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lost for many years。 I recently discovered and purchased the other in
a pawnin an obscure museum in Vienna。 I wish to purchase yours。 Name
your price。'
〃'Well; the great ice jams; Profess!' says Scudder。 'Have you found
the other one? Me sell? No。 I don't guess Cornelius Scudder needs to
sell anything that he wants to keep。 Have you got the carving with
you; Profess?'
〃I shows it to Scudder。 He examines it careful all over。
〃'It's the article;' says he。 'It's a duplicate of mine; every line
and curve of it。 Tell you what I'll do;' he says。 'I won't sell; but
I'll buy。 Give you 2;500 for yours。'
〃'Since you won't sell; I will;' says I。 'Large bills; please。 I'm a
man of few words。 I must return to New York to…night。 I lecture
to…morrow at the aquarium。'
〃Scudder sends a check down and the hotel cashes it。 He goes off with
his piece of antiquity and I hurry back to Andy's hotel; according to
arrangement。
〃Andy is walking up and down the room looking at his watch。
〃'Well?' he says。
〃'Twenty…five hundred;' says I。 'Cash。'
〃'We've got just eleven minutes;' says Andy; 'to catch the B。 & O。
westbound。 Grab your baggage。'
〃'What's the hurry;' says I。 'It was a square deal。 And even if it was
only an imitation of the original carving it'll take him some time to
find it out。 He seemed to be sure it was the genuine article。'
〃'It was;' says Andy。 'It was his own。 When I was looking at his
curios yesterday he stepped out of the room for a moment and I
pocketed it。 Now; will you pick up your suit case and hurry?'
〃'Then;' says I; 'why was that story about finding another one in the
pawn'
〃'Oh;' says Andy; 'out of respect for that conscience of yours。 Come
on。'〃
XI
THE MAN HIGHER UP
Across our two dishes of spaghetti; in a corner of Provenzano's
restaurant; Jeff Peters was explaining to me the three kinds of graft。
Every winter Jeff comes to New York to eat spaghetti; to watch the
shipping in East River from the depths of his chinchilla overcoat; and
to lay in a supply of Chicago…made clothing at one of the Fulton
street stores。 During the other three seasons he may be found further
westhis range is from Spokane to Tampa。 In his profession he takes a
pride which he supports and defends with a serious and unique
philosophy of ethics。 His profession is no new one。 He is an
incorporated; uncapitalized; unlimited asylum for the reception of the
restless and unwise dollars of his fellowmen。
In the wilderness of stone in which Jeff seeks his annual lonely
holiday he is glad to palaver of his many adventures; as a boy will
whistle after sundown in a wood。 Wherefore; I mark on my calendar the
time of his coming; and open a question of privilege at Provenzano's
concerning the little wine…stained table in the corner between the
rakish rubber plant and the framed palazzio della something on the
wall。
〃There are two kinds of graft;〃 said Jeff; 〃that ought to be wiped out
by law。 I mean Wall Street speculation; and burglary。〃
〃Nearly everybody will agree with you as to one of them;〃 said I; with
a laugh。
〃Well; burglary ought to be wiped out; too;〃 said Jeff; and I wondered
whether the laugh had been redundant。
〃About three months ago;〃 said Jeff; 〃it was my privilege to become
familiar with a sample of each of the aforesaid branches of
illegitimate art。 I was /sine que grata/ with a member of the
housebreakers' union and one of the John D。 Napoleons of finance at
the same time。〃
〃Interesting combination;' said I; with a yawn。 〃Did I tell you I
bagged a duck and a ground…squirrel at one shot last week over in the
Ramapos?〃 I knew well how to draw Jeff's stories。
〃Let me tell you first about these barnacles that clog the wheels of
society by poisoning the springs of rectitude with their upas…like
eye;〃 said Jeff; with the pure gleam of the muck…raker in his own。
〃As I said; three months ago I got into bad company。 There are two
times in a man's life when he does thiswhen he's dead broke; and
when he's rich。
〃Now and then the most legitimate business runs out of luck。 It was
out in Arkansas I made the wrong turn at a cross…road; and drives into
this town of Peavine by mistake。 It seems I had already assaulted and
disfigured Peavine the spring of the year before。 I had sold 600
worth of young fruit trees thereplums; cherries; peaches and pears。
The Peaviners were keeping an eye on the country road and hoping I
might pass that way again。 I drove down Main street as far as the
Crystal Palace drugstore before I realized I had committed ambush upon
