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He seemed to grow drowsy with exhaustion； and lay quietly for a
long time。 Christophe came back； and Rastignac； thinking that
Goriot was asleep； allowed the man to give his story aloud。
〃First of all； sir； I went to Madame la Comtesse；〃 he said； 〃but
she and her husband were so busy that I couldn't get to speak to
her。 When I insisted that I must see her； M。 de Restaud came out
to me himself； and went on like this： 'M。 Goriot is dying； is he？
Very well； it is the best thing he can do。 I want Mme。 de Restaud
to transact some important business； when it is all finished she
can go。' The gentleman looked angry； I thought。 I was just going
away when Mme。 de Restaud came out into an ante…chamber through a
door that I did not notice； and said； 'Christophe； tell my father
that my husband wants me to discuss some matters with him； and I
cannot leave the house； the life or death of my children is at
stake； but as soon as it is over； I will come。' As for Madame la
Baronne； that is another story！ I could not speak to her either；
and I did not even see her。 Her waiting…woman said； 'Ah yes； but
madame only came back from a ball at a quarter to five this
morning； she is asleep now； and if I wake her before mid…day she
will be cross。 As soon as she rings； I will go and tell her that
her father is worse。 It will be time enough then to tell her bad
news！' I begged and I prayed； but； there！ it was no good。 Then I
asked for M。 le Baron； but he was out。〃
〃To think that neither of his daughters should come！〃 exclaimed
Rastignac。 〃I will write to them both。〃
〃Neither of them！〃 cried the old man； sitting upright in bed。
〃They are busy； they are asleep； they will not come！ I knew that
they would not。 Not until you are dying do you know your
children。 。 。 。 Oh！ my friend； do not marry； do not have
children！ You give them life； they give you your deathblow。 You
bring them into the world； and they send you out of it。 No； they
will not come。 I have known that these ten years。 Sometimes I
have told myself so； but I did not dare to believe it。〃
The tears gathered and stood without overflowing the red sockets。
〃Ah！ if I were rich still； if I had kept my money； if I had not
given all to them； they would be with me now； they would fawn on
me and cover my cheeks with their kisses！ I should be living in a
great mansion； I should have grand apartments and servants and a
fire in my room； and THEY would be about me all in tears； and
their husbands and their children。 I should have had all that；
nowI have nothing。 Money brings everything to you； even your
daughters。 My money。 Oh！ where is my money？ If I had plenty of
money to leave behind me； they would nurse me and tend me； I
should hear their voices； I should see their faces。 Ah； God！ who
knows？ They both of them have hearts of stone。 I loved them too
much； it was not likely that they should love me。 A father ought
always to be rich； he ought to keep his children well in hand；
like unruly horses。 I have gone down on my knees to them。
Wretches！ this is the crowning act that brings the last ten years
to a proper close。 If you but knew how much they made of me just
after they were married。 （Oh！ this is cruel torture！） I had just
given them each eight hundred thousand francs； they were bound to
be civil to me after that； and their husbands too were civil。 I
used to go to their houses： it was 'My kind father' here； 'My
dear father' there。 There was always a place for me at their
tables。 I used to dine with their husbands now and then； and they
were very respectful to me。 I was still worth something； they
thought。 How should they know？ I had not said anything about my
affairs。 It is worth while to be civil to a man who has given his
daughters eight hundred thousand francs apiece； and they showed
me every attention thenbut it was all for my money。 Grand
people are not great。 I found that out by experience！ I went to
the theatre with them in their carriage； I might stay as long as
I cared to stay at their evening parties。 In fact； they
acknowleged me their father； publicly they owned that they were
my daughters。 But I was always a shrewd one； you see； and nothing
was lost upon me。 Everything went straight to the mark and
pierced my heart。 I saw quite well that it was all sham and
pretence； but there is no help for such things as these。 I felt
less at my ease at their dinner…table than I did downstairs here。
