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reminded him of her face。 In his clumsy old mahogany writing…desk
were the few letters； brief and peremptory； which she had written
to him at the time when he was watching and listening meanly at
Thorpe Ambrose to please _her。_ And when； turning his back on
these； he sat down wearily on his sofa…bedsteadthere； hanging
over one end of it； was the gaudy cravat of blue satin； which he
had bought because she had told him she liked bright colors； and
which he had never yet had the courage to wear； though he had
taken it out morning after morning with the resolution to put it
on！ Habitually quiet in his actions； habitually restrained in his
language； he now seized the cravat as if it was a living thing
that could feel； and flung it to the other end of the room with
an oath。
The time passed； and still； though his resolution to stand
between Miss Gwilt and her marriage remained unbroken； he was as
far as ever from discovering the means which might lead him to
his end。 The more he thought and thought of it； the darker and
the darker his course in the future looked to him。
He rose again； as wearily as he had sat down； and went to his
cupboard。 〃I'm feverish and thirsty；〃 he said； 〃a cup of tea may
help me。〃 He opened his canister； and measured out his small
allowance of tea； less carefully than usual。 〃Even my own hands
won't serve me to…day！〃 he thought； as he scraped together the
few grains of tea that he had spilled； and put them carefully
back in the canister。
In that fine summer weather； the one fire in the house was the
kitchen fire。 He went downstairs for the boiling water； with his
teapot in his hand。
Nobody but the landlady was in the kitchen。 She was one of the
many English matrons whose path through this world is a path of
thorns； and who take a dismal pleasure； whenever the opportunity
is afforded them； in inspecting the scratched and bleeding feet
of other people in a like condition with themselves。 Her one vice
was of the lighter sortthe vice of curiosity； and among the
many counterbalancing virtues she possessed was the virtue of
greatly respecting Mr。 Bashwood； as a lodger whose rent was
regularly paid； and whose ways were always quiet and civil from
one year's end to another。
〃What did you please to want； sir？〃 asked the landlady。 〃Boiling
water； is it？ Did you ever know the water boil； Mr。 Bashwood；
when you wanted it？ Did you ever see a sulkier fire than that？
I'll put a stick or two in； if you'll wait a little； and give me
the chance。 Dear； dear me； you'll excuse my mentioning it； sir；
but how poorly you do look to…day！〃
The strain on Mr。 Bashwood's mind was beginning to tell。
Something of the helplessness which he had shown at the station
appeared again in his face and manner as he put his teapot on the
kitchen table and sat down。
〃I'm in trouble； ma'am；〃 he said； quietly； 〃and I find trouble
gets harder to bear than it used to be。〃
〃Ah； you may well say that！〃 groaned the landlady。 〃_I'm_ ready
for the undertaker； Mr。 Bashwood； when _my_ time comes； whatever
you may be。 You're too lonely； sir。 When you're in trouble； it's
some helpthough not muchto shift a share of it off on another
person's shoulders。 If your good lady had only been alive now；
sir； what a comfort you would have found her； wouldn't you？〃
A momentary spasm of pain passed across Mr。 Bashwood's face。 The
landlady had ignorantly recalled him to the misfortunes of his
married life。 He had been long since forced to quiet her
curiosity about his family affairs by telling her that he was a
widower； and that his domestic circumstances had not been happy
ones； but he had taken her no further into his confidence than
this。 The sad story which he had related to Midwinter； of his
drunken wife who had ended her miserable life in a lunatic
asylum； was a story which he had shrunk from confiding to the
talkative woman； who would have confided it in her turn to every
one else in the house。
〃What I always say to my husband when he's low； sir；〃 pursued the
landlady； intent on the kettle； 〃is； 'What would you do _now；_
Sam； without Me？' When his temper don't get the better of him （
it will boil directly； Mr。 Bashwood）； he says； 'Elizabeth； I
could do nothing。' When his temper does get the better of him； he
says； 'I should try the public…house； missus； and I'll try it
now。' Ah； I've got _my_ troubles！ A man with grown…up sons and
daughters tippling in a public…house！ I don't call to mind； Mr。
Bashwood； whether _you_ ever had any sons and daughters？ And yet；
now I think of it； I seem to fancy you said yes； you had。
