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whole world； just as I long to concentrate in my love every idea；
every power that is in me。 The most splendid celebrity is a
possession that genius alone can create。 Well； I can； at my will；
make for you a bed of laurels。 And if the silent ovation paid to
science is not all you desire； I have within me the sword of the
Word； I could run in the path of honor and ambition where others
only crawl。
〃Command me； Pauline； I will be whatever you will。 My iron will
can do anythingI am loved！ Armed with that thought； ought not a
man to sweep everything before him？ The man who wants all can do
all。 If you are the prize of success； I enter the lists to…morrow。
To win such a look as that you bestowed on me； I would leap the
deepest abyss。 Through you I understand the fabulous achievements
of chivalry and the most fantastic tales of the /Arabian Nights/。
I can believe now in the most fantastic excesses of love； and in
the success of a prisoner's wildest attempt to recover his
liberty。 You have aroused the thousand virtues that lay dormant
within mepatience； resignation； all the powers of my heart； all
the strength of my soul。 I live by you andheavenly thought！for
you。 Everything now has a meaning for me in life。 I understand
everything； even the vanities of wealth。
〃I find myself shedding all the pearls of the Indies at your feet；
I fancy you reclining either on the rarest flowers； or on the
softest tissues； and all the splendor of the world seems hardly
worthy of you； for whom I would I could command the harmony and
the light that are given out by the harps of seraphs and the stars
of heaven！ Alas！ a poor； studious poet； I offer you in words
treasures I cannot bestow； I can only give you my heart； in which
you reign for ever。 I have nothing else。 But are there no
treasures in eternal gratitude； in a smile whose expressions will
perpetually vary with perennial happiness； under the constant
eagerness of my devotion to guess the wishes of your loving soul？
Has not one celestial glance given us assurance of always
understanding each other？
〃I have a prayer now to be said to God every nighta prayer full
of you： 'Let my Pauline be happy！' And will you fill all my days
as you now fill my heart？
〃Farewell； I can but trust you to God alone！〃
III
〃Pauline！ tell me if I can in any way have displeased you
yesterday？ Throw off the pride of heart which inflicts on me the
secret tortures that can be caused by one we love。 Scold me if you
will！ Since yesterday； a vague； unutterable dread of having
offended you pours grief on the life of feeling which you had made
so sweet and so rich。 The lightest veil that comes between two
souls sometimes grows to be a brazen wall。 There are no venial
crimes in love！ If you have the very spirit of that noble
sentiment； you must feel all its pangs； and we must be unceasingly
careful not to fret each other by some heedless word。
〃No doubt； my beloved treasure； if there is any fault； it is in
me。 I cannot pride myself in the belief that I understand a
woman's heart； in all the expansion of its tenderness； all the
grace of its devotedness； but I will always endeavor to appreciate
the value of what you vouchsafe to show me of the secrets of
yours。
〃Speak to me！ Answer me soon！ The melancholy into which we are
thrown by the idea of a wrong done is frightful； it casts a shroud
over life； and doubts on everything。
〃I spent this morning sitting on the bank by the sunken road；
gazing at the turrets of Villenoix； not daring to go to our hedge。
If you could imagine all I saw in my soul！ What gloomy visions
passed before me under the gray sky； whose cold sheen added to my
dreary mood！ I had dark presentiments！ I was terrified lest I
should fail to make you happy。
〃I must tell you everything； my dear Pauline。 There are moments
when the spirit of vitality seems to abandon me。 I feel bereft of
all strength。 Everything is a burden to me； every fibre of my body
is inert； every sense is flaccid； my sight grows dim； my tongue is
paralyzed； my imagination is extinct； desire is deadnothing
survives but my mere human vitality。 At such times； though you
were in all the splendor of your beauty； though you should lavish
on me your subtlest smiles and tenderest words； an evil influence
would blind me； and distort the most ravishing melody into
discordant sounds。 At those timesas I believesome
argumentative demon stands before me； showing me the void beneath
