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men that looked like war veterans； and some was crippled； and a good
many was just kidsbootblacks and newsboys and messengers。 Some was
working…men in overalls； with their sleeves rolled up。 Not one of the
gang looked like a stockholder in anything unless it was a peanut
stand。 But they all had Golconda stock and looked as sick as you
please。
I saw a queer kind of a pale look come on Buck's face when he sized up
the crowd。 He stepped up to a sickly looking woman and says： 〃Madam；
do you own any of this stock？〃
〃I put in a hundred dollars；〃 says the woman； faint like。 〃It was all
I had saved in a year。 One of my children is dying at home now and I
haven't a cent in the house。 I came to see if I could draw out some。
The circulars said you could draw it at any time。 But they say now I
will lose it all。〃
There was a smart kind of kid in the gangI guess he was a newsboy。
〃I got in twenty…fi'； mister；〃 he says； looking hopeful at Buck's silk
hat and clothes。 〃Dey paid me two…fifty a mont' on it。 Say； a man
tells me dey can't do dat and be on de square。 Is dat straight？ Do you
guess I can get out my twenty…fi'？〃
Some of the old women was crying。 The factory girls was plumb
distracted。 They'd lost all their savings and they'd be docked for the
time they lost coming to see about it。
There was one girla pretty onein a red shawl； crying in a corner
like her heart would dissolve。 Buck goes over and asks her about it。
〃It ain't so much losing the money； mister；〃 says she； shaking all
over； 〃though I've been two years saving it up； but Jakey won't marry
me now。 He'll take Rosa Steinfeld。 I know JJJakey。 She's got 400
in the savings bank。 Ai； ai； ai〃 she sings out。
Buck looks all around with that same funny look on his face。 And then
we see leaning against the wall； puffing at his pipe； with his eye
shining at us； this newspaper reporter。 Buck and me walks over to him。
〃You're a real interesting writer；〃 says Buck。 〃How far do you mean to
carry it？ Anything more up your sleeve？〃
〃Oh； I'm just waiting around；〃 says the reporter； smoking away； 〃in
case any news turns up。 It's up to your stockholders now。 Some of them
might complain； you know。 Isn't that the patrol wagon now？〃 he says；
listening to a sound outside。 〃No；〃 he goes on； 〃that's Doc。
Whittleford's old cadaver coupe from the Roosevelt。 I ought to know
that gong。 Yes； I suppose I've written some interesting stuff at
times。〃
〃You wait；〃 says Buck； 〃I'm going to throw an item of news in your
way。〃
Buck reaches in his pocket and hands me a key。 I knew what he meant
before he spoke。 Confounded old buccaneerI knew what he meant。 They
don't make them any better than Buck。
〃Pick；〃 says he； looking at me hard； 〃ain't this graft a little out of
our line？ Do we want Jakey to marry Rosa Steinfeld？〃
〃You've got my vote；〃 says I。 〃I'll have it here in ten minutes。〃 And
I starts for the safe deposit vaults。
I comes back with the money done up in a big bundle； and then Buck and
me takes the journalist reporter around to another door and we let
ourselves into one of the office rooms。
〃Now； my literary friend；〃 says Buck； 〃take a chair； and keep still；
and I'll give you an interview。 You see before you two grafters from
Graftersville； Grafter County； Arkansas。 Me and Pick have sold brass
jewelry； hair tonic； song books； marked cards； patent medicines；
Connecticut Smyrna rugs； furniture polish； and albums in every town
from Old Point Comfort to the Golden Gate。 We've grafted a dollar
whenever we saw one that had a surplus look to it。 But we never went
after the simoleon in the toe of the sock under the loose brick in the
corner of the kitchen hearth。 There's an old saying you may have heard
'fussily decency averni'which means it's an easy slide from the
street faker's dry goods box to a desk in Wall Street。 We've took that
slide； but we didn't know exactly what was at the bottom of it。 Now；
you ought to be wise； but you ain't。 You've got New York wiseness；
which means that you judge a man by the outside of his clothes。 That
ain't right。 You ought to look at the lining and seams and the button…
holes。 While we are waiting for the patrol wagon you might get out
your little stub pencil and take notes for another funny piece in the
paper。〃
And then Buck turns to me and says： 〃I don't care what Atterbury
thinks。 He only put in brains； and if he gets his capital out he's
lucky。 But what do you say； Pick？〃
〃Me？〃 says I。 〃You ought to know me； Buck。 I didn't know who was
buying the stock。〃
〃All right；〃 says Buck。 And then he goes through the inside door into
