the research magnificent-第16章

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。　。　。　。　〃Yes；　I　am　going　on。　　Of　course　I'm　going　on。　　Thank　you。〃　He　beckoned　to　the　man　who　had　held　the　horse　and　handed　him　half…a…　crown。　　He　glanced　at　Prothero　as　one　might　glance　at　a　stranger。　〃Check！〃　he　said。　　The　horse　went　on　gravely。　　Benham　lifted　out　his　whip。　　He　appeared　to　have　clean　forgotten　Prothero。　　Perhaps　presently　he　would　miss　him。　　He　went　on　past　Trinity；　past　the　ruddy　brick　of　St。　John's。　　The　curve　of　the　street　hid　him　from　Prothero's　eyes。　Prothero　started　in　pursuit。　　He　glimpsed　the　dog…cart　turning　into　Bridge　Street。　　He　had　an　impression　that　Benham　used　the　whip　at　the　corner；　and　that　the　dog…cart　went　forward　out　of　sight　with　a　startled　jerk。　　Prothero　quickened　his　pace。　But　when　he　got　to　the　fork　between　the　Huntingdon　Road　and　the　Cottenham　Road；　both　roads　were　clear。　He　spent　some　time　in　hesitation。　　Then　he　went　along　the　Huntingdon　Road　until　he　came　upon　a　road…mender；　and　learnt　that　Benham　had　passed　that　way。　　〃Going　pretty　fast　‘e　was；〃　said　the　road…mender；　〃and　whipping　‘is　‘orse。　　Else　you　might　‘a　thought　‘e　was　a　boltin'　with　‘im。〃　　Prothero　decided　that　if　Benham　came　back　at　all　he　would　return　by　way　of　Cottenham；　and　it　was　on　the　Cottenham　Road　that　at　last　he　encountered　his　friend　again。　Benham　was　coming　along　at　that　good　pace　which　all　experienced　horses　when　they　are　fairly　turned　back　towards　Cambridge　display。　And　there　was　something　odd　about　Benham；　as　though　he　had　a　large　circular　halo　with　a　thick　rim。　　This；　it　seemed；　had　replaced　his　hat。　　He　was　certainly　hatless。　　The　warm　light　of　the　sinking　sun　shone　upon　the　horse　and　upon　Benham's　erect　figure　and　upon　his　face；　and　gleams　of　fire　kept　flashing　from　his　head　to　this　rim；　like　the　gleam　of　drawn　swords　seen　from　afar。　　As　he　drew　nearer　this　halo　detached　itself　from　him　and　became　a　wheel　sticking　up　behind　him。　　A　large；　clumsy…looking　bicycle　was　attached　to　the　dog…cart　behind。　　The　expression　of　Benham's　golden　face　was　still　a　stony　expression；　he　regarded　his　friend　with　hard　eyes。　〃You　all　right；　Benham？〃　cried　Prothero；　advancing　into　the　road。　His　eye　examined　the　horse。　　It　looked　all　right；　if　anything　it　was　a　trifle　subdued；　there　was　a　little　foam　about　its　mouth；　but　not　very　much。　〃Whoa！〃　said　Benham；　and　the　horse　stopped。　　〃Are　you　coming　up；　Prothero？〃　Prothero　clambered　up　beside　him。　　〃I　was　anxious；〃　he　said。　〃There　was　no　need　to　be。〃　〃You've　broken　your　whip。〃　〃Yes。　　It　broke。　。　。　。　　GET　up！〃　They　proceeded　on　their　way　to　Cambridge。　〃Something　has　happened　to　the　wheel；〃　said　Prothero；　trying　to　be　at　his　ease。　〃Merely　a　splinter　or　so。　　And　a　spoke　perhaps。〃　〃And　what　is　this　behind？〃　Benham　made　a　half…turn　of　the　head。　　〃It's　a　motor…bicycle。〃　Prothero　took　in　details。　〃Some　of　it　is　missing。〃　〃No；　the　front　wheel　is　under　the　seat。〃　〃Oh！〃　〃Did　you　find　it？〃　Prothero　asked；　after　an　interval。　〃You　mean？〃　〃He　ran　into　a　motor…caras　I　was　passing。　　I　was　perhaps　a　little　to　blame。　　He　asked　me　to　bring　his　machine　to　Cambridge。　　