按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
〃Then are you like me； my dear？〃 asked the marquise； 〃have you never
felt the emotion of love while trying to love？〃
〃Never；〃 replied the princess； laying her hand on the arm of her
friend。
They turned and seated themselves on a rustic bench beneath a jasmine
then coming into flower。 Each had uttered one of those sayings that
are solemn to women who have reached their age。
〃Like you；〃 resumed the princess； 〃I have received more love than most
women； but through all my many adventures； I have never found
happiness。 I committed great follies； but they had an object； and that
object retreated as fast as I approached it。 I feel to…day in my
heart； old as it is； an innocence which has never been touched。 Yes；
under all my experience； lies a first love intact；just as I myself；
in spite of all my losses and fatigues； feel young and beautiful。 We
may love and not be happy； we may be happy and never love； but to love
and be happy； to unite those two immense human experiences； is a
miracle。 That miracle has not taken place for me。〃
〃Nor for me；〃 said Madame d'Espard。
〃I own I am pursued in this retreat by dreadful regret： I have amused
myself all through life； but I have never loved。〃
〃What an incredible secret！〃 cried the marquise。
〃Ah！ my dear；〃 replied the princess； 〃such secrets we can tell to
ourselves； you and I； but nobody in Paris would believe us。〃
〃And；〃 said the marquise； 〃if we were not both over thirty…six years
of age； perhaps we would not tell them to each other。〃
〃Yes； when women are young they have so many stupid conceits；〃 replied
the princess。 〃We are like those poor young men who play with a
toothpick to pretend they have dined。〃
〃Well； at any rate； here we are！〃 said Madame d'Espard； with
coquettish grace； and a charming gesture of well…informed innocence；
〃and； it seems to me； sufficiently alive to think of taking our
revenge。〃
〃When you told me； the other day； that Beatrix had gone off with
Conti； I thought of it all night long；〃 said the princess； after a
pause。 〃I suppose there was happiness in sacrificing her position； her
future； and renouncing society forever。〃
〃She was a little fool；〃 said Madame d'Espard； gravely。 〃Mademoiselle
des Touches was delighted to get rid of Conti。 Beatrix never perceived
how that surrender； made by a superior woman who never for a moment
defended her claims； proved Conti's nothingness。〃
〃Then you think she will be unhappy？〃
〃She is so now；〃 replied Madame d'Espard。 〃Why did she leave her
husband？ What an acknowledgment of weakness！〃
〃Then you think that Madame de Rochefide was not influenced by the
desire to enjoy a true love in peace？〃 asked the princess。
〃No； she was simply imitating Madame de Beausant and Madame de
Langeais； who； be it said； between you and me； would have been； in a
less vulgar period than ours； the La Villiere； the Diane de Poitiers；
the Gabrielle d'Estrees of history。〃
〃Less the king； my dear。 Ah！ I wish I could evoke the shades of those
women； and ask them〃
〃But；〃 said the marquise； interrupting the princess； 〃why ask the
dead？ We know living women who have been happy。 I have talked on this
very subject a score of times with Madame de Montcornet since she
married that little Emile Blondet； who makes her the happiest woman in
the world； not an infidelity； not a thought that turns aside from her；
they are as happy as they were the first day。 These long attachments；
like that of Rastignac and Madame de Nucingen； and your cousin； Madame
de Camps； for her Octave； have a secret； and that secret you and I
don't know； my dear。 The world has paid us the extreme compliment of
thinking we are two rakes worthy of the court of the regent； whereas
we are； in truth； as innocent as a couple of school…girls。〃
〃I should like that sort of innocence；〃 cried the princess； laughing；
〃but ours is worse； and it is very humiliating。 Well； it is a
mortification we offer up in expiation of our fruitless search； yes；
my dear； fruitless； for it isn't probable we shall find in our autumn
season the fine flower we missed in the spring and summer。〃
〃That's not the question；〃 resumed the marquise； after a meditative
pause。 〃We are both still beautiful enough to inspire love； but we
could never convince any one of our innocence and virtue。〃
〃If it were a lie； how easy to dress it up with commentaries； and
