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Whether this was really so or not； it is certain that the train presented
an impenetrable front even to our imagination； and we left it to go its
way without the slightest effort to board。 We remounted the fame…worn
steps of Porter's Station； and began exploring North Cambridge for some
means of transportation overland to Concord； for we were that far on the
road by which the British went and came on the day of the battle。 The
liverymen whom we appealed to received us； some with compassion； some
with derision； but in either mood convinced us that we could not have
hired a cat to attempt our conveyance； much less a horse； or vehicle of
any description。 It was a raw； windy day； very unlike the exceptionally
hot April day when the routed redcoats； pursued by the Colonials； fled
panting back to Boston； with 〃their tongues hanging out like dogs；〃
but we could not take due comfort in the vision of their discomfiture；
we could almost envy them； for they had at least got to Concord。 A swift
procession of coaches； carriages； and buggies； all going to Concord；
passed us； inert and helpless； on the sidewalk in the peculiarly cold mud
of North Cambridge。 We began to wonder if we might not stop one of them
and bribe it to take us； but we had not the courage to try； and Clemens
seized the opportunity to begin suffering with an acute indigestion；
which gave his humor a very dismal cast。 I felt keenly the shame of
defeat； and the guilt of responsibility for our failure； and when a gay
party of students came toward us on the top of a tally ho； luxuriously
empty inside； we felt that our chance had come； and our last chance。
He said that if I would stop them and tell them who I was they would
gladly； perhaps proudly； give us passage； I contended that if with his
far vaster renown he would approach them； our success would be assured。
While we stood； lost in this 〃contest of civilities；〃 the coach passed
us； with gay notes blown from the horns of the students； and then Clemens
started in pursuit； encouraged with shouts from the merry party who could
not imagine who was trying to run them down； to a rivalry in speed。 The
unequal match could end only in one way； and I am glad I cannot recall
what he said when he came back to me。 Since then I have often wondered
at the grief which would have wrung those blithe young hearts if they
could have known that they might have had the company of Mark Twain to
Concord that day and did not。
We hung about； unavailingly； in the bitter wind a while longer； and then
slowly； very slowly； made our way home。 We wished to pass as much time
as possible； in order to give probability to the deceit we intended to
practise； for we could not bear to own ourselves baffled in our boasted
wisdom of taking the train at Porter's Station； and had agreed to say
that we had been to Concord and got back。 Even after coming home to my
house； we felt that our statement would be wanting in verisimilitude
without further delay； and we crept quietly into my library； and made up
a roaring fire on the hearth； and thawed ourselves out in the heat of it
before we regained our courage for the undertaking。 With all these
precautions we failed； for when our statement was imparted to the
proposed victim she instantly pronounced it unreliable； and we were left
with it on our hands intact。 I think the humor of this situation was
finally a greater pleasure to Clemens than an actual visit to Concord
would have been； only a few weeks before his death he laughed our defeat
over with one of my family in Bermuda； and exulted in our prompt
detection。
XI。
From our joint experience in failing I argue that Clemens's affection for
me must have been great to enable him to condone in me the final
defection which was apt to be the end of our enterprises。 I have fancied
that I presented to him a surface of such entire trustworthiness that he
could not imagine the depths of unreliability beneath it； and that never
realizing it； he always broke through with fresh surprise but unimpaired
faith。 He liked； beyond all things； to push an affair to the bitter end；
and the end was never too bitter unless it brought grief or harm to
another。 Once in a telegraph office at a railway station he was treated
with such insolent neglect by the young lady in charge； who was
preoccupied in a flirtation with a 〃gentleman friend；〃 that emulous of
the public spirit which he admired in the English； he told her he should
report her to her superiors； and （probably to her astonishment） he did
so。 He went back to Hartford； and in due time the poor girl came to me
in； terror and in tears； for I had abetted Clemens in his action； and had
joined my name to his in his appeal to the authorities。 She was
threatened with dismissal unless she made full apology to him and brought
back assurance of its acceptance。 I felt able to give this； and； of
course； he eagerly approved； I think he telegraphed his approval。
Another time； some years afterward； we sat down together in places near
the end of a car； and a brakeman came in looking for his official note…
book。 Clemens found that he had sat down upon it； and handed it to him；
the man scolded him very abusively； and came back again and again； still
scolding him for having no more sense than to sit down on a note…book。
The patience of Clemens in bearing it was so angelic that I saw fit to
comment； 〃I suppose you will report this fellow。〃 〃Yes；〃 he answered；
slowly and sadly。 〃 That's what I should have done once。 But now I
remember that he gets twenty dollars a month。〃
Nothing could have been wiser； nothing tenderer； and his humanity was
not for humanity alone。 He abhorred the dull and savage joy of the
sportsman in a lucky shot； an unerring aim； and once when I met him in
the country he had just been sickened by the success of a gunner in
bringing down a blackbird； and he described the poor； stricken； glossy
thing； how it lay throbbing its life out on the grass； with such pity as
he might have given a wounded child。 I find this a fit place to say that
his mind and soul were with those who do the hard work of the world； in
fear of those who give them a chance for their livelihoods and underpay
them all they can。 He never went so far in socialism as I have gone； if
he went that way at all； but he was fascinated with Looking Backward and
had Bellamy to visit him； and from the first he had a luminous vision of
organized labor as the only present help for working…men。 He would show
that side with such clearness and such force that you could not say
anything in hopeful contradiction； he saw with that relentless insight of
his that with Unions was the working…man's only present hope of standing
up like a man against money and the power of it。 There was a time when I
was afraid that his eves were a little holden from the truth； but in the
very last talk I heard from him I found that I was wrong； and that this
great humorist was as great a humanist as ever。 I wish that all the
work…folk could know this； and could know him their friend in life as he
was in literature； as he was in such a glorious gospel of equality as the
'Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court。'
XII。
Whether I will or no I must let things come into my story thoughtwise； as
he would have let them； for I cannot remember them in their order。 One
night； while we were giving a party； he suddenly stormed in with a friend
of his and mine； Mr。 Twichell； and immediately began to eat and drink of
our supper； for they had come straight to our house from walking to
Boston； or so great a part of the way as to be a…hungered and a…thirst。
I can see him now as he stood up in the midst of our friends； with his
head thrown back； and in his hand a dish of those escalloped oysters
without which no party in Cambridge was really a party； exulting in the
tale of his adventure； which had abounded in the most original characters
and amusing incidents at every mile of their progress。 They had broken
their journey with a night's rest； and they had helped themselves
lavishly out by rail in the last half； but still it had been a mighty
walk to do in two days。 Clemens was a great walker； in those years； and
was always telling of his tramps with Mr。 Twichell to Talcott's Tower；
ten miles out of Hartford。 As he walked of course he talked； and of
course he smoked。 Whenever he had been a few days with us； the whole
house had to be aired； for he smoked all over it from breakfast to
bedtime。 He always went to bed with a cigar in his mouth； and sometimes；
mindful of my fire insurance； I went up and took it away； still burning；
after he had fallen asleep。 I do not know how much a man may smoke and
live； but apparently he smoked as much as a man could； for he smoked
incessantly。
He did not care much to meet people； as I fancied； and we were greedy of
him for ourselves； he was precious to us； and I would not have exposed
him to the critical edge of that Cambridge acquaintance which might not
have appreciated him at； say； his transatlantic value。 In America his
popularity was as instant as it was vast。 But it must be acknowledged
that for a much long