myself and my white horse Bill。
〃The Peaviners took me by surprise and Bill by the bridle and began a
conversation that wasn't entirely disassociated with the subject of
fruit trees。 A committee of 'em ran some trace…chains through the
armholes of my vest; and escorted me through their gardens and
orchards。
〃Their fruit trees hadn't lived up to their labels。 Most of 'em had
turned out to be persimmons and dogwoods; with a grove or two of
blackjacks and poplars。 The only one that showed any signs of bearing
anything was a fine young cottonwood that had put forth a hornet's
nest and half of an old corset…cover。
〃The Peaviners protracted our fruitless stroll to the edge of town。
They took my watch and money on account; and they kept Bill and the
wagon as hostages。 They said the first time one of them dogwood trees
put forth an Amsden's June peach I might come back and get my things。
Then they took off the trace chains and jerked their thumbs in the
direction of the Rocky Mountains; and I struck a Lewis and Clark lope
for the swollen rivers and impenetrable forests。
〃When I regained intellectualness I found myself walking into an
unidentified town on the A。; T。 & S。 F。 railroad。 The Peaviners hadn't
left anything in my pockets except a plug of chewingthey wasn't
after my lifeand that saved it。 I bit off a chunk and sits down on a
pile of ties by the track to recogitate my sensations of thought and
perspicacity。
〃And then along comes a fast freight which slows up a little at the
town; and off of it drops a black bundle that rolls for twenty yards
in a cloud of dust and then gets up and begins to spit soft coal and
interjections。 I see it is a young man broad across the face; dressed
more for Pullmans than freights; and with a cheerful kind of smile in
spite of it all that made Phoebe Snow's job look like a chimney…
sweep's。
〃'Fall off?' says I。
〃'Nunk;' says he。 'Got off。 Arrived at my destination。 What town is
this?'
〃'Haven't looked it up on the map yet;' says I。 'I got in about five
minutes before you did。 How does it strike you?'
〃'Hard;' says he; twisting one of his arms around。 'I believe that
shoulderno; it's all right。'
〃He stoops over to brush the dust off his clothes; when out of his
pocket drops a fine; nine…inch burglar's steel jimmy。 He picks it up
and looks at me sharp; and then grins and holds out his hand。
〃'Brother;' says he; 'greetings。 Didn't I see you in Southern Missouri
last summer selling colored sand at half…a…dollar a teaspoonful to put
into lamps to keep the oil from exploding?'
〃'Oil;' says I; 'never explodes。 It's the gas that forms that
explodes。' But I shakes hands with him; anyway。
〃'My name's Bill Bassett;' says he to me; 'and if you'll call it
professional pride instead of conceit; I'll inform you that you have
the pleasure of meeting the best burglar that ever set a gum…shoe on
ground drained by the Mississippi River。'
〃Well; me and this Bill Bassett sits on the ties and exchanges brags
as artists in kindred lines will do。 It seems he didn't have a cent;
either; and we went into close caucus。 He explained why an able
burglar sometimes had to travel on freights by telling me that a
servant girl had played him false in Little Rock; and he was making a
quick get…away。
〃'It's part of my business;' says Bill Bassett; 'to play up to the
ruffles when I want to make a riffle as Raffles。 'Tis loves that makes
the bit go 'round。 Show me a house with a swag in it and a pretty
parlor…maid; and you might as well call the silver melted down and
sold; and me spilling truffles and that Chateau stuff on the napkin
under my chin; while the police are calling it an inside job just
because the old lady's nephew teaches a Bible class。 I first make an
impression on the girl;' says Bill; 'and when she lets me inside I
make an impression on the locks。 But this one in Little Rock done me;'
says he。 'She saw me taking a trolley ride with another girl; and when
I came 'round on the night she was to leave the door open for me it
was fast。 And I had keys made for the doors upstairs。 But; no sir。 She
had sure cut off my locks。 She was a Delilah;' says Bill Bassett。
〃It seems that Bill tried to break in anyhow with his jimmy; but the
girl emitted a succession of bravura noises like the top…riders of a
tally…ho; and Bill had to take all the hurdles between there and
depot。 As he had no baggage they tried hard to check his departure;
but he made a train that was just pulling out。
〃'Well;' says Bill Bassett; when we had exchanged memories of our dead
lives; 'I could eat。 This town don't loo