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。 Things are not settled； yet it is sufficient to say we have a CHANCE of going for half a year。 Dewsbury Moor is relinquished。 Perhaps； fortunately so。 In my secret soul； I believe there is no cause to regret it。 My plans for the future are bounded to this intention： if I once get to Brussels； and if my health is spared； I will do my best to make the utmost of every advantage that shall come within my reach。 When the half…year is expired； I will do what I can。
* * *
〃Believe me； though I was born in April； the month of cloud and sunshine； I am not changeful。 My spirits are unequal； and sometimes I speak vehemently； and sometimes I say nothing at all； but I have a steady regard for you； and if you will let the cloud and shower pass by； be sure the sun is always behind； obscured； but still existing。〃
At Christmas she left her situation； after a parting with her employers which seems to have affected and touched her greatly。 〃They only made too much of me；〃 was her remark； after leaving this family； 〃I did not deserve it。〃
All four children hoped to meet together at their father's house this December。 Branwell expected to have a short leave of absence from his employment as a clerk on the Leeds and Manchester Railway； in which he had been engaged for five months。 Anne arrived before Christmas…day。 She had rendered herself so valuable in her difficult situation； that her employers vehemently urged her to return； although she had announced her resolution to leave them； partly on account of the harsh treatment she had received； and partly because her stay at home； during her sisters' absence in Belgium； seemed desirable； when the age of the three remaining inhabitants of the parsonage was taken into consideration。
After some correspondence and much talking over plans at home； it seemed better； in consequence of letters which they received from Brussels giving a discouraging account of the schools there； that Charlotte and Emily should go to an institution at Lille； in the north of France； which was highly recommended by Baptist Noel； and other clergymen。 Indeed； at the end of January； it was arranged that they were to set off for this place in three weeks； under the escort of a French lady； then visiting in London。 The terms were 50L。 each pupil； for board and French alone； but a separate room was to be allowed for this sum； without this indulgence； it was lower。 Charlotte writes：…
〃January 20th； 1842。
〃I consider it kind in aunt to consent to an extra sum for a separate room。 We shall find it a great privilege in many ways。 I regret the change from Brussels to Lille on many accounts； chiefly that I shall not see Martha。 Mary has been indefatigably kind in providing me with information。 She has grudged no labour； and scarcely any expense； to that end。 Mary's price is above rubies。 I have； in fact； two friendsyou and herstaunch and true； in whose faith and sincerity I have as strong a belief as I have in the Bible。 I have bothered you bothyou especially； but you always get the tongs and heap coals of fire upon my head。 I have had letters to write lately to Brussels； to Lille； and to London。 I have lots of chemises； nightgowns； pocket… handkerchiefs； and pockets to make； besides clothes to repair。 I have been； every week since I came home； expecting to see Branwell； and he has never been able to get over yet。 We fully expect him； however； next Saturday。 Under these circumstances how can I go visiting？ You tantalize me to death with talking of conversations by the fireside。 Depend upon it； we are not to have any such for many a long month to come。 I get an interesting impression of old age upon my face； and when you see me next I shall certainly wear caps and spectacles。〃
CHAPTER XI
I am not aware of all the circumstances which led to the relinquishment of the Lille plan。 Brussels had had from the first a strong attraction for Charlotte； and the idea of going there； in preference to any other place； had only been given up in consequence of the information received of the second…rate character of its schools。 In one of her letters reference has been made to Mrs。 Jenkins； the wife of the chaplain of the British Embassy。 At the request of his brothera clergyman； living not many miles from Haworth； and an acquaintance of Mr。 Bronte'sshe made much inquiry； and at length； after some discouragement in her search； heard of a school which seemed in every respect desirable。 There was an English lady who had long lived in the Orleans family； amidst the various fluctuations of their fortunes； and who； when the Princess Louise was married to King Leopold； accompanied her to Brussels； in the capacity of reader。 This lady's granddaughter was receiving her education at the pensionnat of Madame Heger； and so satisfied was the grandmother with the kind of instruction given； that she named the establishment； with high encomiums； to Mrs。 Jerkins； and； in consequence； it was decided that； if the terms suited； Miss Bronte and Emily should proceed thither。 M。 Heger informs me that； on receipt of a letter from Charlotte； making very particular inquiries as to the possible amount of what are usually termed 〃extras；〃 he and his wife were so much struck by the simple earnest tone of the letter； that they said to each other：… 〃These are the daughters of an English pastor； of moderate means； anxious to learn with an ulterior view of instructing others； and to whom the risk of additional expense is of great consequence。 Let us name a specific sum； within which all expenses shall be included。〃
This was accordingly done； the agreement was concluded； and the Brontes prepared to leave their native county for the first time； if we except the melancholy and memorable residence at Cowan Bridge。 Mr。 Bronte determined to accompany his daughters。 Mary and her brother； who were experienced in foreign travelling； were also of the party。 Charlotte first saw London in the day or two they now stopped there； and； from an expression in one of her subsequent letters； they all； I believe； stayed at the Chapter Coffee House； Paternoster Rowa strange； old…fashioned tavern； of which I shall have more to say hereafter。
Mary's account of their journey is thus given。
〃In passing through London； she seemed to think our business was and ought to be； to see all the pictures and statues we could。 She knew the artists； and know where other productions of theirs were to be found。 I don't remember what we saw except St。 Paul's。 Emily was like her in these habits of mind； but certainly never took her opinion； but always had one to offer 。 。 。 I don't know what Charlotte thought of Brussels。 We arrived in the dark； and went next morning to our respective schools to see them。 We were； of course； much preoccupied； and our prospects gloomy。 Charlotte used to like the country round Brussels。 'At the top of every hill you see something。' She took； long solitary walks on the occasional holidays。〃
Mr。 Bronte took his daughters to the Rue d'Isabelle； Brussels； remained one night at Mr。 Jenkins'； and straight returned to his wild Yorkshire village。
What a contrast to that must the Belgian capital have presented to those two young women thus left behind！ Suffering acutely from every strange and unaccustomed contactfar away from their beloved home； and the dear moors beyondtheir indomitable will was their great support。 Charlotte's own words； with regard to Emily； are：…
〃After the age of twenty； having meantime studied alone with diligence and perseverance； she went with me to an establishment on the continent。 The same suffering and conflict ensued； heightened by the strong recoil of her upright heretic and English spirit from the gentle Jesuitry of the foreign and Romish system。 Once more she seemed sinking； but this time she rallied through the mere force of resolution： with inward remorse and shame she looked back on her former failure； and resolved to conquer； but the victory cost her dear。 She was never happy till she carried her hard…won knowledge back to the remote English village； the old parsonage…house； and desolate Yorkshire hills。〃
They wanted learning。 They came for learning。 They would learn。 Where they had a distinct purpose to be achieved in intercourse with their fellows； they forgot themselves； at all other times they were miserably shy。 Mrs。 Jenkins told me that she used to ask them to spend Sundays and holidays with her； until she found that they felt more pain than pleasure from such visits。 Emily hardly ever uttered more than a monosyllable。 Charlotte was sometimes excited sufficiently to speak eloquently and wellon certain subjects； but before her tongue was thus loosened； she had a habit of gradually wheeling round on her chair； so as almost to conceal her face from the person to whom she was speaking。
And yet there was much in Brussels to strike a responsive chord in her powerful imagination。 At length she was seeing somewhat of that grand old world of which she had dreamed。 As the gay crowds passed by her； so had gay crowds paced those streets for centuries； in all their varying costumes。 Every spot told an historic tale； extending back into the fabulous ages when Jan and