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heirs； I said a prayer； which I had conned most carefully； and which I thought the most suitable I could devise； in unison with Christian principles； which are averse to the shedding of blood； and I particularly dwelt upon some of the specialities of our situation。
When I had concluded； the volunteers gave three great shouts； and the multitude answered them to the same tune； and all the instruments of music sounded； making such a bruit as could not be surpassed for grandeura long； and very circumstantial account of all which； may be read in the newspapers of that time。
The volunteers； at the word of command； then showed us the way they were to fight with the French； in the doing of which a sad disaster happened； for when they were charging bayonets； they came towards us like a flood； and all the spectators ran； and I ran； and the doctor ran； but being laden with his belly； he could not run fast enough； so he lay down； and being just before me at the time； I tumbled over him； and such a shout of laughter shook the field as was never heard。
When the fatigues of the day were at an end； we marched to the cotton…mill； where； in one of the ware…houses； a vast table was spread； and a dinner； prepared at Mr Cayenne's own expense； sent in from the Cross…Keys； and the whole corps； with many of the gentry of the neighbourhood； dined with great jollity； the band of music playing beautiful airs all the time。 At night there was a universal dance； gentle and semple mingled together。 All which made it plain to me； that the Lord； by this unison of spirit； had decreed our national preservation； but I kept this in my own breast； lest it might have the effect to relax the vigilance of the kingdom。 And I should note that Colin Mavis； the poetical lad； of whom I have spoken in another part； made a song for this occasion that was very mightily thought of； having in it a nerve of valiant genius； that kindled the very souls of those that heard it。
CHAPTER XLV YEAR 1804
In conformity with the altered fashions of the age； in this year the session came to an understanding with me； that we should not inflict the common church censures for such as made themselves liable thereto； but we did not formally promulge our resolution as to this； wishing as long as possible to keep the deterring rod over the heads of the young and thoughtless。 Our motive； on the one hand； was the disregard of the manufacturers in Cayenneville； who were； without the breach of truth； an irreligious people； and； on the other； a desire to preserve the ancient and wholesome admonitory and censorian jurisdiction of the minister and elders。 We therefore laid it down as a rule to ourselves； that； in the case of transgressions on the part of the inhabitants of the new district of Cayenneville； we should subject them rigorously to a fine； but that for the farming…lads； we would put it in their option to pay the fine； or stand in the kirk。
We conformed also in another matter to the times； by consenting to baptize occasionally in private houses。 Hitherto it had been a strict rule with me only to baptize from the pulpit。 Other parishes； however； had long been in the practice of this relaxation of ancient discipline。
But all this on my part； was not done without compunction of spirit； for I was of opinion； that the principle of Presbyterian integrity should have been maintained to the uttermost。 Seeing； however； the elders set on an alteration； I distrusted my own judgment； and yielded myself to the considerations that weighed with them； for they were true men； and of a godly honesty； and took the part of the poor in all contentions with the heritors； often to the hazard and damage of their own temporal welfare。
I have now to note a curious thing； not on account of its importance； but to show to what lengths a correspondence had been opened in the parish with the farthest parts of the earth。 Mr Cayenne got a turtle…fish sent to him from a Glasgow merchant； and it was living when it came to the Wheatrig House； and was one of the most remarkable beasts that had ever been seen in our country side。 It weighed as much as a well…fed calf； and had three kinds of meat in its body； fish； flesh； and fowl； and it had four water…wings； for they could not be properly called fins； but what was little short of a miracle about the creature； happened after the head was cutted off； when； if a finger was offered to it； it would open its mouth and snap at it； and all this after the carcass was divided for dressing。
Mr Cayenne made a feast on the occasion to many of the neighbouring gentry； to the which I was invited； and we drank lime…punch as we ate the turtle； which； as I understand； is the fashion in practice among the Glasgow West Indy merchants； who are famed as great hands with turtles and lime…punch。 But it is a sort of food that I should not like to fare long upon。 I was not right the next day； and I have heard it said； that when eaten too often； it has a tendency to harden the heart and make it crave for greater luxuries。
But the story of the turtle is nothing to that of the Mass； which； with all its mummeries and abominations； was brought into Cayenneville by an Irish priest of the name of Father O'Grady； who was confessor to some of the poor deluded Irish labourers about the new houses and the cotton…mill。 How he had the impudence to set up that memento of Satan； the crucifix； within my parish and jurisdiction； was what I never could get to the bottom of； but the soul was shaken within me； when； on the Monday after； one of the elders came to the manse； and told me that the old dragon of Popery； with its seven heads and ten horns； had been triumphing in Cayenneville on the foregoing Lord's day！ I lost no time in convening the session to see what was to be done； much； however； to my surprise； the elders recommended no step to be taken； but only a zealous endeavour to greater Christian excellence on our part； by which we should put the beast and his worshippers to shame and flight。 I am free to confess； that； at the time； I did not think this the wisest counsel which they might have given； for； in the heat of my alarm； I was for attacking the enemy in his camp。 But they prudently observed； that the days of religious persecution were past； and it was a comfort to see mankind cherishing any sense of religion at all； after the vehement infidelity that had been sent abroad by the French Republicans； and to this opinion； now that I have had years to sift its wisdom； I own myself a convert and proselyte。
Fortunately； however； for my peace of mind； there proved to be but five Roman Catholics in Cayenneville； and Father O'Grady not being able to make a living there； packed up his Virgin Marys； saints； and painted Agneses in a portmanteau； and went off in the Ayr fly one morning for Glasgow； where I hear he has since met with all the encouragement that might be expected from the ignorant and idolatrous inhabitants of that great city。
Scarcely were we well rid of Father O'Grady； when another interloper entered the parish。 He was more dangerous； in the opinion of the session； than even the Pope of Rome himself； for he came to teach the flagrant heresy of Universal Redemption； a most consolatory doctrine to the sinner that is loth to repent； and who loves to troll his iniquity like a sweet morsel under his tongue。 Mr Martin Siftwell； who was the last ta'en on elder； and who had received a liberal and judicious education； and was； moreover； naturally possessed of a quick penetration； observed； in speaking of this new doctrine； that the grossest papist sinner might have some qualms of fear after he had bought the Pope's pardon； and might thereby be led to a reformation of life； but that the doctrine of universal redemption was a bribe to commit sin； the wickedest mortal； according to it； being only liable to a few thousand years； more or less； of suffering； which； compared with eternity； was but a momentary pang； like having a tooth drawn for the toothache。 Mr Siftwell is a shrewd and clear…seeing man in points of theology； and I would trust a great deal to what he says； as I have not； at my advanced age； such a mind for the kittle crudities of polemical investigation that I had in my younger years； especially when I was a student in the Divinity Hall of Glasgow。
It will be seen from all I have herein recorded； that； in the course of this year； there was a general resuscitation of religious sentiments； for what happened in my parish was but a type and index to the rest of the world。 We had； however； one memorable that must stand by itself； for although neither death nor bloodshed happened； yet was it cause of the fear of both。
A rumour reached us from the Clyde； that a French man…of…war had appeared in a Highland loch； and that all the Greenock volunteers had embarked in merchant vessels to bring her in for a prize。 Our volunteers were just jumping and yowling； like chained dogs； to be at her too； but the colonel； Sir Hugh； would do nothing without orders from his superiors。 Mr Cayenne； though an aged man above seventy； was as bold as a lion； and came forth in the old garb of an American huntsman； like； as I was told； a Robin Hood in the play is； and it was just