He　went　on　in　the　car。　。　。　。　　It　is　all　perfectly　simple。〃　Prothero　glanced　at　the　splinters　in　the　wheel　with　a　renewed　interest。　〃Did　your　wheel　get　into　it？〃　he　asked。　　Benham　affected　not　to　hear。　　He　was　evidently　in　no　mood　for　story…telling。　〃Why　did　you　get　down；　Prothero？〃　he　asked　abruptly；　with　the　note　of　suppressed　anger　thickening　his　voice。　Prothero　became　vividly　red。　　〃I　don't　know；〃　he　said；　after　an　interval。　〃I　DO；〃　said　Benham；　and　they　went　on　in　a　rich　and　active　silence　to　Cambridge；　and　the　bicycle　repair　shop　in　Bridge　Street；　and　Trinity　College。　　At　the　gate　of　Trinity　Benham　stopped；　and　conveyed　rather　by　acts　than　words　that　Prothero　was　to　descend。　　He　got　down　meekly　enough；　although　he　felt　that　the　return　to　Maltby's　yard　might　have　many　points　of　interest。　　But　the　spirit　had　gone　out　of　him。

12

For　three　days　the　two　friends　avoided　each　other；　and　then　Prothero　went　to　Benham's　room。　　Benham　was　smoking　cigarettesLady　Marayne；　in　the　first　warmth　of　his　filial　devotion；　had　prohibited　his　pipe　and　reading　Webb's　INDUSTRIAL　DEMOCRACY。　　〃Hello！〃　he　said　coldly；　scarcely　looking　up；　and　continued　to　read　that　absorbing　work。　〃I　keep　on　thinking　how　I　jumped　down　from　that　damned　dog…cart；〃　said　Prothero；　without　any　preface。　〃It　didn't　matter　in　the　least；〃　said　Benham　distantly。　〃Oh！　　ROT；〃　said　Prothero。　　〃I　behaved　like　a　coward。〃　Benham　shut　his　book。　〃Benham；〃　said　Prothero。　　〃You　are　right　about　aristocracy；　and　I　am　wrong。　　I've　been　thinking　about　it　night　and　day。〃　Benham　betrayed　no　emotion。　　But　his　tone　changed。　　〃Billy；〃　he　said；　〃there　are　cigarettes　and　whiskey　in　the　corner。　　Don't　make　a　fuss　about　a　trifle。〃　〃No　whiskey；〃　said　Billy；　and　lit　a　cigarette。　　〃And　it　isn't　a　trifle。〃　He　came　to　Benham's　hearthrug。　　〃That　business；〃　he　said；　〃has　changed　all　my　views。　　Nodon't　say　something　polite！　　I　see　that　if　one　hasn't　the　habit　of　pride　one　is　bound　to　get　off　a　dogcart　when　it　seems　likely　to　smash。　　You　have　the　habit　of　pride；　and　I　haven't。　　So　far　as　the　habit　of　pride　goes；　I　come　over　to　the　theory　of　aristocracy。〃　Benham　said　nothing；　but　he　put　down　Sidney　and　Beatrice　Webb；　and　reached　out　for　and　got　and　lit　a　cigarette。　〃I　give　up　‘Go　as　you　please。'　　I　give　up　the　natural　man。　　I　admit　training。　　I　perceive　I　am　lax　and　flabby；　unguarded；　I　funk　too　much；　I　eat　too　much；　and　I　drink　too　much。　　And；　yet；　what　I　have　always　liked　in　you；　Benham；　is　just　thisthat　you　don't。〃　〃I　do；〃　said　Benham。　〃Do　what？〃　〃Funk。〃　〃Benham；　I　believe　that　naturally　you　funk　as　much　as　I　do。　　You're　more　a　thing　of　nerves　than　I　am；　far　more。　　But　you　keep　yourself　up　to　the　mark；　and　I　have　let　myself　get　flabby。　　You're　so　right。　You're　so　utterly　right。　　These　last　nights　I've　confessed　it　aloud。　　I　had　an　inkling　of　itafter　that　rag。　　But　now　it's　as　clear　as　daylight。　　I　don't　know　if　you　mean　to　go　on　with　me；　after　what's　happened；　but　anyhow　I　want　you　to　know；　whether　you　end　our　friendship　or　not　〃　〃Billy；　don't　be　an　old　ass；〃　said　Benham。　Both　young　men　paused　for　a　moment。　　They　made　no　demonstrations。　