Daughters； sir； weren't they？ and； ah； dear！ dear！ to be sure！
all dead。〃
〃I had one daughter； ma'am；〃 said Mr。 Bashwood； patiently〃only
one； who died before she was a year old。〃
〃Only one！〃 repeated the sympathizing landlady。 〃It's as near
boiling as it ever will be； sir； give me the tea…pot。 Only one！
Ah； it comes heavier （don't it？） when it's an only child？ You
said it was an only child； I think； didn't you； sir？〃
For a moment； Mr。 Bashwood looked at the woman with vacant eyes；
and without attempting to answer her。 After ignorantly recalling
the memory of the wife who had disgraced him； she was now； as
ignorantly； forcing him back on the miserable remembrance of the
son who had ruined and deserted him。 For the first time； since he
had told his story to Midwinter； at their introductory interview
in the great house； his mind reverted once more to the bitter
disappointment and disaster of the past。 Again he thought of the
bygone days； when he had become security for his son； and when
that son's dishonesty had forced him to sell everything he
possessed to pay the forfeit that was exacted when the forfeit
was due。 〃I have a son； ma'am；〃 he said； becoming conscious that
the landlady was looking at him in mute and melancholy surprise。
〃I did my best to help him forward in the world； and he has
behaved very badly to me。〃
〃Did he； now？〃 rejoined the landlady； with an appearance of the
greatest interest。 〃Behaved badly to youalmost broke your
heart； didn't he？ Ah； it will come home to him； sooner or later。
Don't you fear！ 'Honor your father and mother；' wasn't put on
Moses's tables of stone for nothing； Mr。 Bashwood。 Where may he
be； and what is he doing now； sir？〃
The question was in effect almost the same as the question which
Midwinter had put when the circumstances had been described to
him。 As Mr。 Bashwood had answered it on the former occasion； so
（in nearly the same words） he answered it now。
〃My son is in London； ma'am； for all I know to the contrary。 He
was employed； when I last heard of him； in no very creditable
way； at the Private Inquiry Office〃
At those words he suddenly checked himself。 His face flushed； his
eyes brightened； he pushed away the cup which had just been
filled for him； and rose from his seat。 The landlady started back
a step。 There was something in her lodger's face that she had
never seen in it before。
〃I hope I've not offended you； sir；〃 said the woman； recovering
her self…possession； and looking a little too ready to take
offense on her side； at a moment's notice。
〃Far from it； ma'am； far from it！〃 he rejoined； in a strangely
eager； hurried way。 〃I have just remembered somethingsomething
very important。 I must go upstairsit's a letter； a letter； a
letter。 I'll come back to my tea； ma'am。 I beg your pardon； I'm
much obliged to you； you've been very kindI'll say good…by； if
you'll allow me； for the present。〃 To the landlady's amazement；
he cordially shook hands with her； and made for the door； leaving
tea and tea…pot to take care of themselves。
The moment he reached his own room； he locked himself in。 For a
little while he stood holding by the chimney…piece； waiting to
recover his breath。 The moment he could move again； he opened his
writing…desk on the table。 〃That for you； Mr。 Pedgift and Son！〃
he said； with a snap of his fingers as he sat down。 〃I've got a
son too！〃
There was a knock at the doora knock； soft； considerate； and
confidential。 The anxious landlady wished to know whether Mr。
Bashwood was ill； and begged to intimate for the second time that
she earnestly trusted she had given him no offense。
〃No！ no！〃 he called through the door。 〃I'm quite wellI'm
writing； ma'am； I'm writingplease to excuse me。 She's a good
woman； she's an excellent woman；〃 he thought； when the landlady
had retired。 〃I'll make her a little present。 My mind's so
unsettled； I might never have thought of it but for her。 Oh； if
my boy is at the office still！ Oh； if I can only write a letter
that will make him pity me！〃
He took up his pen； and sat thinking anxiously； thinking long；
before he touched the paper。 Slowly； with many patient pauses to
think and think again； and with more than ordinary care to make
his writing legible； he traced these lines：
〃MY DEAR JAMESYou will be surprised； I am afraid； to see my
handwriting。 Pray don't suppose I am going to ask you for money；
or to reproach you for having sold me out of house and home when
you forfeited your security； and I had to pay。 I am willing and
anxious to let by…gones be by…gones； and to forget the past。
〃It is in