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When she left him； trembling and silent； giving no answer to his
words； he again went out into the porch and stood trying to
understand the meaning of what had happened。
It was getting lighter。 From the river below the creaking and
tinkling and sobbing of the breaking ice came still louder and a
gurgling sound could now also be heard。 The mist had begun to
sink； and from above it the waning moon dimly lighted up
something black and weird。
〃What was the meaning of it all？ Was it a great joy or a great
misfortune that had befallen him？〃 he asked himself。
CHAPTER XVIII。
AFTERWARDS。
The next day the gay； handsome； and brilliant Schonbock joined
Nekhludoff at his aunts' house； and quite won their hearts by his
refined and amiable manner； his high spirits； his generosity； and
his affection for Dmitri。
But though the old ladies admired his generosity it rather
perplexed them； for it seemed exaggerated。 He gave a rouble to
some blind beggars who came to the gate； gave 15 roubles in tips
to the servants； and when Sophia Ivanovna's pet dog hurt his paw
and it bled； he tore his hemstitched cambric handkerchief into
strips （Sophia Ivanovna knew that such handkerchiefs cost at
least 15 roubles a dozen） and bandaged the dog's foot。 The old
ladies had never met people of this kind； and did not know that
Schonbock owed 200；000 roubles which he was never going to pay；
and that therefore 25 roubles more or less did not matter a bit
to him。 Schonbock stayed only one day； and he and Nekhludoff
both； left at night。 They could not stay away from their regiment
any longer； for their leave was fully up。
At the stage which Nekhludoff's selfish mania had now reached he
could think of nothing but himself。 He was wondering whether his
conduct； if found out； would be blamed much or at all； but he did
not consider what Katusha was now going through； and what was
going to happen to her。
He saw that Schonbock guessed his relations to her and this
flattered his vanity。
〃Ah； I see how it is you have taken such a sudden fancy to your
aunts that you have been living nearly a week with them；〃
Schonbock remarked when he had seen Katusha。 〃Well； I don't
wondershould have done the same。 She's charming。〃 Nekhludoff
was also thinking that though it was a pity to go away before
having fully gratified the cravings of his love for her； yet the
absolute necessity of parting had its advantages because it put a
sudden stop to relations it would have been very difficult for
him to continue。 Then he thought that he ought to give her some
money； not for her； not because she might need it； but because it
was the thing to do。
So he gave her what seemed to him a liberal amount； considering
his and her station。 On the day of his departure； after dinner；
he went out and waited for her at the side entrance。 She flushed
up when she saw him and wished to pass by； directing his
attention to the open door of the maids' room by a look； but he
stopped her。
〃I have come to say good…bye；〃 he said； crumbling in his hand an
envelope with a 100…rouble note inside。 〃There； I〃 。 。 。
She guessed what he meant； knit her brows； and shaking her head
pushed his hand away。
〃Take it； oh； you must！〃 he stammered； and thrust the envelope
into the bib of her apron and ran back to his room； groaning and
frowning as if he had hurt himself。 And for a long time he went
up and down writhing as in pain； and even stamping and groaning
aloud as he thought of this last scene。 〃But what else could I
have done？ Is it not what happens to every one？ And if every one
does the same 。 。 。 well I suppose it can't be helped。〃 In this
way he tried to get peace of mind； but in vain。 The recollection
of what had passed burned his conscience。 In his soulin the
very depths of his soulhe knew that he had acted in a base；
cruel； cowardly manner； and that the knowledge of this act of his
must prevent him； not only from finding fault with any one else；
but even from looking straight into other people's eyes； not to
mention the impossibility of considering himself a splendid；
noble； high…minded fellow； as he did and had to do to go on
living his life boldly and merrily。 There was only one solution
of the problemi。e。； not to think about it。 He succeeded in doing
so。 The life he was now entering upon； the new surroundings； new
friends； the war； all helped him to forget。 And the longer he
lived； the less he thought about it； until at last he forgot it
completely。
Once only； when； after the war； he went to see his aunts in hopes