the main office and looks at the gang trying to squeeze through the
railing。 Atterbury and his hat was gone。 And Buck makes 'em a short
speech。
〃All you lambs get in line。 You're going to get your wool back。 Don't
shove so。 Get in a linea /line/not in a pile。 Lady； will you
please stop bleating？ Your money's waiting for you。 Here； sonny； don't
climb over that railing； your dimes are safe。 Don't cry； sis； you
ain't out a cent。 Get in /line/； I say。 Here； Pick； come and
straighten 'em out and let 'em through and out by the other door。〃
Buck takes off his coat； pushes his silk hat on the back of his head；
and lights up a reina victoria。 He sets at the table with the boodle
before him； all done up in neat packages。 I gets the stockholders
strung out and marches 'em； single file； through from the main room；
and the reporter man passes 'em out of the side door into the hall
again。 As they go by； Buck takes up the stock and the Gold Bonds；
paying 'em cash； dollar for dollar； the same as they paid in。 The
shareholders of the Golconda Gold Bond and Investment Company can't
hardly believe it。 They almost grabs the money out of Buck's hands。
Some of the women keep on crying； for it's a custom of the sex to cry
when they have sorrow； to weep when they have joy； and to shed tears
whenever they find themselves without either。
The old women's fingers shake when they stuff the skads in the bosom
of their rusty dresses。 The factory girls just stoop over and flap
their dry goods a second； and you hear the elastic go 〃pop〃 as the
currency goes down in the ladies' department of the 〃Old Domestic
Lisle…Thread Bank。〃
Some of the stockholders that had been doing the Jeremiah act the
loudest outside had spasms of restored confidence and wanted to leave
the money invested。 〃Salt away that chicken feed in your duds； and
skip along；〃 says Buck。 〃What business have you got investing in
bonds？ The tea…pot or the crack in the wall behind the clock for your
hoard of pennies。〃
When the pretty girl in the red shawl cashes in Buck hands her an
extra twenty。
〃A wedding present；〃 says our treasurer； 〃from the Golconda Company。
And sayif Jakey ever follows his nose； even at a respectful
distance； around the corner where Rosa Steinfeld lives； you are hereby
authorized to knock a couple of inches of it off。〃
When they was all paid off and gone； Buck calls the newspaper reporter
and shoves the rest of the money over to him。
〃You begun this；〃 says Buck； 〃now finish it。 Over there are the books；
showing every share and bond issued。 Here's the money to cover； except
what we've spent to live on。 You'll have to act as receiver。 I guess
you'll do the square thing on account of your paper。 This is the best
way we know how to settle it。 Me and our substantial but apple…weary
vice…president are going to follow the example of our revered
president； and skip。 Now； have you got enough news for to…day； or do
you want to interview us on etiquette and the best way to make over an
old taffeta skirt？〃
〃News！〃 says the newspaper man； taking his pipe out； 〃do you think I
could use this？ I don't want to lose my job。 Suppose I go around to
the office and tell 'em this happened。 What'll the managing editor
say？ He'll just hand me a pass to Bellevue and tell me to come back
when I get cured。 I might turn in a story about a sea serpent wiggling
up Broadway； but I haven't got the nerve to try 'em with a pipe like
this。 A get…rich…quick schemeexcuse megang giving back the boodle！
Oh； no。 I'm not on the comic supplement。〃
〃You can't understand it； of course；〃 says Buck； with his hand on the
door knob。 〃Me and Pick ain't Wall Streeters like you know 'em。 We
never allowed to swindle sick old women and working girls and take
nickels off of kids。 In the lines of graft we've worked we took money
from the people the Lord made to be buncoedsports and rounders and
smart Alecks and street crowds； that always have a few dollars to
throw away； and farmers that wouldn't ever be happy if the grafters
didn't come around and play with 'em when they sold their crops。 We
never cared to fish for the kind of suckers that bite here。 No； sir。
We got too much respect for the profession and for ourselves。 Good…by
to you； Mr。 Receiver。〃
〃Here！〃 says the journalist reporter； 〃wait a minute。 There's a broker
I know on the next floor。 Wait till I put this truck in his safe。 I
want you fellows to take a drink on me before you go。〃
〃On you？〃 says Buck； winking solemn。 〃Don't you go and try to make 'em
believe at the office you said that。 Thanks。 We can't sp