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out of lesson time and walking time。 It is perfectly easy to see
that she has made the most of her opportunities with young
Armadale （opportunities； by…the…by； which we never calculated
on）； and that she has been stupid enough to let him slip through
her fingers。 When I tell you that she is obliged； for the sake of
appearances； to go with her father and me to the little
entertainments at Thorpe Ambrose； and to see how young Armadale
admires me； you will understand the kind of place I hold in her
affections。 She would try me past all endurance if I didn't see
that I aggravate her by keeping my temper； so； of course； I keep
it。 If I do break out； it will be over our lessonsnot over our
French； our grammar； history； and globesbut over our music。 No
words can say how I feel for her poor piano。 Half the musical
girls in England ought to have their fingers chopped off in the
interests of society； and； if I had my way； Miss Milroy's fingers
should be executed first。
〃As for the major； I can hardly stand higher in his estimation
than I stand already。 I am always ready to make his breakfast；
and his daughter is not。 I can always find things for him when he
loses them； and his daughter can't。 I never yawn when he proses；
and his daughter does。 I like the poor dear harmless old
gentleman； so I won't say a word more about him。
〃Well； here is a fair prospect for the future surely？ My good
Oldershaw； there never was a prospect yet without an ugly place
in it。 _My_ prospect has two ugly places in it。 The name of one
of them is Mrs。 Milroy； and the name of the other is Mr。
Midwinter。
〃Mrs。 Milroy first。 Before I had been five minutes in the
cottage； on the day of my arrival； what do you think she did？ She
sent downstairs and asked to see me。 The message startled me a
little； after hearing from the old lady； in London； that her
daughter…in…law was too great a sufferer to see anybody； but； of
course； when I got her message； I had no choice but to go up
stairs to the sick…room。 I found her bedridden with an incurable
spinal complaint； and a really horrible object to look at； but
with all her wits about her； and； if I am not greatly mistaken；
as deceitful a woman； with as vile a temper； as you could find
anywhere in all your long experience。 Her excessive politeness；
and her keeping her own face in the shade of the bed…curtains
while she contrived to keep mine in the light； put me on my guard
the moment I entered the room。 We were more than half an hour
together； without my stepping into any one of the many clever
little traps she laid for me。 The only mystery in her behavior；
which I failed to see through at the time； was her perpetually
asking me to bring her things （things she evidently did not want）
from different parts of the room。
〃Since then events have enlightened me。 My first suspicions were
raised by overhearing some of the servants' gossip； and I have
been confirmed in my opinion by the conduct of Mrs。 Milroy's
nurse。
〃On the few occasions when I have happened to be alone with the
major； the nurse has also happened to want something of her
master； and has invariably forgotten to announce her appearance
by knocking； at the door。 Do you understand now why Mrs。 Milroy
sent for me the moment I got into the house； and what she wanted
when she kept me going backward and forward； first for one thing
and then for another？ There is hardly an attractive light in
which my face and figure can be seen； in which that woman's
jealous eyes have not studied them already。 I am no longer
puzzled to know why the father and daughter started； and looked
at each other； when I was first presented to them； or why the
servants still stare at me with a mischievous expectation in
their eyes when I ring the bell and ask them to do anything。 It
is useless to disguise the truth； Mother Oldershaw； between you
and me。 When I went upstairs into that sickroom； I marched
blindfold into the clutches of a jealous woman。 If Mrs。 Milroy
_can_ turn me out of the house； Mrs。 Milroy _will；_ and； morning
and night； she has nothing else to do in that bed prison of hers
but to find out the way。
〃In this awkward position； my own cautious conduct is admirably
seconded by the dear old major's perfect insensibility。 His
wife's jealousy of him is as monstrous a delusion as any that
could be found in a mad…house； it is the growth of her own vile
temper； under the aggravation of an incurable illness。 The poor
man hasn't a thought beyond his mechanical pursuits； and I don't
believe he knows at this moment whether I am a handsome woman or