I had nothing to say for myself。 So these grand folks would ask
in my son…in…law's ear； 'Who may that gentleman be？''The
father…in…law with the money bags； he is very rich。''The devil；
e is！' they would say； and look again at me with the respect due
to my money。 Well； if I was in the way sometimes； I paid dearly
for my mistakes。 And besides； who is perfect？ （My head is one
sore！） Dear Monsieur Eugene； I am suffering so now； that a man
might die of the pain； but it is nothing to be compared with the
pain I endured when Anastasie made me feel； for the first time；
that I had said something stupid。 She looked at me； and that
glance of hers opened all my veins。 I used to want to know
everything； to be learned； and one thing I did learn thoroughly
I knew that I was not wanted here on earth。
〃The next day I went to Delphine for comfort； and what should I
do there but make some stupid blunder that made her angry with
me。 I was like one driven out of his senses。 For a week I did not
know what to do； I did not dare to go to see them for fear they
should reproach me。 And that was how they both turned me out of
the house。
〃Oh God！ Thou knowest all the misery and anguish that I have
endured； Thou hast counted all the wounds that have been dealt to
me in these years that have aged and changed me and whitened my
hair and drained my life； why dost Thou make me to suffer so to…
day？ Have I not more than expiated the sin of loving them too
much？ They themselves have been the instruments of vengeance；
they have tortured me for my sin of affection。
〃Ah； well！ fathers know no better； I loved them so； I went back
to them as a gambler goes to the gaming table。 This love was my
vice； you see； my mistressthey were everything in the world to
me。 They were always wanting something or other； dresses and
ornaments； and what not； their maids used to tell me what they
wanted； and I used to give them the things for the sake of the
welcome that they bought for me。 But； at the same time； they used
to give me little lectures on my behavior in society； they began
about it at once。 Then they began to feel ashamed of me。 That is
what comes of having your children well brought up。 I could not
go to school again at my time of life。 （This pain is fearful！ MON
DIEU！ These doctors！ these doctors！ If they would open my head；
it would give me some relief！） Oh； my daughters； my daughters！
Anastasie！ Delphine！ If I could only see them！ Send for the
police； and make them come to me！ Justice is on my side； the
whole world is on my side； I have natural rights； and the law
with me。 I protest！ The country will go to ruin if a father's
rights are trampled under foot。 That is easy to see。 The whole
world turns on fatherly love； fatherly love is the foundation of
society； it will crumble into ruin when children do not love
their fathers。 Oh！ if I could only see them； and hear them； no
matter what they said； if I could simply hear their voices； it
would soothe the pain。 Delphine！ Delphine most of all。 But tell
them when they come not to look so coldly at me as they do。 Oh！
my friend； my good Monsieur Eugene； you do not know that it is
when all the golden light in a glance suddenly turns to a leaden
gray。 It has been one long winter here since the light in their
eyes shone no more for me。 I have had nothing but disappointments
to devour。 Disappointment has been my daily bread； I have lived
on humiliation and insults。 I have swallowed down all the
affronts for which they sold me my poor stealthy little moments
of joy； for I love them so！ Think of it！ a father hiding himself
to get a glimpse of his children！ I have given all my life to
them； and to…day they will not give me one hour！ I am hungering
and thirsting for them； my heart is burning in me； but they will
not come to bring relief in the agony； for I am dying now； I feel
that this is death。 Do they not know what it means to trample on
a father's corpse？ There is a God in heaven who avenges us
fathers whether we will or no。
〃Oh！ they will come！ Come to me； darlings； and give me one more
kiss； one last kiss； the Viaticum for your father； who will pray
God for you in heaven。 I will tell Him that you have been good
children to your father； and plead your cause with God！ After
all； it is not their fault。 I tell you they are innocent； my
friend。 Tell every one that it is not their fault； and no one
need be distressed on my account。 It is all my own fault； I
taught them to trample