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greeted with enthusiasm； and every means were adopted to induce him to stay。 His little whims were carefully studied； his favourite dishes kept in constant readiness。
〃The destination of his goings leaked out at length； and then the two families quarrelled about him over the fence。 My friend accused the newspaper man of having lured him away。 The newspaper man retorted that the poor creature had come to his door wet and starving； and added that he would be ashamed to keep an animal merely to ill…treat it。 They have a quarrel about him twice a week on the average。 It will probably come to blows one of these days。〃
Jephson appeared much surprised by this story。 He remained thoughtful and silent。 I asked him if he would like to hear any more； and as he offered no active opposition I went on。 （Maybe he was asleep； that idea did not occur to me at the time。）
I told him of my grandmother's cat； who； after living a blameless life for upwards of eleven years； and bringing up a family of something like sixty…six； not counting those that died in infancy and the water…butt； took to drink in her old age； and was run over while in a state of intoxication （oh； the justice of it！ ） by a brewer's dray。 I have read in temperance tracts that no dumb animal will touch a drop of alcoholic liquor。 My advice is； if you wish to keep them respectable； don't give them a chance to get at it。 I knew a pony But never mind him； we are talking about my grandmother's cat。
A leaky beer…tap was the cause of her downfall。 A saucer used to be placed underneath it to catch the drippings。 One day the cat； coming in thirsty； and finding nothing else to drink； lapped up a little； liked it； and lapped a little more； went away for half an hour； and came back and finished the saucerful。 Then sat down beside it； and waited for it to fill again。
From that day till the hour she died； I don't believe that cat was ever once quite sober。 Her days she passed in a drunken stupor before the kitchen fire。 Her nights she spent in the beer cellar。
My grandmother； shocked and grieved beyond expression； gave up her barrel and adopted bottles。 The cat； thus condemned to enforced abstinence； meandered about the house for a day and a half in a disconsolate； quarrelsome mood。 Then she disappeared； returning at eleven o'clock as tight as a drum。
Where she went； and how she managed to procure the drink； we never discovered； but the same programme was repeated every day。 Some time during the morning she would contrive to elude our vigilance and escape； and late every evening she would come reeling home across the fields in a condition that I will not sully my pen by attempting to describe。
It was on Saturday night that she met the sad end to which I have before alluded。 She must have been very drunk； for the man told us that； in consequence of the darkness； and the fact that his horses were tired； he was proceeding at little more than a snail's pace。
I think my grandmother was rather relieved than otherwise。 She had been very fond of the cat at one time； but its recent conduct had alienated her affection。 We children buried it in the garden under the mulberry tree； but the old lady insisted that there should be no tombstone； not even a mound raised。 So it lies there； unhonoured； in a drunkard's grave。
I also told him of another cat our family had once possessed。 She was the most motherly thing I have ever known。 She was never happy without a family。 Indeed； I cannot remember her when she hadn't a family in one stage or another。 She was not very particular what sort of a family it was。 If she could not have kittens； then she would content herself with puppies or rats。 Anything that she could wash and feed seemed to satisfy her。 I believe she would have brought up chickens if we had entrusted them to her。
All her brains must have run to motherliness； for she hadn't much sense。 She could never tell the difference between her own children and other people's。 She thought everything young was a kitten。 We once mixed up a spaniel puppy that had lost its own mother among her progeny。 I shall never forget her astonishment when it first barked。 She boxed both its ears； and then sat looking down at it with an expression of indignant sorrow that was really touching。
〃You're going to be a credit to your mother；〃 she seemed to be saying 〃you're a nice comfort to any one's old age； you are； making a row like that。 And look at your ears flopping all over your face。 I don't know where you pick up such ways。〃
