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give value to things； do not save me； I shall never come off with honour
from this foolish attempt： but 'tis so fantastic； and carries a face so
unlike the common use； that this； peradventure； may make it pass。 'Tis a
melancholic humour； and consequently a humour very much an enemy to my
natural complexion； engendered by the pensiveness of the solitude into
which for some years past I have retired myself； that first put into
my head this idle fancy of writing。 Wherein； finding myself totally
unprovided and empty of other matter； I presented myself to myself for
argument and subject。 'Tis the only book in the world of its kind； and
of a wild and extravagant design。 There is nothing worth remark in this
affair but that extravagancy： for in a subject so vain and frivolous； the
best workman in the world could not have given it a form fit to recommend
it to any manner of esteem。
Now； madam； having to draw my own picture to the life； I had omitted one
important feature； had I not therein represented the honour I have ever
had for you and your merits； which I have purposely chosen to say in the
beginning of this chapter； by reason that amongst the many other
excellent qualities you are mistress of； that of the tender love you have
manifested to your children； is seated in one of the highest places。
Whoever knows at what age Monsieur D'Estissac； your husband； left you a
widow； the great and honourable matches that have since been offered to
you； as many as to any lady of your condition in France； the constancy
and steadiness wherewith； for so many years； you have sustained so many
sharp difficulties； the burden and conduct of affairs； which have
persecuted you in every corner of the kingdom； and are not yet weary of
tormenting you； and the happy direction you have given to all these； by
your sole prudence or good fortune； will easily conclude with me that we
have not so vivid an example as yours of maternal affection in our times。
I praise God； madam； that it has been so well employed； for the great
hopes Monsieur D'Estissac； your son； gives of himself； render sufficient
assurance that when he comes of age you will reap from him all the
obedience and gratitude of a very good man。 But； forasmuch as by reason
of his tender years； he has not been capable of taking notice of those
offices of extremest value he has in so great number received from you；
I will； if these papers shall one day happen to fall into his hands； when
I shall neither have mouth nor speech left to deliver it to him； that he
shall receive from me a true account of those things； which shall be more
effectually manifested to him by their own effects； by which he will
understand that there is not a gentleman in France who stands more
indebted to a mother's care； and that he cannot； in the future； give a
better nor more certain testimony of his own worth and virtue than by
acknowledging you for that excellent mother you are。
If there be any law truly natural； that is to say； any instinct that is
seen universally and perpetually imprinted in both beasts and men （which
is not without controversy）； I can say； that in my opinion； next to the
care every animal has of its own preservation； and to avoid that which
may hurt him； the affection that the begetter bears to his offspring
holds the second place in this rank。 And seeing that nature appears to
have recommended it to us； having regard to the extension and progression
of the successive pieces of this machine of hers； 'tis no wonder if； on
the contrary； that of children towards their parents is not so great。
To which we may add this other Aristotelian consideration； that he who
confers a benefit on any one； loves him better than he is beloved by him
again： that he to whom is owing； loves better than he who owes； and that
every artificer is fonder of his work； than； if that work had sense； it
would be of him； by reason that it is dear to us to be； and to be
consists in movement and action； therefore every one has in some sort a
being in his work。 He who confers a benefit exercises a fine and honest
action； he who receives it exercises the useful only。 Now the useful is
much less lovable than the honest； the honest is stable and permanent；
supplying him who has done it with a continual gratification。 The useful
loses itself； easily slides away； and the memory of it is neither so
fresh nor so pleasing。 Those things are dearest to us that have cost us
most； and giving is more chargeable than receiving。
Since it has pleased God to endue us with some capacity of reason； to the
end we may not； like brutes； be servilely subject and enslaved to the
laws common to both； but that we should by judgment and a voluntary
liberty apply ourselves to them； we ought； indeed； something to yield to
the simple authority of nature； but not suffer ourselves to be
tyrannically hurried away and transported by her； reason alone should
have the conduct of our inclinations。 I； for my part； have a strange
disgust for those propensions that are started in us without the
mediation and direction of the judgment； as； upon the subject I am
speaking of； I cannot entertain that passion of dandling and caressing
infants scarcely born； having as yet neither motion of soul nor shape of
body distinguishable； by which they can render themselves amiable； and
have not willingly suffered them to be nursed near me。 A true and
regular affection ought to spring and increase with the knowledge they
give us of themselves； and then； if they are worthy of it； the natural
propension walking hand in hand with reason； to cherish them with a truly
paternal love； and so to judge； also； if they be otherwise； still
rendering ourselves to reason； notwithstanding the inclination of nature。
'Tis oft…times quite otherwise； and； most commonly； we find ourselves
more taken with the running up and down； the games； and puerile
simplicities of our children； than we do； afterwards； with their most
complete actions； as if we had loved them for our sport； like monkeys；
and not as men； and some there are； who are very liberal in buying them
balls to play withal； who are very close…handed for the least necessary
expense when they come to age。 Nay； it looks as if the jealousy of
seeing them appear in and enjoy the world when we are about to leave it；
rendered us more niggardly and stingy towards them； it vexes us that they
tread upon our heels； as if to solicit us to go out； if this were to be
feared； since the order of things will have it so that they cannot； to
speak the truth； be nor live； but at the expense of our being and life；
we should never meddle with being fathers at all。
For my part； I think it cruelty and injustice not to receive them into
the share and society of our goods； and not to make them partakers in the
intelligence of our domestic affairs when they are capable； and not to
lessen and contract our own expenses to make the more room for theirs；
seeing we beget them to that effect。 'Tis unjust that an old fellow；
broken and half dead； should alone； in a corner of the chimney； enjoy the
money that would suffice for the maintenance and advancement of many
children； and suffer them； in the meantime； to lose their' best years for
want of means to advance themselves in the public service and the
knowledge of men。 A man by this course drives them to despair； and to
seek out by any means； how unjust or dishonourable soever； to provide for
their own support： as I have； in my time； seen several young men of good
extraction so addicted to stealing； that no correction could cure them of
it。 I know one of a very good family； to whom； at the request of a
brother of his； a very honest and brave gentleman； I once spoke on this
account； who made answer； and confessed to me roundly； that he had been
put upon this paltry practice by the severity and avarice of his father；
but that he was now so accustomed to it he could not leave it off。 And；
at that very time； he was trapped stealing a lady's rings； having come
into her chamber； as she was dressing with several others。 He put me in
mind of a story I had heard of another gentleman； so perfect and
accomplished in this fine trade in his youth； that； after he came to his
estate and resolved to give it over； he could not hold his hands；
nevertheless； if he passed by a shop where he saw anything he liked； from
catching it up； though it put him to the shame of sending afterwards to
pay for it。 And I have myself seen several so habituated to this quality
that even amongst their comrades they could not forbear filching； though
with intent to restore what they had taken。 I am a Gascon； and yet there
is no vice I so little understand as that； I hate it something more by
disposition than I condemn it by reason； I do not so much as desire
anything of another man's。 This province of ours is； in plain truth； a
little more decried than the other parts of the kingdom； and yet we have
several times seen； in our times； men of good families of other
provinces； in the hands of justice； convicted of abominable thefts。 I
fear this vice is； in some sort； to be attributed to the fore…mentioned
vice of the fathers。
And if