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Midwinter； who can steal no time from his newspaper work for his
wife； can steal hours for his friend； and can offer them
unreservedly to my irresistible rival； the new yacht。
〃I shall write no more to…day。 If so lady…like a person as I am
could feel a tigerish tingling all over her to the very tips of
her fingers； I should suspect myself of being in that condition
at the present moment。 But； with _my_ manners and
accomplishments； the thing is； of course； out of the question。 We
all know that a lady has no passions。
〃October 17th。A letter for Midwinter this morning from the
slave…ownersI mean the newspaper people in Londonwhich has
set him at work again harder than ever。 A visit at luncheon…time
and another visit at dinner…time from Armadale。 Conversation at
luncheon about the yacht。 Conversation at dinner about Miss
Milroy。 I have been honored； in regard to that young lady； by an
invitation to go with Armadale to…morrow to the Toledo； and help
him to buy some presents for the beloved object。 I didn't fly out
at himI only made an excuse。 Can words express the astonishment
I feel at my own patience？ No words can express it。
〃October 18th。Armadale came to breakfast this morning； by way
of catching Midwinter before he shuts himself up over his work。
〃Conversation the same as yesterday's conversation at lunch。
Armadale has made his bargain with the agent for hiring the
yacht。 The agent （compassionating his total ignorance of the
language） has helped him to find an interpreter； but can't help
him to find a crew。 The interpreter is civil and willing； but
doesn't understand the sea。 Midwinter's assistance is
indispensable； and Midwinter is requested （and consents！） to work
harder than ever； so as to make time for helping his friend。 When
the crew is found； the merits and defects of the vessel are to be
tried by a cruise to Sicily； with Midwinter on board to give his
opinion。 Lastly （in case she should feel lonely）； the ladies'
cabin is most obligingly placed at the disposal of Midwinter's
wife。 All this was settled at the breakfast…table； and it ended
with one of Armadale's neatly…turned compliments； addressed to
myself： 'I mean to take Neelie sailing with me； when we are
married。 And you have such good taste； you will be able to tell
me everything the ladies' cabin wants between that time and
this。'
〃If some women bring such men as this into the world； ought other
women to allow them to live？ It is a matter of opinion。 _I_ think
not。
〃What maddens me is to see； as I do see plainly； that Midwinter
finds in Armadale's company； and in Armadale's new yacht； a
refuge from me。 He is always in better spirits when Armadale is
here。 He forgets me in Armadale almost as completely as he
forgets me in his work。 And I bear it！ What a pattern wife； what
an excellent Christian I am！
〃October 19th。Nothing new。 Yesterday over again。
〃October 20th。One piece of news。 Midwinter is suffering from
nervous headache； and is working in spite of it； to make time for
his holiday with his friend。
〃October 21st。Midwinter is worse。 Angry and wild and unappr
oachable； after two bad nights； and two uninterrupted days at his
desk。 Under any other circumstances he would take the warning and
leave off。 But nothing warns him now。 He is still working as hard
as ever； for Armadale's sake。 How much longer will my patience
last？
〃October 22d。Signs； last night； that Midwinter is taxing his
brains beyond what his brains will bear。 When he did fall asleep；
he was frightfully restless； groaning and talking and grinding
his teeth。 From some of the words I heard； he seemed at one time
to be dreaming of his life when he was a boy； roaming the country
with the dancing dogs。 At another time he was back again with
Armadale； imprisoned all night on the wrecked ship。 Toward the
early morning hours he grew quieter。 I fell asleep； and； waking
after a short interval； found myself alone。 My first glance round
showed me a light burning in Midwinter's dressing…room。 I rose
softly； and went to look at him。
〃He was seated in the great； ugly； old…fashioned chair； which I
ordered to be removed into the dressing…room out of the way when
we first came here。 His head lay back； and one of his hands hung
listlessly over the arm of the chair。 The other hand was on his
lap。 I stole a little nearer； and saw that exhaustion had
overpowered him while he was either reading or writing； for there
were books； pens； ink； and paper on the table before him。 What
had he got up to do secretly； at that hour of the morning？ I