serve it as some delicious fruit to be eagerly swallowed！ But how is
it possible to get a truth believed？ Ah！ the greatest of men have been
mistaken there！〃 added the princess； with one of those meaning smiles
which the pencil of Leonardo da Vinci alone has rendered。
〃Fools love well； sometimes；〃 returned the marquise。
〃But in this case；〃 said the princess； 〃fools wouldn't have enough
credulity in their nature。〃
〃You are right；〃 said the marquise。 〃But what we ought to look for is
neither a fool nor even a man of talent。 To solve our problem we need
a man of genius。 Genius alone has the faith of childhood； the religion
of love； and willingly allows us to band its eyes。 Look at Canalis and
the Duchesse de Chaulieu！ Though we have both encountered men of
genius； they were either too far removed from us or too busy； and we
too absorbed； too frivolous。〃
〃Ah！ how I wish I might not leave this world without knowing the
happiness of true love；〃 exclaimed the princess。
〃It is nothing to inspire it；〃 said Madame d'Espard； 〃the thing is to
feel it。 I see many women who are only the pretext for a passion
without being both its cause and its effect。〃
〃The last love I inspired was a beautiful and sacred thing；〃 said the
princess。 〃It had a future in it。 Chance had brought me； for once in a
way； the man of genius who is due to us； and yet so difficult to
obtain； there are more pretty women than men of genius。 But the devil
interfered with the affair。〃
〃Tell me about it； my dear； this is all news to me。〃
〃I first noticed this beautiful passion about the middle of the winter
of 1829。 Every Friday； at the opera； I observed a young man； about
thirty years of age； in the orchestra stalls； who evidently came there
for me。 He was always in the same stall； gazing at me with eyes of
fire； but； seemingly； saddened by the distance between us； perhaps by
the hopelessness of reaching me。〃
〃Poor fellow！ When a man loves he becomes eminently stupid；〃 said the
marquise。
〃Between every act he would slip into the corridor；〃 continued the
princess； smiling at her friend's epigrammatic remark。 〃Once or twice；
either to see me or to make me see him； he looked through the glass
sash of the box exactly opposite to mine。 If I received a visit； I was
certain to see him in the corridor close to my door； casting a furtive
glance upon me。 He had apparently learned to know the persons
belonging to my circle； and he followed them when he saw them turning
in the direction of my box； in order to obtain the benefit of the
opening door。 I also found my mysterious adorer at the Italian opera…
house； there he had a stall directly opposite to my box； where he
could gaze at me in naive ecstasyoh！ it was pretty！ On leaving
either house I always found him planted in the lobby； motionless； he
was elbowed and jostled； but he never moved。 His eyes grew less
brilliant if he saw me on the arm of some favorite。 But not a word；
not a letter； no demonstration。 You must acknowledge that was in good
taste。 Sometimes； on getting home late at night； I found him sitting
upon one of the stone posts of the porte…cochere。 This lover of mine
had very handsome eyes； a long； thick； fan…shaped beard； with a
moustache and side…whiskers； nothing could be seen of his skin but his
white cheek…bones； and a noble forehead； it was truly an antique head。
The prince； as you know； defended the Tuileries on the riverside；
during the July days。 He returned to Saint…Cloud that night； when all
was lost； and said to me： 'I came near being killed at four o'clock。 I
was aimed at by one of the insurgents； when a young man； with a long
beard； whom I have often seen at the opera； and who was leading the
attack； threw up the man's gun； and saved me。' So my adorer was
evidently a republican！ In 1831； after I came to lodge in this house；
I found him； one day； leaning with his back against the wall of it； he
seemed pleased with my disasters； possibly he may have thought they
drew us nearer together。 But after the affair of Saint…Merri I saw him
no more； he was killed there。 The evening before the funeral of
General Lamarque； I had gone out on foot with my son； and my
republican accompanied us； sometimes behind； sometimes in front； from
the Madeleine to the Passage des Panoramas； where I was going。〃
〃Is that all？〃 asked the marquise。
〃Yes； all；〃 replied the princess。 〃Except that on the morning Saint…
Merri was taken； a gamin came here and insisted on