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seventeen when I found myself out on the world again。 I had no
friends to receive me； I had no place to go to。 A sailor's life；
after what had happened； was a life I recoiled from in disgust。 I
stood in the crowd on the bridge at Bristol； wondering what I
should do with my freedom now I had got it back。 Whether I had
altered in the prison； or whether I was feeling the change in
character that comes with coming manhood； I don't know； but the
old reckless enjoyment of the old vagabond life seemed quite worn
out of my nature。 An awful sense of loneliness kept me wandering
about Bristol； in horror of the quiet country； till after
nightfall。 I looked at the lights kindling in the parlor windows；
with a miserable envy of the happy people inside。 A word of
advice would have been worth something to me at that time。 Well！
I got it： a policeman advised me to move on。 He was quite right；
what else could I do？ I looked up at the sky； and there was my
old friend of many a night's watch at sea； the north star。 'All
points of the compass are alike to me；' I thought to myself；
'I'll go _your_ way。' Not even the star would keep me company
that night。 It got behind a cloud； and left me alone in the rain
and darkness。 I groped my way to a cart…shed； fell asleep； and
dreamed of old times； when I served my gypsy master and lived
with the dogs。 God！ what I would have given when I woke to have
felt Tommy's little cold muzzle in my hand！ Why am I dwelling on
these things？ Why don't I get on to the end？ You shouldn't
encourage me； sir； by listening； so patiently。 After a week more
of wandering； without hope to help me； or prospects to look to； I
found myself in the streets of Shrewsbury； staring in at the
windows of a book…seller's shop。 An old man came to the shop
door； looked about him； and saw me。 'Do you want a job？' he
asked。 'And are you not above doing it cheap？' The prospect of
having something to do； and some human creature to speak a word
to； tempted me； and I did a day's dirty work in the book…seller's
warehouse for a shilling。 More work followed at the same rate。 In
a week I was promoted to sweep out the shop and put up the
shutters。 In no very long time after； I was trusted to carry the
books out； and when quarter…day came； and the shop…man left； I
took his place。 Wonderful luck！ you will say； here I had found my
way to a friend at last。 I had found my way to one of the most
merciless misers in England； and I had risen in the little world
of Shrewsbury by the purely commercial process of underselling
all my competitors。 The job in the warehouse had been declined at
the price by every idle man in the town； and I did it。 The
regular porter received his weekly pittance under weekly protest。
I took two shillings less； and made no complaint。 The shop…man
gave warning on the ground that he was underfed as well as
underpaid 。 I received half his salary； and lived contentedly on
his reversionary scraps。 Never were two men so well suited to
each other as that book…seller and I。 _His_ one object in life
was to find somebody who would work for him at starvation wages。
_My_ one object in life was to find somebody who would give me an
asylum over my head。 Without a single sympathy in commonwithout
a vestige of feeling of any sort； hostile or friendly； growing up
between us on either sidewithout wishing each other good…night
when we parted on the house stairs； or good…morning when we met
at the shop counter； we lived alone in that house； strangers from
first to last； for two whole years。 A dismal existence for a lad
of my age； was it not？ You are a clergyman and a scholarsurely
you can guess what made the life endurable to me？〃
Mr。 Brock remembered the well…worn volumes which had been found
in the usher's bag。 〃The books made it endurable to you；〃 he
said。
The eyes of the castaway kindled with a new light。
〃Yes！〃 he said； 〃the booksthe generous friends who met me
without suspicionthe merciful masters who never used me ill！
The only years of my life that I can look back on with something
like pride are the years I passed in the miser's house。 The only
unalloyed pleasure I have ever tasted is the pleasure that I
found for myself on the miser's shelves。 Early and late； through
the long winter nights and the quiet summer days； I drank at the
fountain of knowledge； and never wearied of the draught。 There
were few customers to serve； for the books were mostly of the
solid and scholarly kind。 No responsibilities rested on me； for
the accounts were kept by my master； and only the small sums of