But　the　strain　was　at　an　end　between　them。　〃I've　thought　it　all　out；〃　Billy　went　on　with　a　sudden　buoyancy。　〃We　two　are　both　of　the　same　kind　of　men。　　Only　you　see；　Benham；　you　have　a　natural　pride　and　I　haven't。　　You　have　pride。　　But　we　are　both　intellectuals。　　We　both　belong　to　what　the　Russians　call　the　Intelligentsia。　　We　have　ideas；　we　have　imagination；　that　is　our　strength。　　And　that　is　our　weakness。　　That　makes　us　moral　light…　weights。　　We　are　flimsy　and　uncertain　people。　　All　intellectuals　are　flimsy　and　uncertain　people。　　It's　not　only　that　they　are　critical　and　fastidious；　they　are　weak…handed。　　They　look　about　them；　their　attention　wanders。　　Unless　they　have　got　a　habit　of　controlling　themselves　and　forcing　themselves　and　holding　themselves　together。〃　〃The　habit　of　pride。〃　〃Yes。　　And　thenthen　we　are　lords　of　the　world。〃　〃All　this；　Billy；〃　said　Benham；　〃I　steadfastly　believe。〃　〃I've　seen　it　all　now；〃　said　Prothero。　　〃Lord！　how　clearly　I　see　it！　The　intellectual　is　either　a　prince　or　he　is　a　Greek　slave　in　a　Roman　household。　　He's　got　to　hold　his　chin　up　or　else　he　becomes　even　as　these　dons　we　see　about　usa　thing　that　talks　appointments；　a　toady；　a　port…wine　bibber；　a　mass　of　detail；　a　conscious　maker　of　neat　sayings；　a　growing　belly　under　a　dwindling　brain。　　Their　gladness　is　drink　or　gratified　vanity　or　gratified　malice；　their　sorrow　is　indigestion　orold　maid's　melancholy。　　They　are　the　lords　of　the　world　who　will　not　take　the　sceptre。　。　。　。　　And　what　I　want　to　say　to　you；　Benham；　more　than　anything　else　is；　YOU　go　onYOU　make　yourself　equestrian。　　You　drive　your　horse　against　Breeze's；　and　go　through　the　fire　and　swim　in　the　ice…cold　water　and　climb　the　precipice　and　drink　little　and　sleep　hard。　　AndI　wish　I　could　do　so　too。〃　〃But　why　not？〃　〃Because　I　can't。　　Now　I　admit　I've　got　shame　in　my　heart　and　pride　in　my　head；　and　I'm　strung　up。　　I　might　do　somethingthis　afternoon。　　But　it　won't　last。　　YOUyou　have　pride　in　your　bones。　My　pride　will　vanish　at　a　laugh。　　My　honour　will　go　at　a　laugh。　　I'm　just　exalted　by　a　crisis。　　That's　all。　　I'm　an　animal　of　intelligence。　　Soul　and　pride　are　weak　in　me。　　My　mouth　waters；　my　cheek　brightens；　at　the　sight　of　good　things。　　And　I've　got　a　lickerish　tail；　Benham。　　You　don't　know。　　You　don't　begin　to　imagine。　　I'm　secretive。　　But　I　quiver　with　hot　and　stirring　desires。　　And　I'm　indolentdirty　indolent。　　Benham；　there　are　days　when　I　splash　my　bath　about　without　getting　into　it。　　There　are　days　when　I　turn　back　from　a　walk　because　there's　a　cow　in　the　field。　。　。　。　But；　I　spare　you　the　viler　details。　。　。　。　　And　it's　that　makes　me　hate　fine　people　and　try　so　earnestly　to　persuade　myself　that　any　man　is　as　good　as　any　man；　if　not　a　trifle　better。　　Because　I　know　it　isn't　so。　。　。　。〃　〃Billy；〃　said　Benham；　〃you've　the　boldest　mind　that　ever　I　met。〃　Prothero's　face　lit　with　satisfaction。　　Then　his　countenance　fell　again。　　〃I　know　I'm　better　there；〃　he　said；　〃and　yet；　see　how　I　let　in　a　whole　system　of　lies　to　cover　my　secret　humiliations。　　There；　at　least；　I　will　cling　to　pride。　　I　will　at　least　THINK　free　and　clean　and　high。　　But　you　can　cli