the most real possessions。 This pitiless demon mows down every
flower； and mocks at the sweetest feelings； saying： 'Welland
then？' He mars the fairest work by showing me its skeleton； and
reveals the mechanism of things while hiding the beautiful
results。
〃At those terrible moments； when the evil spirit takes possession
of me； when the divine light is darkened in my soul without my
knowing the cause； I sit in grief and anguish； I wish myself deaf
and dumb； I long for death to give me rest。 These hours of doubt
and uneasiness are perhaps inevitable； at any rate； they teach me
not to be proud after the flights which have borne me to the skies
where I have gathered a full harvest of thoughts； for it is always
after some long excursion in the vast fields of the intellect； and
after the most luminous speculations； that I tumble； broken and
weary； into this limbo。 At such a moment； my angel； a wife would
double my love for herat any rate； she might。 If she were
capricious； ailing； or depressed； she would need the comforting
overflow of ingenious affection； and I should not have a glance to
bestow on her。 It is my shame； Pauline； to have to tell you that
at times I could weep with you； but that nothing could make me
smile。
〃A woman can always conceal her troubles； for her child； or for
the man she loves； she can laugh in the midst of suffering。 And
could not I； for you； Pauline； imitate the exquisite reserve of a
woman？ Since yesterday I have doubted my own power。 If I could
displease you once； if I failed once to understand you； I dread
lest I should often be carried out of our happy circle by my evil
demon。 Supposing I were to have many of those dreadful moods； or
that my unbounded love could not make up for the dark hours of my
lifethat I were doomed to remain such as I am？Fatal doubts！
〃Power is indeed a fatal possession if what I feel within me is
power。 Pauline； go！ Leave me； desert me！ Sooner would I endure
every ill in life than endure the misery of knowing that you were
unhappy through me。
〃But； perhaps； the demon has had such empire over me only because
I have had no gentle； white hands about me to drive him off。 No
woman has ever shed on me the balm of her affection； and I know
not whether； if love should wave his pinions over my head in these
moments of exhaustion； new strength might not be given to my
spirit。 This terrible melancholy is perhaps a result of my
isolation； one of the torments of a lonely soul which pays for its
hidden treasures with groans and unknown suffering。 Those who
enjoy little shall suffer little； immense happiness entails
unutterable anguish！
〃How terrible a doom！ If it be so； must we not shudder for
ourselves； we who are superhumanly happy？ If nature sells us
everything at its true value； into what pit are we not fated to
fall？ Ah！ the most fortunate lovers are those who die together in
the midst of their youth and love！ How sad it all is！ Does my soul
foresee evil in the future？ I examine myself； wondering whether
there is anything in me that can cause you a moment's anxiety。 I
love you too selfishly perhaps？ I shall be laying on your beloved
head a burden heavy out of all proportion to the joy my love can
bring to your heart。 If there dwells in me some inexorable power
which I must obeyif I am compelled to curse when you pray； if
some dark thought coerces me when I would fain kneel at your feet
and play as a child； will you not be jealous of that wayward and
tricky spirit？
〃You understand； dearest heart； that what I dread is not being
wholly yours； that I would gladly forego all the sceptres and the
palms of the world to enshrine you in one eternal thought； to see
a perfect life and an exquisite poem in our rapturous love； to
throw my soul into it； drown my powers； and wring from each hour
the joys it has to give！
〃Ah； my memories of love are crowding back upon me； the clouds of
despair will lift。 Farewell。 I leave you now to be more entirely
yours。 My beloved soul； I look for a line； a word that may restore
my peace of mind。 Let me know whether I really grieved my Pauline；
or whether some uncertain expression of her countenance misled me。
I could not bear to have to reproach myself after a whole life of
happiness； for ever having met you without a smile of love； a
honeyed word。 To grieve the woman I lovePauline； I should count
it a crime。 Tell me the truth； do not put me off with some
magnanimous