money were suffered to pass through my hands。 He soon found out
enough of me to know that my honesty was to be trusted； and that
my patience might be counted on； treat me as he might。 The one
insight into _his_ character which I obtained； on my side；
widened the distance between us to its last limits。 He was a
confirmed opium…eater in secreta prodigal in laudanum； though a
miser in all besides。 He never confessed his frailty； and I never
told him I had found it out。 He had his pleasure apart from me；
and I had my pleasure apart from _him。_ Week after week； month
after month； there we sat； without a friendly word ever passing
between usI； alone with my book at the counter； he； alone with
his ledger in the parlor； dimly visible to me through the dirty
window…pane of the glass door； sometimes poring over his figures；
sometimes lost and motionless for hours in the ecstasy of his
opium trance。 Time passed； and made no impression on us； the
seasons of two years came and went； and found us still unchanged。
One morning； at the opening of the third year； my master did not
appear； as usual； to give me my allowance for breakfast。 I went
upstairs； and found him helpless in his bed。 He refused to trust
me with the keys of the cupboard； or to let me send for a doctor。
I bought a morsel of bread； and went back to my books； with no
more feeling for _him_ （I honestly confess it） than he would have
had for _me_ under the same circumstances。 An hour or two later I
was roused from my reading by an occasional customer of ours； a
retired medical man。 He went upstairs。 I was glad to get rid of
him and return to my books。 He came down again； and disturbed me
once more。 'I don't much like you； my lad；' he said； 'but I think
it my duty to say that you will soon have to shift for yourself。
You are no great favorite in the town； and you may have some
difficulty in finding a new place。 Provide yourself with a
written character from your master before it is too late。' He
spoke to me coldly。 I thanked him coldly on my side； and got my
character the same day。 Do you think my master let me have it for
nothing？ Not he！ He bargained with me on his deathbed。 I was his
creditor for a month's salary； and he wouldn't write a line of my
testimonial until I had first promised to forgive him the debt。
Three days afterward he died； enjoying to the last the happiness
of having overreached his shop…man。 'Aha！' he whispered； when the
doctor formally summoned me to take leave of him； 'I got you
cheap！' Was Ozias Midwinter's stick as cruel as that？ I think
not。 Well！ there I was； out on the world again； but surely with
better prospects this time。 I had taught myself to read Latin；
Greek； and German； and I had got my written character to speak
for me。 All useless！ The doctor was quite right； I was not liked
in the town。 The lower order of the people despised me for
selling my services to the miser at the miser's price。 As for the
better classes； I did with them （God knows how！） what I have
always done with everybody except Mr。 ArmadaleI produced a
disagreeable impression at first sight； I couldn't mend it
afterward； and there was an end of me in respectable quarters。 It
is quite likely I might have spent all my savings； my puny little
golden offspring of two years' miserable growth； but for a school
advertisement which I saw in a local paper。 The heartlessly mean
terms that were offered encouraged me to apply； and I got the
place。 How I prospered in it； and what became of me next； there
is no need to tell you。 The thread of my story is all wound off；
my vagabond life stands stripped of its mystery； and you know the
worst of me at last。〃
A moment of silence followed those closing words。 Midwinter rose
from the window…seat； and came back to the table with the letter
from Wildbad in his hand。
〃My father's confession has told you who I am； and my own
confession has told you what my life has been；〃 he said；
addressing Mr。 Brock； without taking the chair to which the
rector pointed。 〃I promised to make a clean breast of it when I
first asked leave to enter this room。 Have I kept my word？〃
〃It is impossible to doubt it；〃 replied Mr。 Brock。 〃You have
established your claim on my confidence and my sympathy。 I should
be insensible； indeed； if I could know what I now know of your
childhood and your youth； and not feel something of Allan's
kindness for Allan's friend。〃
〃Thank you； sir；〃 said Midwinter； simply and gravely。
He sat down opposite Mr。 Brook at the table for the first time。
〃In a few hours you will have left this place；〃 he proceeded。 〃If
I can help you to leave it w