He was a good little dog。 He did try to mew； and he did try to wash his face with his paw； and to keep his tail still； but his success was not commensurate with his will。 I do not know which was the sadder to reflect upon； his efforts to become a creditable kitten； or his foster…mother's despair of ever making him one。
Later on we gave her a baby squirrel to rear。 She was nursing a family of her own at the time； but she adopted him with enthusiasm； under the impression that he was another kitten； though she could not quite make out how she had come to overlook him。 He soon became her prime favourite。 She liked his colour； and took a mother's pride in his tail。 What troubled her was that it would cock up over his head。 She would hold it down with one paw； and lick it by the half…hour together； trying to make it set properly。 But the moment she let it go up it would cock again。 I have heard her cry with vexation because of this。
One day a neighbouring cat came to see her； and the squirrel was clearly the subject of their talk。
〃It's a good colour；〃 said the friend； looking critically at the supposed kitten； who was sitting up on his haunches combing his whiskers； and saying the only truthfully pleasant thing about him that she could think of。
〃He's a lovely colour；〃 exclaimed our cat proudly。
〃I don't like his legs much；〃 remarked the friend。
〃No；〃 responded his mother thoughtfully； 〃you're right there。 His legs are his weak point。 I can't say I think much of his legs myself。〃
〃Maybe they'll fill out later on；〃 suggested the friend； kindly。
〃Oh； I hope so；〃 replied the mother； regaining her momentarily dashed cheerfulness。 〃Oh yes； they'll come all right in time。 And then look at his tail。 Now； honestly； did you ever see a kitten with a finer tail？〃
〃Yes； it's a good tail；〃 assented the other； 〃but why do you do it up over his head？〃
〃I don't；〃 answered our cat。 〃It goes that way。 I can't make it out。 I suppose it will come straight as he gets older。〃
〃It will be awkward if it don't；〃 said the friend。
〃Oh； but I'm sure it will；〃 replied our cat。 〃I must lick it more。 It's a tail that wants a good deal of licking； you can see that。〃
And for hours that afternoon； after the other cat had gone； she sat trimming it； and； at the end； when she lifted her paw off it； and it flew back again like a steel spring over the squirrel's head； she sat and gazed at it with feelings that only those among my readers who have been mothers themselves will be able to comprehend。
〃What have I done；〃 she seemed to say〃what have I done that this trouble should come upon me？〃
Jephson roused himself on my completion of this anecdote and sat up。
〃You and your friends appear to have been the possessors of some very remarkable cats；〃 he observed。
〃Yes；〃 I answered； 〃our family has been singularly fortunate in its cats。〃
〃Singularly so；〃 agreed Jephson； 〃I have never met but one man from whom I have heard more wonderful cat talk than； at one time or another； I have from you。〃
〃Oh；〃 I said； not； perhaps without a touch of jealousy in my voice； 〃and who was he？〃
〃He was a seafaring man；〃 replied Jephson。 〃I met him on a Hampstead tram； and we discussed the subject of animal sagacity。
〃'Yes； sir；' he said； 'monkeys is cute。 I've come across monkeys as could give points to one or two lubbers I've sailed under； and elephants is pretty spry； if you can believe all that's told of 'em。 I've heard some tall tales about elephants。 And； of course； dogs has their heads screwed on all right： I don't say as they ain't。 But what I do say is： that for straightfor'ard； level…headed reasoning； give me cats。 You see； sir； a dog； he thinks a powerful deal of a mannever was such a cute thing as a man； in a dog's opinion； and he takes good care that everybody knows it。 Naturally enough； we says a dog is the most intellectual animal there is。 Now a cat； she's got her own opinion about human beings。 She don't say much； but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it。 The consequence is； we says a cat's got no intelligence。 That's where we let our prejudice steer our judgment wrong。 In a matter of plain common sense； there ain't a cat living as couldn't take the lee side of a dog and fly round him。 Now； have you ever noticed a dog at the end of a chain； trying to kill a cat as is sitting washing her face three…quarters of an inch out of his reach？ Of course you have。 Well； who's got the sense out of those two？ The cat knows that it ain't in the nature of steel chains to stretch。 The dog； who ought； you'd think； to know a durned sight more about 'em than she does； is sure they w