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demanding to be set free； but he thought it was only his
stupidity and that he ought to behave as every one else did。 He
caught her up and kissed her on the neck。
This kiss was very different from that first thoughtless kiss
behind the lilac bush； and very different to the kiss this
morning in the churchyard。 This was a dreadful kiss； and she felt
it。
〃Oh； what are you doing？〃 she cried； in a tone as if he had
irreparably broken something of priceless value； and ran quickly
away。
He came into the dining…room。 His aunts； elegantly dressed； their
family doctor； and a neighbour were already there。 Everything
seemed so very ordinary； but in Nekhludoff a storm was raging。 He
understood nothing of what was being said and gave wrong answers；
thinking only of Katusha。 The sound of her steps in the passage
brought back the thrill of that last kiss and he could think of
nothing else。 When she came into the room he； without looking
round； felt her presence with his whole being and had to force
himself not to look at her。
After dinner he at once went into his bedroom and for a long time
walked up and down in great excitement； listening to every sound
in the house and expecting to hear her steps。 The animal man
inside him had now not only lifted its head； but had succeeded in
trampling under foot the spiritual man of the days of his first
visit； and even of that every morning。 That dreadful animal man
alone now ruled over him。
Though he was watching for her all day he could not manage to
meet her alone。 She was probably trying to evade him。 In the
evening； however； she was obliged to go into the room next to
his。 The doctor had been asked to stay the night； and she had to
make his bed。 When he heard her go in Nekhludoff followed her；
treading softly and holding his breath as if he were going to
commit a crime。
She was putting a clean pillow…case on the pillow； holding it by
two of its corners with her arms inside the pillow…case。 She
turned round and smiled； not a happy； joyful smile as before； but
in a frightened； piteous way。 The smile seemed to tell him that
what he was doing was wrong。 He stopped for a moment。 There was
still the possibility of a struggle。 The voice of his real love
for her； though feebly； was still speaking of her； her feelings；
her life。 Another voice was saying； 〃Take care I don't let the
opportunity for your own happiness； your own enjoyment； slip by！〃
And this second voice completely stifled the first。 He went up to
her with determination and a terrible； ungovernable animal
passion took possession of him。
With his arm round he made her sit down on the bed； and feeling
that there was something more to be done he sat down beside her。
〃Dmitri Ivanovitch； dear！ please let me go；〃 she said； with a
piteous voice。 〃Matrona Pavlovna is coming；〃 she cried； tearing
herself away。 Some one was really coming to the door。
〃Well； then； I'll come to you in the night；〃 he whispered。
〃You'll be alone？〃
〃What are you thinking of？ On no account。 No； no！〃 she said； but
only with her lips； the tremulous confusion of her whole being
said something very different。
It was Matrona Pavlovna who had come to the door。 She came in
with a。 blanket over her arm； looked reproachfully at Nekhludoff；
and began scolding Katusha for having taken the wrong blanket。
Nekhludoff went out in silence； but he did not even feel ashamed。
He could see by Matrona Pavlovna's face that she was blaming him；
he knew that she was blaming him with reason and felt that he was
doing wrong； but this novel； low animal excitement； having freed
itself of all the old feelings of real love for Katusha； ruled
supreme； leaving room for nothing else。 He went about as if
demented all the evening； now into his aunts'； then back into his
own room； then out into the porch； thinking all the time how he
could meet her alone； but she avoided him； and Matrona Pavlovna
watched her closely。
CHAPTER XVII。
NEKHLUDOFF AND KATUSHA。
AND so the evening passed and night came。 The doctor went to bed。
Nekhludoff's aunts had also retired； and he knew that Matrona
Pavlovna was now with them in their bedroom so that Katusha was
sure to be alone in the maids' sitting…room。 He again went out
into the porch。 It was dark； damp and warm out of doors； and that
white spring mist which drives away the last snow； or is diffused
by the thawing of the last snow； filled the air。 From the river
under the hill； about a hundred steps from the front door； came a
strange sound。 It was the ice breaking。 Nekhludoff came down the
