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church； she respected her own family： it had in truth no other claim
to respect than that its little good and much evil had been done
before the eyes of a large part of many generationswhence she was
born to think herself distinguished； and to imagine a claim for the
acknowledgment of distinction upon all except those of greatly
higher rank than her own。 This inborn arrogance was in some degree
modified by respect for the writers of certain booksnot one of
whom was of any regard in the eyes of the thinkers of the age。 Of
any writers of power； beyond those of the Bible； either in this
country or another； she knew nothing。 Yet she had a real instinct
for what was good in literature； and of the writers to whom I have
referred she not only liked the worthiest best； but liked best their
best things。 I need hardly say they were all religious writers； for
the keen conscience and obedient heart of the girl had made her very
early turn herself towards the quarter where the sun ought to rise；
the quarter where all night long gleams the auroral hope； but
unhappily she had not gone direct to the heavenly well in earthly
groundthe words of the Master himself。 How could she？ From very
childhood her mind had been filled with traditionary utterances
concerning the divine character and the divine plansthe merest
inventions of men far more desirous of understanding what they were
not required to understand； than of doing what they were required to
dowhence their crude and false utterances concerning a God of
their own fancyin whom it was a good man's duty； in the name of
any possible God； to disbelieve； and just because she was true；
authority had immense power over her。 The very sweetness of their
nature forbids such to doubt the fitness of others。
She had besides had a governess of the orthodox type； a large
proportion of whose teaching was of the worst heresy； for it was
lies against him who is light； and in whom is no darkness at all；
her doctrines were so many smoked glasses held up between the mind
of her pupil and the glory of the living God； nor had she once
directed her gaze to the very likeness of God； the face of Jesus
Christ。 Had Arctura set herself to understand him the knowledge of
whom is eternal life； she would have believed none of these false
reports of him； but she had not yet met with any one to help her to
cast aside the doctrines of men； and go face to face with the Son of
Man； the visible God。 First lie of all； she had been taught that she
must believe so and so before God would let her come near him or
listen to her。 The old cobbler could have taught her differently；
but she would have thought it improper to hold conversation with
such a man； even if she had known him for the best man in Auchars。
She was in sore and sad earnest to believe as she was told she must
believe； therefore instead of beginning to do what Jesus Christ
said； she tried hard to imagine herself one of the chosen； tried
hard to believe herself the chief of sinners。 There was no one to
tell her that it is only the man who sees something of the glory of
God； the height and depth and breadth and length of his love and
unselfishness； not a child dabbling in stupid doctrines； that can
feel like St。 Paul。 She tried to feel that she deserved to be burned
in hell for ever and ever； and that it was boundlessly good of
Godwho made her so that she could not help being a sinnerto give
her the least chance of escaping it。 She tried to feel that； though
she could not be saved without something which the God of perfect
love could give her if he pleased； but might not please to give her；
yet if she was not saved it would be all her own fault： and so ever
the round of a great miserable treadmill of contradictions！ For a
moment she would be able to say this or that she thought she ought
to say； the next the feeling would be gone； and she as miserable as
before。 Her friend made no attempt to imbue her with her own calm
indifference； nor could she have succeeded had she attempted it。
But though she had never been troubled herself； and that because
she had never been in earnest； she did not find it the less easy to
take upon her the r鬺e of a spiritual adviser； and gave no end of
counsel for the attainment of assurance。 She told her truly enough
that all her trouble came of want of faith； but she showed her no
one fit to believe in。
CHAPTER XVIII。
A CLASH。
All this time； Donal had never again seen the earl； neither had the
latter shown any interest in Davie's progress。 But lady Arctura was
