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must speak of a fact； concerning yourself； which I have no right to
keep from you。〃
Once more a pause followed。 There was nothing now of the grand dame
about Arctura。
〃Has nothing occurred to wake a doubt in you？〃 she said at last；
abruptly。 〃Have you not suspected him ofof using you in any way？〃
〃I have had an undefined ghost of a suspicion；〃 answered Donal。
〃Please tell me what you know。〃
〃I should know nothingalthough； my room being near his； I should
have been the more perplexed about some thingshad he not made an
experiment upon myself a year ago。〃
〃Is it possible？〃
〃I sometimes fancy I have not been so well since。 It was a great
shock to me when I came to myself：you see I am trusting you； Mr。
Grant！〃
〃I thank you heartily； my lady；〃 said Donal。
〃I believe；〃 continued lady Arctura； gathering courage； 〃that my
uncle is in the habit of taking some horrible drug for the sake of
its effect on his brain。 There are people who do so！ What it is I
don't know； and I would rather not know。 It is just as bad； surely；
as taking too much wine！ I have heard himself remark to Mr。
Carmichael that opium was worse than wine； for it destroyed the
moral sense more。 Mind I don't say it is opium he takes！〃
〃There are other things；〃 said Donal； 〃even worse！But surely you
do not mean he dared try anything of the sort on you！〃
〃I am sure he gave me something！ For； once that I dined with
him；but I cannot describe the effect it had upon me！ I think he
wanted to see its operation on one who did not even know she had
taken anything。 The influence of such things is a pleasant one； they
say； at first； but I would not go through such agonies as I had for
the world！〃
She ceased； evidently troubled by the harassing remembrance。 Donal
hastened to speak。
〃It was because of such a suspicion； my lady； that this evening I
would not even taste his wine。 I am safe to…night； I trust； from the
insanityI can call it nothing elsethat possessed me the last two
nights。〃
〃Was it very dreadful？〃 asked lady Arctura。
〃On the contrary； I had a sense of life and power such as I could
never of myself have imagined！〃
〃Oh； Mr。 Grant； do take care！ Do not be tempted to take it again。 I
don't know where it might not have led me if I had found it as
pleasant as it was horrible； for I am sorely tried with painful
thoughts； and feel sometimes as if I would do almost anything to get
rid of them。〃
〃There must be a good way of getting rid of them！ Think it of God's
mercy；〃 said Donal； 〃that you cannot get rid of them the other way。〃
〃I do； I do！〃
〃The shield of his presence was over you。〃
〃How glad I should be to think so！ But we have no right to think he
cares for us till we believe in ChristandandI don't know that
I do believe in him！〃
〃Wherever you learned that； it is a terrible lie；〃 said Donal。 〃Is
not Christ the same always； and is he not of one mind with God？ Was
it not while we were yet sinners that he poured out his soul for us？
It is a fearful thing to say of the perfect Love； that he is not
doing all he can； with all the power of a maker over the creature he
has made； to help and deliver him！〃
〃I know he makes his sun to shine and his rain to fall upon the evil
and the good； but those good things are only of this world！〃
〃Are those the good things then that the Lord says the Father will
give to those that ask him？ How can you worship a God who gives you
all the little things he does not care much about； but will not do
his best for you？〃
〃But are there not things he cannot do for us till we believe in
Christ？〃
〃Certainly there are。 But what I want you to see is that he does all
that can be done。 He finds it very hard to teach us； but he is never
tired of trying。 Anyone who is willing to be taught of God； will by
him be taught； and thoroughly taught。〃
〃I am afraid I am doing wrong in listening to you； Mr。 Grantand
the more that I cannot help wishing what you say might be true！ But
are you not in dangeryou will pardon me for saying itof
presumption？How can all the good people be wrong？〃
〃Because the greater part of their teachers have set themselves to
explain God rather than to obey and enforce his will。 The gospel is
given to convince； not our understandings； but our hearts； that
done； and never till then； our understandings will be free。 Our Lord
said he had many things to tell his disciples； but they were not
able to hear them。 If the things be true which I have heard from
Sunday to Sunday since I came here； the Lord has brought us no