steps and went up to the window of the maids' room； stepping over
the puddles on the bits of glazed snow。 His heart was beating so
fiercely in his breast that he seemed to hear it； his laboured
breath came and went in a burst of long…drawn sighs。 In the
maids' room a small lamp was burning； and Katusha sat alone by
the table； looking thoughtfully in front of her。 Nekhludoff stood
a long time without moving and waited to see what she； not
knowing that she was observed； would do。 For a minute or two she
did not move； then she lifted her eyes； smiled and shook her head
as if chiding herself； then changed her pose and dropped both her
arms on the table and again began gazing down in front of her。 He
stood and looked at her； involuntarily listening to the beating
of his own heart and the strange sounds from the river。 There on
the river； beneath the white mist； the unceasing labour went on；
and sounds as of something sobbing； cracking； dropping； being
shattered to pieces mixed with the tinkling of the thin bits of
ice as they broke against each other like glass。
There he stood； looking at Katusha's serious； suffering face；
which betrayed the inner struggle of her soul； and he felt pity
for her； but； strange though it may seem； this pity only
confirmed him in his evil intention。
He knocked at the window。 She started as if she had received an
electric shock； her whole body trembled； and a look of horror
came into her face。 Then she jumped up； approached the window and
brought her face up to the pane。 The look of terror did not leave
her face even when； holding her hands up to her eyes like
blinkers and peering through the glass； she recognised him。 Her
face was unusually grave； he had never seen it so before。 She
returned his smile； but only in submission to him； there was no
smile in her soul； only fear。 He beckoned her with his hand to
come out into the yard to him。 But she shook her head and
remained by the window。 He brought his face close to the pane and
was going to call out to her； but at that moment she turned to
the door； evidently some one inside had called her。 Nekhludoff
moved away from the window。 The fog was so dense that five steps
from the house the windows could not be seen； but the light from
the lamp shone red and huge out of a shapeless black mass。 And on
the river the same strange sounds went on； sobbing and rustling
and cracking and tinkling。 Somewhere in the fog； not far off； a
cock crowed； another answered； and then others； far in the
village took up the cry till the sound of the crowing blended
into one； while all around was silent excepting the river。 It was
the second time the cocks crowed that night。
Nekhludoff walked up and down behind the corner of the house； and
once or twice got into a puddle。 Then again came up to the
window。 The lamp was still burning； and she was again sitting
alone by the table as if uncertain what to do。 He had hardly
approached the window when she looked up。 He knocked。 Without
looking who it was she at once ran out of the room； and he heard
the outside door open with a snap。 He waited for her near the
side porch and put his arms round her without saying a word。 She
clung to him； put up her face； and met his kiss with her lips。
Then the door again gave the same sort of snap and opened； and
the voice of Matrona Pavlovna called out angrily； 〃Katusha！〃
She tore herself away from him and returned into the maids' room。
He heard the latch click； and then all was quiet。 The red light
disappeared and only the mist remained； and the bustle on the
river went on。 Nekhludoff went up to the window； nobody was to be
seen； he knocked； but got no answer。 He went back into the house
by the front door； but could not sleep。 He got up and went with
bare feet along the passage to her door； next Matrona Pavlovna's
room。 He heard Matrona Pavlovna snoring quietly； and was about to
go on when she coughed and turned on her creaking bed； and his
heart fell； and he stood immovable for about five minutes。 When
all was quiet and she began to snore peacefully again； he went
on； trying to step on the boards that did not creak； and came to
Katusha's door。 There was no sound to be heard。 She was probably
awake； or else he would have heard her breathing。 But as soon as
he had whispered 〃Katusha〃 she jumped up and began to persuade
him； as if angrily； to go away。
〃Open！ Let me in just for a moment！ I implore you！ He hardly knew
what he was saying。
* * * * * * *
When she left him； trembling and silent； giving no answer to his
words； he again went out into the porch and stood tryin