full of serious anxiety concerning him。 Heavily prejudiced against
the tutor； she dreaded his influence on the mind of her little
cousin。
There was a small recess in the schoolroomit had been a bay
window； but from an architectural necessity arising from decay； it
had； all except a narrow eastern light； been built upand in this
recess Donal was one day sitting with a book； while Davie was busy
writing at the table in the middle of the room： it was past
school…hours； but the weather did not invite them out of doors； and
Donal had given Davie a poem to copy。 Lady Arctura came into the
roomshe had never entered it before since Donal cameand thinking
he was alone； began to talk to the boy。 She spoke in so gentle a
tone that Donal； busy with his book； did not for some time
distinguish a word she said。 He never suspected she was unaware of
his presence。 By degrees her voice grew a little louder； and by and
by these words reached him：
〃You know； Davie dear； every sin； whatever it is； deserves God's
wrath and curse； both in this life and that which is to come； and if
it had not been that Jesus Christ gave himself to turn away his
anger and satisfy his justice by bearing the punishment for us； God
would send us all to the place of misery for ever and ever。 It is
for his sake； not for ours； that he pardons us。〃
She had not yet ceased when Donal rose in the wrath of love； and
came out into the room。
〃Lady Arctura；〃 he said； 〃I dare not sit still and hear such false
things uttered against the blessed God！〃
Lady Arctura started in dire dismay； but in virtue of her breed and
her pride recovered herself immediately； drew herself up； and said
〃Mr。 Grant； you forget yourself！〃
〃I'm very willing to do that； my lady；〃 answered Donal； 〃but I must
not forget the honour of my God。 If you were a heathen woman I might
think whether the hour was come for enlightening you further； but to
hear one who has had the Bible in her hands from her childhood say
such things about the God who made her and sent his Son to save her；
without answering a word for him； would be cowardly！〃
〃What do you know about such things？ What gives you a right to
speak？〃 said lady Arctura。
Her pride…strength was already beginning to desert her。
〃I had a Christian mother；〃 answered Donal； 〃have her yet； thank
God！who taught me to love nothing but the truth； I have studied
the Bible from my childhood； often whole days together； when I was
out with the cattle or the sheep； and I have tried to do what the
Lords tells me； from nearly the earliest time I can remember。
Therefore I am able to set to my seal that God is truethat he is
light； and there is no darkness of unfairness or selfishness in him。
I love God with my whole heart and soul； my lady。〃
Arctura tried to say she too loved him so； but her conscience
interfered； and she could not。
〃I don't say you don't love him；〃 Donal went on； 〃but how you can
love him and believe such things of him； I don't understand。
Whoever taught them first was a terrible liar against God； who is
lovelier than all the imaginations of all his creatures can think。〃
Lady Arctura swept from the roomthough she was trembling from head
to foot。 At the door she turned and called Davie。 The boy looked
up in his tutor's face； mutely asking if he should obey her。
〃Go；〃 said Donal。
In less than a minute he came back； his eyes full of tears。
〃Arkie says she is going to tell papa。 Is it true； Mr。 Grant； that
you are a dangerous man？ I do not believe itthough you do carry
such a big knife。〃
Donal laughed。
〃It is my grandfather's skean dhu；〃 he said： 〃I mend my pens with
it； you know！ But it is strange； Davie； that； when a body knows
something other people don't； they should be angry with him！ They
will even think he wants to make them bad when he wants to help them
to be good！〃
〃But Arkie is good； Mr。 Grant！〃
〃I am sure she is。 But she does not know so much about God as I do；
or she would never say such things of him： we must talk about him
more after this！〃
〃No； no； please； Mr。 Grant！ We won't say a word about him； for
Arkie says except you promise never to speak of God； she will tell
papa； and he will send you away。〃
〃Davie；〃 said Donal with solemnity； 〃I would not give such a promise
for the castle and all it containsno； not to save your life and
the life of everybody in it！ For Jesus says； 'Whosoever denieth me
before men； him will I deny before my father in heaven；' and rather
than that； I would jump from the top of the castle。 Why； Davie！
would a man deny his own father or mother？〃
〃I don't know