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was a fattish man with an immediate eye； in a black skull…cap； with a
four…ounce diamond screwed into the bosom of his red sweater。
〃'Are you George B。 Tapley？' I asks。
〃'I swear it；' says he。
〃'Well； I've got it；' says I。
〃'Designate；' says he。 'Are you the guinea pigs for the Asiatic python
or the alfalfa for the sacred buffalo？'
〃'Neither；' says I。 'I've got Beppo； the educated hog； in a sack in
that wagon。 I found him rooting up the flowers in my front yard this
morning。 I'll take the five thousand dollars in large bills； if it's
handy。'
〃George B。 hustles out of his tent； and asks me to follow。 We went
into one of the side…shows。 In there was a jet black pig with a pink
ribbon around his neck lying on some hay and eating carrots that a man
was feeding to him。
〃'Hey； Mac；' calls G。 B。 'Nothing wrong with the world…wide this
morning； is there？'
〃'Him？ No；' says the man。 'He's got an appetite like a chorus girl at
1 A。M。'
〃'How'd you get this pipe？' says Tapley to me。 'Eating too many pork
chops last night？'
〃I pulls out the paper and shows him the ad。
〃'Fake；' says he。 'Don't know anything about it。 You've beheld with
your own eyes the marvelous； world…wide porcine wonder of the four…
footed kingdom eating with preternatural sagacity his matutinal meal；
unstrayed and unstole。 Good morning。'
〃I was beginning to see。 I got in the wagon and told Uncle Ned to
drive to the most adjacent orifice of the nearest alley。 There I took
out my pig； got the range carefully for the other opening； set his
sights； and gave him such a kick that he went out the other end of the
alley twenty feet ahead of his squeal。
〃Then I paid Uncle Ned his fifty cents； and walked down to the
newspaper office。 I wanted to hear it in cold syllables。 I got the
advertising man to his window。
〃'To decide a bet；' says I； 'wasn't the man who had this ad。 put in
last night short and fat； with long black whiskers and a club…foot？'
〃'He was not；' says the man。 'He would measure about six feet by four
and a half inches； with corn…silk hair； and dressed like the pansies
of the conservatory。'
〃At dinner time I went back to Mrs。 Peevy's。
〃'Shall I keep some soup hot for Mr。 Tatum till he comes back？' she
asks。
〃'If you do； ma'am；' says I； 'you'll more than exhaust for firewood
all the coal in the bosom of the earth and all the forests on the
outside of it。'
〃So there； you see；〃 said Jefferson Peters； in conclusion； 〃how hard
it is ever to find a fair…minded and honest business…partner。〃
〃But；〃 I began； with the freedom of long acquaintance； 〃the rule
should work both ways。 If you had offered to divide the reward you
would not have lost〃
Jeff's look of dignified reproach stopped me。
〃That don't involve the same principles at all；〃 said he。 〃Mine was a
legitimate and moral attempt at speculation。 Buy low and sell high
don't Wall Street endorse it？ Bulls and bears and pigswhat's the
difference？ Why not bristles as well as horns and fur？〃
End