salvation at all； but only a change of shape to our miseries。 They
have not redeemed you； lady Arctura； and never will。 Nothing but
Christ himself； your lord and friend and brother； not all the
doctrines about him； even if every one of them were true； can save
you。 Poor orphan children； we cannot find our God； and they would
have us take instead a shocking caricature of him！〃
〃But how should sinners know what is or is not like the true God？〃
〃If a man desires God； he cannot help knowing enough of him to be
capable of learning moreelse how should he desire him？ Made in the
image of God； his idea of him cannot be all wrong。 That does not
make him fit to teach othersonly fit to go on learning for
himself。 But in Jesus Christ I see the very God I want。 I want a
father like him。 He reproaches some of those about him for not
knowing himfor； if they had known God； they would have known him：
they were to blame for not knowing God。 No other than the God
exactly like Christ can be the true God。 It is a doctrine of devils
that Jesus died to save us from our father。 There is no safety； no
good； no gladness； no purity； but with the Father； his father and
our father； his God and our God。〃
〃But God hates sin and punishes it！〃
〃It would be terrible if he did not。 All hatred of sin is love to
the sinner。 Do you think Jesus came to deliver us from the
punishment of our sins？ He would not have moved a step for that。 The
horrible thing is being bad； and all punishment is help to deliver
us from that； nor will punishment cease till we have ceased to be
bad。 God will have us good； and Jesus works out the will of his
father。 Where is the refuge of the child who fears his father？ Is it
in the farthest corner of the room？ Is it down in the dungeon of the
castle； my lady？〃
〃No； no！〃 cried lady Arctura； 〃in his father's arms！〃
〃There！〃 said Donal； and was silent。
〃I hold by Jesus！〃 he added after a pause； and rose as he said it；
but stood where he rose。
Lady Arctura sat motionless； divided between reverence for distorted
and false forms of truth taught her from her earliest years； and
desire after a God whose very being is the bliss of his creatures。
Some time passed in silence； and then she too rose to depart。 She
held out her hand to Donal with a kind of irresolute motion； but
withdrawing it； smiled almost beseechingly； and said；
〃I wish I might ask you something。 I know it is a rude question； but
if you could see all； you would answer me and let the offence go。〃
〃I will answer you anything you choose to ask。〃
〃That makes it the more difficult； but I willI cannot bear to
remain longer in doubt： did you really write that poem you gave to
Kate Graemecompose it； I mean； your own self？〃
〃I made no secret of that when I gave it her；〃 said Donal； not
perceiving her drift。
〃Then you did really write it？〃
Donal looked at her in perplexity。 Her face grew very red； and tears
began to come in her eyes。
〃You must pardon me！〃 she said： 〃I am so ignorant！ And we live in
such an out…of…the…way place thatthat it seems very unlikely a
real poet！ And then I have been told there are people who have a
passion for appearing to do the thing they are not able to do； and I
was anxious to be quite sure！ My mind would keep brooding over it；
and wondering； and longing to know for certain！So I resolved at
last that I would be rid of the doubt； even at the risk of offending
you。 I know I have been rudeunpardonably rude； but〃
〃But；〃 supplemented Donal； with a most sympathetic smile； for he
understood her as his own thought； 〃you do not feel quite sure yet！
What a priori reason do you see why I should not be able to write
verses？ There is no rule as to where poetry grows： one place is as
good as another for that！〃
〃I hope you will forgive me！ I hope I have not offended you very
much！〃
〃Nobody in such a world as this ought to be offended at being asked
for proof。 If there are in it rogues that look like honest men； how
is any one； without a special gift of insight； to be always sure of
the honest man？ Even the man whom a woman loves best will sometimes
tear her heart to pieces！ I will give you all the proof you can
desire。And lest the tempter should say I made up the proof itself
between now and to…morrow morning； I will fetch it at once。〃
〃Oh； Mr。 Grant； spare me！ I am not； indeed I am not so bad as that！〃
〃Who can tell when or whence the doubt may wake again； or what may
wake it！〃
〃At least let me explain a little before you go；〃 she said。
〃Certainly；〃 he answered； reseating himself； in compliance with her
example。
〃Miss Graeme told me that you had neve