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homelike place to those that enter it； than this world is to us。
〃I don't like death；〃 said Davie； after a silence。
〃I don't want you to like； what you call death； for that is not the
thing itselfit is only your fancy about it。 You need not think
about it at all。 The way to get ready for it is to live； that is； to
do what you have to do。〃
〃But I do not want to get ready for it。 I don't want to go to it；
and to prepare for it is like going straight into it！〃
〃You have to go to it whether you prepare for it or not。 You cannot
help going to it。 But it must be like this world； seeing the only
way to prepare for it is to do the thing God gives us to do。〃
〃Aren't you afraid of death； Mr。 Grant？〃
〃No； I am not。 Why should I fear the best thing that； in its time；
can come to me？ Neither will you be afraid when it comes。 It is not
the dreadful thing it looks。〃
〃Why should it look dreadful if it is not dreadful？〃
〃That is a very proper question。 It looks dreadful； and must look
dreadful； to everyone who cannot see in it that which alone makes
life not dreadful。 If you saw a great dark cloak coming along the
road as if it were round somebody； but nobody inside it； you would
be frightenedwould you not？〃
〃Indeed I should。 It would be awful！〃
〃It would。 But if you spied inside the cloak； and making it come
towards you； the most beautiful loving face you ever sawof a man
carrying in his arms a little childand saw the child clinging to
him； and looking in his face with a blessed smile； would you be
frightened at the black cloak？〃
〃No； that would be silly。〃
〃You have your answer！ The thing that makes death look so fearful is
that we do not see inside it。 Those who see only the black cloak；
and think it is moving along of itself； may well be frightened； but
those who see the face inside the cloak； would be fools indeed to be
frightened！ Before Jesus came； people lived in great misery about
death； but after he rose again； those who believed in him always
talked of dying as falling asleep； and I daresay the story of
Lazarus； though it was not such a great thing after the rising of
the Lord himself； had a large share in enabling them to think that
way about it。〃
When they went home； Davie； running up to lady Arctura's room；
recounted to her as well as he could the conversation he had just
had with Mr。 Grant。
〃Oh； Arkie！〃 he said； 〃to hear him talk； you would think Death
hadn't a leg to stand upon！〃
Arctura smiled； but it was a smile through a cloud of unshed tears。
Lovely as death might be； she would like to get the good of this
world before going to the next！As if God would deny us any
good！At one time she had been willing to go； she thought； but she
was not now！The world had of late grown very beautiful to her！
CHAPTER LXI。
THE BUREAU。
On the Monday night Donal again went down into the hidden parts of
the castle。 Arctura had come to the schoolroom； but seemed ill able
for her work； and he did not tell her what he was doing farther。
They were rather the ghosts of fears than fears themselves that had
assailed him； and this time they hardly came near him as he wrought。
With his new file he made better work than before； and soon finished
cutting through the top of the staple。 Trying it then with a poker
as a lever； he broke the bottom part across； so there was nothing to
hold the bolt； and with a creaking noise of rusty hinges the door
slowly opened to his steady pull。 Nothing appeared but a wall of
plank！ He gave it a push； it yielded： another door； close…fitting；
and without any fastening； flew open； revealing a small closet or
press； and on the opposite side of it a third door。 This he could
not at once open。 It was secured； however； with a common lock； which
cost him scarcely any trouble。 It opened on a little room； of about
nine feet by seven。 He went in。 It contained nothing but an
old…fashioned secretary or bureau； and a seat like a low
music…stool。
〃It may have been a vestry for the priest！〃 thought Donal； 〃but it
must have been used later than the chapel； for this desk is not
older than the one at The Mains； which mistress Jean said was made
for her grandmother！〃
Then how did it get into the place？ There was no other door！ Above
the bureau was a small window； or what seemed a window doubtful with
dirt； but door there was not！ It was not too large to enter by the
oak door； but it could not have got to it along any of the passages
he had come through！ It followed that there must； and that not so
very long ago； have been another entrance to the place in which he
