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〃So had it lasted；〃 concludes the Wanderer； 〃so had it lasted； as in bitter protracted Death…agony； through long years。 The heart within me； unvisited by any heavenly dew…drop； was smouldering in sulphurous； slow…consuming fire。 Almost since earliest memory I had shed no tear； or once only when I； murmuring half…audibly； recited Faust's Death…song； that wild _Selig der den er im Siegesglanze findet_ （Happy whom _he_ finds in Battle's splendor）； and thought that of this last Friend even I was not forsaken； that Destiny itself could not doom me not to die。 Having no hope； neither had I any definite fear； were it of Man or of Devil： nay； I often felt as if it might be solacing； could the Arch…Devil himself； though in Tartarean terrors； but rise to me； that I might tell him a little of my mind。 And yet； strangely enough； I lived in a continual； indefinite； pining fear； tremulous； pusillanimous； apprehensive of I knew not what： it seemed as if all things in the Heavens above and the Earth beneath would hurt me； as if the Heavens and the Earth were but boundless jaws of a devouring monster； wherein I； palpitating； waited to be devoured。
〃Full of such humor； and perhaps the miserablest man in the whole French Capital or Suburbs； was I； one sultry Dog… day； after much perambulation； toiling along the dirty little _Rue Saint…Thomas de l'Enfer_； among civic rubbish enough； in a close atmosphere； and over pavements hot as Nebuchadnezzar's Furnace； whereby doubtless my spirits were little cheered； when； all at once； there rose a Thought in me； and I asked myself： 'What _art_ thou afraid of？ Wherefore； like a coward； dost thou forever pip and whimper； and go cowering and trembling？ Despicable biped！ what is the sum…total of the worst that lies before thee？ Death？ Well； Death； and say the pangs of Tophet too； and all that the Devil and Man may； will or can do against thee！ Hast thou not a heart； canst thou not suffer whatsoever it be； and； as a Child of Freedom； though outcast； trample Tophet itself under thy feet； while it consumes thee？ Let it come； then； I will meet it and defy it！' And as I so thought； there rushed like a stream of fire over my whole soul； and I shook base Fear away from me forever。 I was strong； of unknown strength； a spirit； almost a god。 Ever from that time； the temper of my misery was changed： not Fear or whining Sorrow was it； but Indignation and grim fire…eyed Defiance。
〃Thus had the EVERLASTING NO （_das ewige Nein_） pealed authoritatively through all the recesses of my Being； of my ME； and then was it that my whole ME stood up； in native God…created majesty； and with emphasis recorded its Protest。 Such a Protest； the most important transaction in Life； may that same Indignation and Defiance； in a psychological point of view； be fitly called。 The Everlasting No had said： 'Behold； thou art fatherless； outcast； and the Universe is mine （the Devil's）；' to which my whole Me now made answer： '_I_ am not thine； but Free； and forever hate thee！'
〃It is from this hour that I incline to date my Spiritual New…birth； or Baphometic Fire…baptism； perhaps I directly thereupon began to be a Man。〃
CHAPTER VIII。 CENTRE OF INDIFFERENCE。
Though； after this 〃Baphometic Fire…baptism〃 of his； our Wanderer signifies that his Unrest was but increased； as； indeed； 〃Indignation and Defiance；〃 especially against things in general； are not the most peaceable inmates； yet can the Psychologist surmise that it was no longer a quite hopeless Unrest； that henceforth it had at least a fixed centre to revolve round。 For the fire…baptized soul； long so scathed and thunder…riven； here feels its own Freedom； which feeling is its Baphometic Baptism： the citadel of its whole kingdom it has thus gained by assault； and will keep inexpugnable； outwards from which the remaining dominions； not indeed without hard battling； will doubtless by degrees be conquered and pacificated。 Under another figure； we might say； if in that great moment； in the _Rue Saint…Thomas de l'Enfer_； the old inward Satanic School was not yet thrown out of doors； it received peremptory judicial notice to quit；whereby； for the rest； its howl…chantings； Ernulphus…cursings； and rebellious gnashings of teeth； might； in the mean while； become only the more tumultuous； and difficult to keep secret。
