。 I was
surprised to see that his eyelashes were as light as my own; and
his eyes were blue like minebut you will have noticed this at
dinner。〃
〃No; my dear; I did not; and I thin