not。 With this chance to help me； I may hope to set the nurse's
intrusions and the mistress's contrivances at defiancefor a
time； at any rate。 But you know what a jealous woman is； and I
think I know what Mrs。 Milroy is； and I own I shall breathe more
freely on the day when young Armadale opens his foolish lips to
some purpose； and sets the major advertising for a new governess。
〃Armadale's name reminds me of Armadale's friend。 There is more
danger threatening in that quarter； and； what is worse； I don't
feel half as well armed beforehand against Mr。 Midwinter as I do
against Mrs。 Milroy。
〃Everything about this man is more or less mysterious； which I
don't like； to begin with。 How does he come to be in the
confidence of the Somersetshire clergyman？ How much has that
clergyman told him？ How is it that he was so firmly persuaded；
when he spoke to me in the park； that I was not the Miss Gwilt of
whom his friend was in search？ I haven't the ghost of an answer
to give to any of those three questions。 I can't even discover
who he is； or how he and young Armadale first became acquainted。
I hate him。 No； I don't； I only want to find out about him。 He is
very young； little and lean； and active and dark； with bright
black eyes which say to me plainly； 'We belong to a man with
brains in his head and a will of his own； a man who hasn't always
been hanging about a country house； in attendance on a fool。'
Yes； I am positively certain Mr。 Midwinter has done something or
suffered something in his past life； young as he is； and I would
give I don't know what to get at it。 Don't resent my taking up so
much space in my writing about him。 He has influence enough over
young Armadale to be a very awkward obstacle in my way； unless I
can secure his good opinion at starting。
〃Well； you may ask； and what is to prevent your securing his good
opinion？ I am sadly afraid； Mother Oldershaw； I have got it on
terms I never bargained for。 I am sadly afraid the man is in love
with me already。
〃Don't toss your head and say； 'Just like her vanity！' After the
horrors I have gone through； I have no vanity left； and a man who
admires me is a man who makes me shudder。 There was a time； I
ownPooh！ what am I writing？ Sentiment； I declare！ Sentiment to
_you！_ Laugh away； my dear。 As for me； I neither laugh nor cry； I
mend my pen； and get on with mywhat do the men call it？my
report。
〃The only thing worth inquiring is； whether I am right or wrong
in my idea of the impression I have made on him。
〃Let me see； I have been four times in his company。 The first
time was in the major's garden； where we met unexpectedly； face
to face。 He stood looking at me； like a man petrified； without
speaking a word。 The effect of my horrid red hair； perhaps？ Quite
likely； let us lay it on my hair。 The second time was in going
over the Thorpe Ambrose grounds； with young Armadale on one side
of me； and my pupil （in the sulks） on the other。 Out comes Mr。
Midwinter to join us； though he had work to do in the steward's
office； which he had never been known to neglect on any other
occasion。 Laziness； possibly？ or an attachment to Miss Milroy？ I
can't say； we will lay it on Miss Milroy； if you like； I only
know he did nothing but look at _me。_ The third time was at the
private interview in the park； which I have told you of already。
I never saw a man so agitated at putting a delicate question to a
woman in my life。 But _that_ might have been only awkwardness；
and his perpetually looking back after me when we had parted
might have been only looking back at the view。 Lay it on the
view； by all means； lay it on the view！ The fourth time was this
very evening； at the little party。 They made me play； and； as the
piano was a good one； I did my best。 All the company crowded
round me； and paid me their compliments （my charming pupil paid
hers； with a face like a cat's just before she spits）； except Mr。
Midwinter。 _He_ waited till it was time to go； and then he caught
me alone for a moment in the hall。 There was just time for him to
take my hand； and say two words。 Shall I tell you _how_ he took
my hand； and what his voice sounded like when he spoke？ Quite
needless！ You have always told me that the late Mr。 Oldershaw
doted on you。 Just recall the first time he took your hand； and
whispered a word or two addressed to your private ear。 To what
did you attribute his behavior that occasion？ I have no doubt； if
you had been playing on the piano in the course of the evening；
you would have attributed it entirely to the music！
〃No！ you may take my word for it； the harm is done。 _T