of meeting Katusha； and heard that soon after his last visit she
had left； and that his aunts had heard she had been confined
somewhere or other and had gone quite to the bad； his heart
ached。 According to the time of her confinement； the child might
or might not have been his。 His aunts said she had gone wrong；
that she had inherited her mother's depraved nature； and he was
pleased to hear this opinion of his aunts'。 It seemed to acquit
him。 At first he thought of trying to find her and her child； but
then； just because in the depths of his soul he felt so ashamed
and pained when thinking about her； he did not make the necessary
effort to find her； but tried to forget his sin again and ceased
to think about it。 And now this strange coincidence brought it
all back to his memory； and demanded from him the acknowledgment
of the heartless； cruel cowardice which had made it possible for
him to live these nine years with such a sin on his conscience。
But he was still far from such an acknowledgment； and his only
fear was that everything might now be found out； and that she or
her advocate might recount it all and put him to shame before
every one present。
CHAPTER XIX。
THE TRIALRESUMPTION。
In this state of mind Nekhludoff left the Court and went into the
jurymen's room。 He sat by the window smoking all the while； and
hearing what was being said around him。
The merry merchant seemed with all his heart to sympathise with
Smelkoff's way of spending his time。 〃There； old fellow； that was
something like！ Real Siberian fashion！ He knew what he was about；
no fear！ That's the sort of wench for me。〃
The foreman was stating his conviction； that in some way or other
the expert's conclusions were the important thing。 Peter
Gerasimovitch was joking about something with the Jewish clerk；
and they burst out laughing。 Nekhludoff answered all the
questions addressed to him in monosyllables and longed only to be
left in peace。
When the usher； with his sideways gait； called the jury back to
the Court； Nekhludoff was seized with fear； as if he were not
going to judge； but to be judged。 In the depth of his soul he
felt that he was a scoundrel； who ought to be ashamed to look
people in the face； yet； by sheer force of habit； he stepped on
to the platform in his usual self…possessed manner； and sat down；
crossing his legs and playing with his pince…nez。
The prisoners had also been led out； and were now brought in
again。 There were some new faces in the Court witnesses； and
Nekhludoff noticed that Maslova could not take her eyes off a
very fat woman who sat in the row in front of the grating； very
showily dressed in silk and velvet； a high hat with a large bow
on her head； and an elegant little reticule on her arm； which was
bare to the elbow。 This was； as he subsequently found out； one of
the witnesses； the mistress of the establishment to which Maslova
had belonged。
The examination of the witnesses commenced： they were asked their
names； religion； etc。 Then； after some consultation as to whether
the witnesses were to be sworn in or not； the old priest came in
again； dragging his legs with difficulty； and； again arranging
the golden cross on his breast； swore the witnesses and the
expert in the same quiet manner； and with the same assurance that
he was doing something useful and important。
The witnesses having been sworn； all but Kitaeva； the keeper of
the house； were led out again。 She was asked what she knew about
this affair。 Kitaeva nodded her head and the big hat at every
sentence and smiled affectedly。 She gave a very full and
intelligent account； speaking with a strong German accent。 First
of all； the hotel servant Simeon； whom she knew； came to her
establishment on behalf of a rich Siberian merchant； and she sent
Lubov back with him。 After a time Lubov returned with the
merchant。 The merchant was already somewhat intoxicatedshe
smiled as she said thisand went on drinking and treating the
girls。 He was short of money。 He sent this same Lubov to his
lodgings。 He had taken a 〃predilection〃 to her。 She looked at the
prisoner as she said this。
Nekhludoff thought he saw Maslova smile here； and this seemed
disgusting to him。 A strange； indefinite feeling of loathing；
mingled with suffering； arose in him。
〃And what was your opinion of Maslova？〃 asked the blushing and
confused applicant for a judicial post； appointed to act as
Maslova's advocate。
〃Zee ferry pesht；〃 answered Kitaeva。 〃Zee yoong voman is etucated
and elecant。 She was prought up in a coot family and can reat
French。 She tid have a trop too moch sometimes； put nefer forcot
herse