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seeing him so seldom that he had almost come to represent the ghost
some said lived in the invisible room and haunted the castle。
It was the easier for Eppy to go home that her grandmother needed
her； and that her grandfather would not be able to say much to her。
She was an affectionate girl； and yet her grandfather's condition
roused in her no indignation； for the love of being loved is such a
blinding thing； that the greatest injustice from the dearest to the
next dearest will by some natures be readily tolerated。 God help us！
we are a mean setand meanest the man who is ablest to justify
himself！
Mrs。 Brookes； having prepared a heavy basket of good things for Eppy
to carry home to her grandmother； and made it the heavier for the
sake of punishing her with the weight of it； set out with her；
saying to herself；
〃The jaud wants a wheen harder wark nor I hae hauden till her han'；
an' doobtless it's preparin' for her！〃
She was kindly received； without a word of reproach； by her
grandmother； the sufferer； forgetful of； or forgiving her words of
rejection in the garden； smiled when she came near his bedside； and
she turned away to conceal the tears she could not repress。 She
loved her grand…parents； and she loved the young lord； and she could
not get the two loves to dwell together peaceably in her minda
common difficulty with our weak； easily divided； hardly united
naturesfrangible； friable； readily distorted！ It needs no less
than God himself； not only to unite us to one another； but to make a
whole of the ill…fitting； roughly disjointed portions of our
individual beings。 Tearfully but diligently she set about her
duties； and not only the heart； but the limbs and joints of her
grandmother were relieved by her presence； while doubtless she
herself found some refuge from anxious thought in the service she
rendered。 What she saw as her probable future； I cannot say； one
hour her confidence in her lover's faithfulness would be complete；
the next it would be dashed with huge blots of uncertainty； but her
grandmother rejoiced over her as out of harm's way。
CHAPTER XXXVII。
LORD FORGUE AND LADY ARCTURA。
At the castle things fell into their old routine。 Nothing had been
arranged between lord Forgue and Eppy； and he seemed content that it
should be so。 Mrs。 Brookes told him that she had gone home： he made
neither remark nor inquiry； manifesting no interest。
It would be well his father should not see it necessary to push
things farther！ He did not want to turn out of the castle！ Without
means； what was he to do？ The marriage could not be to…day or
to…morrow！ and in the meantime he could see Eppy； perhaps more
easily than at the castle！ He would contrive！ He was sorry he had
hurt the old fellow； but he could not help it！ he would get in the
way！ Things would have been much worse if he had not got first to
his father！ He would wait a bit； and see what would turn up！ For the
tutor…fellow； he must not quarrel with him downright！ No good would
come of that！ In the end he would have his way！ and that in spite of
them all！
But what he really wanted he did not know。 He only knew； or
imagined； that he was over head and ears in love with the girl： what
was to come of it was all in the clouds。 He had said he meant to
marry her； but to that statement he had been driven； more than he
knew； by the desire to escape the contempt of the tutor he scorned；
and he rejoiced that he had at least discomfited him。 He knew that
if he did marry Eppy； or any one else of whom his father did not
approve； he had nothing to look for but absolute poverty； for he
knew no way to earn money； he was therefore unprepared to defy him
immediatelywhatever he might do by and by。 He said to himself
sometimes that he was as willing as any man to work for his wife if
only he knew how； but when he said so； had he always a clear vision
of Eppy as the wife in prospect？ Alas； it would take years to make
him able to earn even a woman's wages！ It would be a fine thing for
a lord to labour like a common man for the support of a child of the
people for whom he had sacrificed everything； but where was the
possibility？ When thoughts like these grew too many for him； Forgue
wished he had never seen the girl。 His heart would immediately
reproach him； immediately he would comfort his conscience with the
reflection that to wish he had never seen her was a very different
thing from wishing to act as if he had。 He loafed about in her
neighbourhood as much as he dared； haunted the house itself in the
twilight； and at night even ventured sometimes to creep up the
stair； but for some time he never even saw her： for days Eppy never
went out of doors except into the garden。
Though she had not spoken of it； Arctura had had more than a
suspicion that something was going on between her cousin and the
pretty maid； for the little window of her sitting room partially
overlooked a certain retired spot favoured of the lovers； and after
Eppy left the house； Davie； though he did not associate the facts；
noted that she was more cheerful than before。 But there was no
enlargement of intercourse between her and Forgue。 They knew it was
the wish of the head of the house that they should marry； but the
earl had been wise enough to say nothing openly to either of them：
he believed the thing would have a better chance on its own merits；
and as yet they had shown no sign of drawing to each other。 It
might； perhaps； have been otherwise on his part had not the young
lord been taken with the pretty housemaid； though at first he had
thought of nothing more than a little passing flirtation； reckoning
his advantage with her by the height on which he stood in his own
regard； but it was from no jealousy that Arctura was relieved by the
departure of Eppy。 She had never seen anything attractive in her
cousin； and her religious impressions would have been enough to
protect her from any drawing to him： had they not poisoned in her
even the virtue of common house…friendliness toward a very different
man？ The sense of relief she had when Eppy went； lay in being
delivered from the presence of something clandestine； with which she
could not interfere so far as to confess knowledge of it。 It had
rendered her uneasy； she had felt shy and uncomfortable。 Once or
twice she had been on the point of saying to Mrs。 Brookes that she
thought her cousin and Eppy very oddly familiar； but had failed of
courage。 It was no wonder therefore that she should be more
cheerful。
CHAPTER XXXVIII。
ARCTURA AND SOPHIA。
About this time her friend； Miss Carmichael； returned from a rather
lengthened visit。 But after the atonement that had taken place
between her and Donal； it was with some anxiety that lady Arctura
looked forward to seeing her。 She shrank from telling her what had
come about through the wonderful poem； as she thought it； which had
so bewitched her。 She shrank too from showing her the verses： they
were not of a kind； she was sure； to meet with recognition from her。
She knew she would make game of them； and that not good…humouredly
like Kate； who yet confessed to some beauty in them。 For herself；
the poem and the study of its growth had ministered so much
nourishment to certain healthy poetic seeds lying hard and dry in
her bosom； that they had begun to sprout； indeed to shoot rapidly
up。 Donal's poem could not fail therefore to be to her thenceforward
something sacred。 A related result also was that it had made her
aware of something very defective in her friend's constitution： she
did not know whether in her constitution mental； moral； or
spiritual： probably it was in all three。 Doubtless； thought Arctura；
she knew most things better than she； and certainly had a great deal
more common sense； but； on the other hand； was she not satisfied
with far less than she could be satisfied with？ To believe as her
friend believed would not save her from insanity！ She must be made
on a smaller scale of necessities than herself！ How was she able to
love the God she said she believed in？ God should at least be as
beautiful as his creature could imagine him！ But Miss Carmichael
would say her poor earthly imagination was not to occupy itself with
such a high subject！ Oh； why would not God tell her something about
himselfsomething directstraight from himself？ Why should she
only hear of him at second handalways and always？
Alas； poor girl！ second hand？ Five hundredth hand rather？ And she
might have been all the time communing with the very God himself；
manifest in his own shape； which is ours also！all the time
learning that her imagination could nevernot to say originate；
but； when presented； receive into it the unspeakable excess of his
loveliness； of his absolute devotion and tenderness to the
creatures； the children of his father！
In the absence of Miss Carmichael she had thought with less
oppression of many things that in her presence appeared
ghastly…hopeless； now in the prospect of her reappearance she began
to feel wicked in daring a thought of her own concerning the God
that was nearer to her than her thoughts！ Such an unhealthy mastery
had she gained over her！ What if they met Donal； a