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a dream of armageddom-第1章

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A DREAM OF ARMAGEDDON




The man with the white face entered the carriage at Rugby。  He

moved slowly in spite of the urgency of his porter; and even while

he was still on the platform I noted how ill he seemed。  He dropped

into the corner over against me with a sigh; made an incomplete

attempt to arrange his travelling shawl; and became motionless;

with his eyes staring vacantly。  Presently he was moved by a sense

of my observation; looked up at me; and put out a spiritless hand

for his newspaper。  Then he glanced again in my direction。



I feigned to read。  I feared I had unwittingly embarrassed

him; and in a moment I was surprised to find him speaking。



〃I beg your pardon?〃 said I。



〃That book;〃 he repeated; pointing a lean finger; 〃is about

dreams。〃



〃Obviously;〃 I answered; for it was Fortnum Roscoe's Dream

States; and the title was on the cover。



He hung silent for a space as if he sought words。 〃Yes;〃 he

said at last; 〃but they tell you nothing。〃



I did not catch his meaning for a second。



〃They don't know;〃 he added。



I looked a little more attentively at his face。



〃There are dreams;〃 he said; 〃and dreams。〃



That sort of proposition I never dispute。



〃I suppose〃 he hesitated。 〃Do you ever dream?  I mean

vividly。〃



〃I dream very little;〃 I answered。  〃I doubt if I have three

vivid dreams in a year。〃



〃Ah!〃 he said; and seemed for a moment to collect his

thoughts。



〃Your dreams don't mix with your memories?〃 he asked abruptly。



〃You don't find yourself in doubt; did this happen or did it not?〃



〃Hardly ever。  Except just for a momentary hesitation now and

then。  I suppose few people do。〃



〃Does he say?〃  He indicated the book。



〃Says it happens at times and gives the usual explanation

about intensity of impression and the like to account for its not

happening as a rule。  I suppose you know something of these

theories〃



〃Very littleexcept that they are wrong。〃



His emaciated hand played with the strap of the window for a

time。  I prepared to resume reading; and that seemed to precipitate

his next remark。  He leant forward almost as though he would touch

me。



〃Isn't there something called consecutive dreamingthat goes

on night after night?〃



〃I believe there is。  There are cases given in most books on

mental trouble。〃



〃Mental trouble!  Yes。  I daresay there are。  It's the right

place for them。  But what I mean〃  He looked at his bony

knuckles。  〃Is that sort of thing always dreaming?  Is it dreaming?



Or is it something else?  Mightn't it be something else?〃



I should have snubbed his persistent conversation but for the

drawn anxiety of his face。  I remember now the look of his faded

eyes and the lids red stainedperhaps you know that look。



〃I'm not just arguing about a matter of opinion;〃 he said。 

〃The thing's killing me。〃



〃Dreams?〃



〃If you call them dreams。  Night after night。  Vivid!so

vivid 。 。 。 。 this〃 (he indicated the landscape that went

streaming by the window) 〃seems unreal in comparison!  I can

scarcely remember who I am; what business I am on 。 。 。 。〃



He paused。  〃Even now〃



〃The dream is always the samedo you mean?〃 I asked。  



〃It's over。〃



〃You mean?〃



〃I died。〃



〃Died?〃



〃Smashed and killed; and now; so much of me as that dream was;

is dead。  Dead forever。  I dreamt I was another man; you know;