looked closer at the papers on the table。 They were all neatly
folded （as he usually keeps them）； with one exception； and that
exception； lying open on the rest； was Mr。 Brock's letter。
〃I looked round at him again； after making this discovery； and
then noticed for the first time another written paper； lying
under the hand that rested on his lap。 There was no moving it
away without the risk of waking him。 Part of the open manuscript；
however； was not covered by his hand。 I looked at it to see what
he had secretly stolen away to read； besides Mr。 Brock's letter；
and made out enough to tell me that it was the Narrative of
Armadale's Dream。
〃That second discovery sent me back at once to my bedwith
something serious to think of。
〃Traveling through France； on our way to this place； Midwinter's
shyness was conquered for once； by a very pleasant manan Irish
doctorwhom we met in the railway carriage； and who quite
insisted on being friendly and sociable with us all through the
day's journey。 Finding that Midwinter was devoting himself to
literary pursuits； our traveling companion warned him not to pass
too many hours together at his desk。 'Your face tells me more
than you think；' the doctor said： 'If you are ever tempted to
overwork your brain； you will feel it sooner than most men。 When
you find your nerves playing you strange tricks； don't neglect
the warningdrop your pen。'
〃After my last night's discovery in the dressing…room； it looks
as if Midwinter's nerves were beginning already to justify the
doctor's opinion of them。 If one of the tricks they are playing
him is the trick of tormenting him again with his old
superstitious terrors； there will be a change in our lives here
before long。 I shall wait curiously to see whether the conviction
that we two are destined to bring fatal danger to Armadale takes
possession of Midwinter's mind once more。 If it does； I know what
will happen。 He will not stir a step toward helping his friend to
find a crew for the yacht； and he will certainly refuse to sail
with Armadale； or to let me sail with him； on the trial cruise。
〃October 23d。Mr。 Brock's letter has； apparently； not lost its
influence yet。 Midwinter is working again to…day； and is as
anxious as ever for the holiday…time that he is to pass with his
friend。
〃Two o'clock。Armadale here as usual； eager to know when
Midwinter will be at his service。 No definite answer to be given
to the question yet； seeing that it all depends on Midwinter's
capacity to continue at his desk。 Armadale sat down disappointed；
he yawned； and put his great clumsy hands in his pockets。 I took
up a book。 The brute didn't understand that I wanted to be left
alone； he began again on the unendurable subject of Miss Milroy；
and of all the fine things she was to have when he married her。
Her own riding…horse； her own pony…carriage； her own beautiful
little sitting…room upstairs at the great house； and so on。 All
that I might have had once Miss Milroy is to have now_if I let
her。_
〃Six o'clock。More of the everlasting Armadale！ Half an hour
since； Midwinter came in from his writing； giddy and exhausted。 I
had been pining all day for a little music； and I knew they were
giving 'Norma' at the theater here。 It struck me that an hour or
two at the opera might do Midwinter good； as well as me； and I
said： 'Why not take a box at the San Carlo to…night？' He
answered； in a dull； uninterested manner； that he was not rich
enough to take a box。 Armadale was present； and flourished his
well…filled purse in his usual insufferable way。 '_I'm_ rich
enough； old boy； and it comes to the same thing。' With those
words he took up his hat； and trampled out on his great
elephant's feet to get the box。 I looked after him from the
window as he went down the street。 'Your widow； with her twelve
hundred a year；' I thought to myself； 'might take a box at the
San Carlo whenever she pleased； without being beholden to
anybody。' The empty…headed wretch whistled as he went his way to
the theater； and tossed his loose silver magnificently to every
beggar who ran after him。
* * * * *
〃Midnight。I am alone again at last。 Have I nerve enough to
write the history of this terrible evening； just as it has
passed？ I have nerve enough； at any rate； to turn to a new leaf；
and try。
CHAPTER II。
THE DIARY CONTINUED。
〃WE went to the San Carlo。 Armadale's stupidity showed itself；
even in such a simple matter as taking a box。 He had confounded
an opera with a play； and had chosen a box close to the stage；
with the idea that one's chief object at a mu