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hurt her。
〃What's at the bottom of your mind; Thea?〃 he asked
hurriedly。 〃I can't tell。 Why do you consider it at all; if
you're not sure? Why are you here with me now?〃
Her face was half…averted。 He was thinking that it
looked older and more firmalmost hardunder a veil。
〃Isn't it possible to do things without having any very
clear reason?〃 she asked slowly。 〃I have no plan in the
back of my mind。 Now that I'm with you; I want to be
with you; that's all。 I can't settle down to being alone
again。 I am here to…day because I want to be with you
to…day。〃 She paused。 〃One thing; though; if I gave you
my word; I'd keep it。 And you could hold me; though you
don't seem to think so。 Maybe I'm not sentimental; but
I'm not very light; either。 If I went off with you like
this; it wouldn't be to amuse myself。〃
Ottenburg's eyes fell。 His lips worked nervously for a
moment。 〃Do you mean that you really care for me; Thea
Kronborg?〃 he asked unsteadily。
〃I guess so。 It's like anything else。 It takes hold of you
and you've got to go through with it; even if you're afraid。
I was afraid to leave Moonstone; and afraid to leave
Harsanyi。 But I had to go through with it。〃
〃And are you afraid now?〃 Fred asked slowly。
〃Yes; more than I've ever been。 But I don't think I
could go back。 The past closes up behind one; somehow。
One would rather have a new kind of misery。 The old
kind seems like death or unconsciousness。 You can't force
your life back into that mould again。 No; one can't go
back。〃 She rose and stood by the back grating of the
platform; her hand on the brass rail。
Fred went to her side。 She pushed up her veil and turned
her most glowing face to him。 Her eyes were wet and
there were tears on her lashes; but she was smiling the
rare; whole…hearted smile he had seen once or twice be…
fore。 He looked at her shining eyes; her parted lips; her
chin a little lifted。 It was as if they were colored by a sun…
rise he could not see。 He put his hand over hers and clasped
it with a strength she felt。 Her eyelashes trembled; her
mouth softened; but her eyes were still brilliant。
〃Will you always be like you were down there; if I go
with you?〃 she asked under her breath。
His fingers tightened on hers。 〃By God; I will!〃 he
muttered。
〃That's the only promise I'll ask you for。 Now go away
for a while and let me think about it。 Come back at lunch…
time and I'll tell you。 Will that do?〃
〃Anything will do; Thea; if you'll only let me keep
an eye on you。 The rest of the world doesn't interest me
much。 You've got me in deep。〃
Fred dropped her hand and turned away。 As he glanced
back from the front end of the observation car; he saw that
she was still standing there; and any one would have known
that she was brooding over something。 The earnestness of
her head and shoulders had a certain nobility。 He stood
looking at her for a moment。
When he reached the forward smoking…car; Fred took a
seat at the end; where he could shut the other passengers
from his sight。 He put on his traveling…cap and sat down
wearily; keeping his head near the window。 〃In any case;
I shall help her more than I shall hurt her;〃 he kept saying
to himself。 He admitted that this was not the only motive
which impelled him; but it was one of them。 〃I'll make it
my business in life to get her on。 There's nothing else I
care about so much as seeing her have her chance。 She
hasn't touched her real force yet。 She isn't even aware of
it。 Lord; don't I know something about them? There isn't
one of them that has such a depth to draw from。 She'll be
one of the great artists of our time。 Playing accompani…
ments for that cheese…faced sneak! I'll get her off to Ger…
many this winter; or take her。 She hasn't got any time to
waste now。 I'll make it up to her; all right。〃
Ottenburg certainly meant to make it up to her; in so
far as he could。 His feeling was as generous as strong human
feelings are likely to be。 The only trouble was; that he was
married already; and had been since he was twenty。
His older friends in Chicago; people who had been friends
of his family; knew of the unfortunate state of his personal
affairs; but they were people whom in the natural course
of things Thea Kronborg would scarcely meet。 Mrs。
Frederick Ottenburg lived in California; at Santa Bar…
bara; where her health was supposed to be better than
elsewhere; and her husband lived in Chicago。 He visited
his wife every winter to reinforce her position; and his
devoted mother; although her hatred for her daughter…in…
law was scarcely approachable in words; went to Santa
Barbara every year to make things look better and to
relieve her son。
When Frederick Ottenburg was beginning his junior year
at Harvard; he got a letter from Dick Brisbane; a Kansas
City boy he knew; telling him that his FIANCEE; Miss Edith
Beers; was going to New York to buy her trousseau。 She
would be at the Holland House; with her aunt and a girl
from Kansas City who was to be a bridesmaid; for two
weeks or more。 If Ottenburg happened to be going down
to New York; would he call upon Miss Beers and 〃show
her a good time〃?
Fred did happen to be going to New York。 He was going
down from New Haven; after the Thanksgiving game。 He
called on Miss Beers and found her; as he that night tele…
graphed Brisbane; a 〃ripping beauty; no mistake。〃 He
took her and her aunt and her uninteresting friend to the
theater and to the opera; and he asked them to lunch with
him at the Waldorf。 He took no little pains in arranging
the luncheon with the head waiter。 Miss Beers was the
sort of girl with whom a young man liked to seem experi…
enced。 She was dark and slender and fiery。 She was witty
and slangy; said daring things and carried them off with
NONCHALANCE。 Her childish extravagance and contempt for
all the serious facts of life could be charged to her father's
generosity and his long packing…house purse。 Freaks that
would have been vulgar and ostentatious in a more simple…
minded girl; in Miss Beers seemed whimsical and pictur…
esque。 She darted about in magnificent furs and pumps
and close…clinging gowns; though that was the day of full
skirts。 Her hats were large and floppy。 When she wrig…
gled out of her moleskin coat at luncheon; she looked like
a slim black weasel。 Her satin dress was a mere sheath; so
conspicuous by its severity and scantness that every one in
the dining…room stared。 She ate nothing but alligator…pear
salad and hothouse grapes; drank a little champagne; and
took cognac in her coffee。 She ridiculed; in the raciest
slang; the singers they had heard at the opera the night
before; and when her aunt pretended to reprove her; she
murmured indifferently; 〃What's the matter with you;
old sport?〃 She rattled on with a subdued loquacious…
ness; always keeping her voice low and monotonous;
always looking out of the corner of her eye and speaking;
as it were; in asides; out of the corner of her mouth。 She
was scornful of everything;which became her eyebrows。
Her face was mobile and discontented; her eyes quick
and black。 There was a sort of smouldering fire about
her; young Ottenburg thought。 She entertained him pro…
digiously。
After luncheon Miss Beers said she was going uptown to
be fitted; and that she would go alone because her aunt
made her nervous。 When Fred held her coat for her; she
murmured; 〃Thank you; Alphonse;〃 as if she were address…
ing the waiter。 As she stepped into a hansom; with a long
stretch of thin silk stocking; she said negligently; over her
fur collar; 〃Better let me take you along and drop you
somewhere。〃 He sprang in after her; and she told the driver
to go to the Park。
It was a bright winter day; and bitterly cold。 Miss Beers
asked Fred to tell her about the game at New Haven; and
when he did so paid no attention to what he said。 She
sank back into the hansom and held her muff before her