living in a different part of the world and in a different time。 

I dreamt that night after night。  Night after night I woke into

that other life。  Fresh scenes and fresh happeningsuntil I came

upon the last〃



〃When you died?〃



〃When I died。〃



〃And since then〃



〃No;〃 he said。  〃Thank God!  That was the end of the dream 。

。 。 〃



It was clear I was in for this dream。  And after all; I had an

hour before me; the light was fading fast; and Fortnum Roscoe has

a dreary way with him。  〃Living in a different time;〃 I said: 〃do

you mean in some different age?〃



〃Yes。〃



〃Past?〃



〃No; to cometo come。〃



〃The year three thousand; for example?〃



〃I don't know what year it was。  I did when I was asleep; when

I was dreaming; that is; but not nownot now that I am awake。 

There's a lot of things I have forgotten since I woke out of these

dreams; though I knew them at the time when I wasI suppose it was

dreaming。  They called the year differently from our way of calling

the year 。 。 。 What did they call it?〃  He put his hand to his

forehead。  〃No;〃 said he; 〃I forget。〃



He sat smiling weakly。  For a moment I feared he did not mean

to tell me his dream。  As a rule I hate people who tell their

dreams; but this struck me differently。  I proffered assistance

even。  〃It began〃 I suggested。



〃It was vivid from the first。  I seemed to wake up in it

suddenly。  And it's curious that in these dreams I am speaking of

I never remembered this life I am living now。  It seemed as if the

dream life was enough while it lasted。  PerhapsBut I will tell

you how I find myself when I do my best to recall it all。  I don't

remember anything clearly until I found myself sitting in a sort of

loggia looking out over the sea。  I had been dozing; and suddenly

I woke upfresh and vividnot a bit dreamlikebecause the girl

had stopped fanning me。〃



〃The girl?〃



〃Yes; the girl。  You must not interrupt or you will put me

out。〃



He stopped abruptly。  〃You won't think I'm mad?〃 he said。



〃No;〃 I answered。  〃You've been dreaming。  Tell me your

dream。〃



〃I woke up; I say; because the girl had stopped fanning me。 

I was not surprised to find myself there or anything of that sort;

you understand。  I did not feel I had fallen into it suddenly。  I

simply took it up at that point。  Whatever memory I had of this

life; this nineteenth…century life; faded as I woke; vanished like

a dream。  I knew all about myself; knew that my name was no longer

Cooper but Hedon; and all about my position in the world。  I've

forgotten a lot since I wokethere's a want of connectionbut it

was all quite clear and matter of fact then。〃



He hesitated again; gripping the window strap; putting his

face forward and looking up to me appealingly。



〃This seems bosh to you?〃



〃No; no!〃 I cried。  〃Go on。  Tell me what this loggia was

like!〃



〃It was not really a loggiaI don't know what to call it。  It

faced south。  It was small。  It was all in shadow except the

semicircle above the balcony that showed the sky and sea and the

corner where the girl stood。  I was on a couchit was a metal

couch with light striped cushionsand the girl was leaning over

the balcony with her back to me。  The light of the sunrise fell on

her ear and cheek。  Her pretty white neck and the little curls

that nestled there; and her white shoulder were in the sun; and all

the grace of her body was in the cool blue shadow。  She was dressed

how can I describe it?  It was easy and flowing。  And altogether

there she stood; so that it came to me how beautiful and desirable

she was; as though I had never seen her before。  And when at last

I sighed and raised myself upon my arm she turned her face to me〃



He stopped。



〃I have lived three…and…fifty years in this world。  I have had

mother; sisters; friends; wife and daughtersall their faces; the

play of their faces; I know。  But the face of this girlit is much

more real to me。  I can bring it back into memory so that I see it

againI could draw it or paint it。  And after all〃



He stoppedbut I said nothing。



〃The face of a dreamthe face of a dream。  She was beautiful。



Not that beauty which is terrible; cold; and worshipful; like the

beauty of a saint; nor that beauty that stirs fierce passions; but

a sort of radiation; sweet lips that softened into smiles; and

grave gray eyes。  And she moved gracefully; she seemed to have part

with all pleasant and gracious things〃



He stopped; and his face was downcast and hidden。  Then he

looked up at me and went on; making no further attempt to disguise

his absolute belief in the reality of his story。



〃You see; I had thrown up my plans and ambitions; thrown up

all I had ever worked for or desired for her sake。  I had been a

master man away there in the north; with influence and property and

a great reputation; but none of it had seemed worth having beside

her。  I had come to the place; this city of sunny pleasures with

her; and left all those things to wreck and ruin just to save a

remnant at least of my life。  While I had been in love with her

before I knew that she had any care for me; before I had imagined

that she would darethat we should dare; all my life had seemed

vain and hollow; dust and ashes。  It was dust and ashes。  Night

after night and through the long days I had longed and desiredmy

soul had beaten against the thing forbidden!



〃But it is impossible for one man to te
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