stood！
He turned to look at the way he had himself come： it was through a
common press of painted deal； filling the end of the little room；
there narrowed to about five feet。 When the door in the back of it
was shut； it looked merely a part of the back of the press。
He turned again to the bureau； with a strange feeling at his heart。
The cover was down； and on it lay some sheets of paper； discoloured
with dust and age。 A pen lay with them； and beside was an ink…bottle
of the commonest type； the ink in powder and flakes。 He took up one
of the sheets。 It had a great stain on it。 The bottle must have been
overturned！ But was it ink？ No； it stood too thick on the paper。
With a gruesome shiver Donal wetted his finger and tried the surface
of it： a little came off； a tinge of suspicious brown。 There was
writing on the paper！ What was it？ He held the faded lines close to
the candle。 They were not difficult to decipher。 He sat down on the
stool； and read thushis reading broken by the stain： there was no
date：
〃My husband for such I willblotare in the sight of
Godblotmen why are you so cruel whatblotdeserve these
terrorsblotin thought have Iblothard upon me to think of
another。〃
Here the writing came below the blot； and went on unbroken。
〃My little one is gone and I am left lonely oh so lonely。 I cannot
but think that if you had loved me as you once did I should yet be
clasping my little one to my bosom and you would have a daughter to
comfort you after I am gone。 I feel sure I cannot long survive
thisah there my hand has burst out bleeding again； but do not
think I mind it； I know it was only an accident； you never meant to
do it； though you teased me by refusing to say sobesides it is
nothing。 You might draw ever drop of blood from my body and I would
not care if only you would not make my heart bleed so。 Oh； it is
gone all over my paper and you will think I have done it to let you
see how it bleedsbut I cannot write it all over again it is too
great a labour and too painful to write； so you must see it just as
it is。 I dare not think where my baby is； for if I should be doomed
never to see her because of the love I have borne to you and
consented to be as you wished if I am cast out from God because I
loved you more than him I shall never see you againfor to be where
I could see you would never be punishment enough for my sins。〃
Here the writing stopped： the bleeding of the hand had probably
brought it to a close。 The letter had never been folded； but lying
there； had lain there。 He looked if he could find a date； there was
none。 He held the sheet up to the light； and saw a paper mark； while
close by lay another sheet with merely a datein the same hand； as
if the writer had been about to commence another in lieu of the
letter spoiled。
〃Strange！〃 thought Donal with himself； 〃an old withered grief looks
almost as pitiful as an old withered joy！But who is to say either
is withered？ Those who look upon death as an evil； yet regard it as
the healer of sorrows！ Is it such？ No one can tell how long a grief
may last unwithered！ Surely till the life heals it！ He is a coward
who would be cured of his sorrow by mere lapse of time； by the mere
forgetting of a brain that grows musty with age。 It is God alone who
can healthe God of the dead and of the living！ and the dead must
find him； or be miserable for evermore！〃
He had not a doubt that the letter he had read was in the writing of
the mother of the present earl's children。
What was he to do？ He had thought he was looking into matters much
olderthings over which the permission of lady Arctura extended；
and in truth what he had discovered； or seen corroborated； was a
thing she had a right to know！ but whether he ought to tell her at
once he did not yet see。 He took up his candle； and with a feeling
of helpless dismay； withdrew to his chamber。 But when he reached the
door of it； yielding to a sudden impulse； he turned away； and went
farther up the stair； and out upon the bartizan。
It was a frosty night； and the stars were brilliant。 He looked up
and said；
〃Oh Saviour of men； thy house is vaulted with light； thy secret
places are secret from excess of light； in thee is no darkness at
all； thou hast no terrible crypts and built…up places； thy light is
the terror of those who love the darkness！ Fill my heart with thy
light； let me never hunger or thirst after anything but thy
willthat I may walk in the light； and light not darkness may go
forth from me。〃
As he turned to go in； came a faint chord from the aeolian harp。
〃It sings； brooding over the