Accordingly； if we scrutinize these Pilgrimings well； there is perhaps discernible henceforth a certain incipient method in their madness。 Not wholly as a Spectre does Teufelsdrockh now storm through the world； at worst as a spectra…fighting Man； nay who will one day be a Spectre…queller。 If pilgriming restlessly to so many 〃Saints' Wells；〃 and ever without quenching of his thirst； he nevertheless finds little secular wells； whereby from time to time some alleviation is ministered。 In a word； he is now； if not ceasing； yet intermitting to 〃eat his own heart；〃 and clutches round him outwardly on the NOT…ME for wholesomer food。 Does not the following glimpse exhibit him in a much more natural state？
〃Towns also and Cities； especially the ancient； I failed not to look upon with interest。 How beautiful to see thereby； as through a long vista； into the remote Time； to have； as it were； an actual section of almost the earliest Past brought safe into the Present； and set before your eyes！ There； in that old City； was a live ember of Culinary Fire put down； say only two thousand years ago； and there； burning more or less triumphantly； with such fuel as the region yielded； it has burnt； and still burns； and thou thyself seest the very smoke thereof。 Ah！ and the far more mysterious live ember of Vital Fire was then also put down there； and still miraculously burns and spreads； and the smoke and ashes thereof （in these Judgment…Halls and Churchyards）； and its bellows…engines （in these Churches）； thou still seest； and its flame； looking out from every kind countenance； and every hateful one； still warms thee or scorches thee。
〃Of Man's Activity and Attainment the chief results are aeriform； mystic； and preserved in Tradition only： such are his Forms of Government； with the Authority they rest on； his Customs； or Fashions both of Cloth…habits and of Soul…habits； much more his collective stock of Handicrafts； the whole Faculty he has acquired of manipulating Nature： all these things； as indispensable and priceless as they are； cannot in any way be fixed under lock and key； but must flit； spirit…like； on impalpable vehicles； from Father to Son； if you demand sight of them； they are nowhere to be met with。 Visible Ploughmen and Hammermen there have been； ever from Cain and Tubal…cain downwards： but where does your accumulated Agricultural； Metallurgic； and other Manufacturing SKILL lie warehoused？ It transmits itself on the atmospheric air； on the sun's rays （by Hearing and by Vision）； it is a thing aeriform； impalpable； of quite spiritual sort。 In like manner； ask me not； Where are the LAWS； where is the GOVERNMENT？ In vain wilt thou go to Schonbrunn； to Downing Street； to the Palais Bourbon； thou findest nothing there but brick or stone houses； and some bundles of Papers tied with tape。 Where； then； is that same cunningly devised almighty GOVERNMENT of theirs to be laid hands on？ Everywhere； yet nowhere： seen only in its works； this too is a thing aeriform； invisible； or if you will； mystic and miraculous。 So spiritual （_geistig_） is our whole daily Life： all that we do springs out of Mystery； Spirit； invisible Force； only like a little Cloud…image； or Armida's Palace； air…built； does the Actual body itself forth from the great mystic Deep。
〃Visible and tangible products of the Past； again； I reckon up to the extent of three： Cities； with their Cabinets and Arsenals； then tilled Fields； to either or to both of which divisions Roads with their Bridges may belong； and thirdlyBooks。 In which third truly； the last invented； lies a worth far surpassing that of the two others。 Wondrous indeed is the virtue of a true Book。 Not like a dead city of stones； yearly crumbling； yearly needing repair； more like a tilled field； but then a spiritual field： like a spiritual tree； let me rather say； it stands from year to year； and from age to age （we have Books that already number some hundred and fifty human ages）； and yearly comes its new produce of leaves （Commentaries； Deductions； Philosophical； Political Systems； or were it only Sermons； Pamphlets； Journalistic Essays）； every one of which is talismanic and thaumaturgic； for it can persuade men。 O thou who art able to write a Book； which once in the two centuries or oftener there is a man gifted to do； envy not him whom they name City…builder； and inexpressibly pity him whom they name Conqueror or City…burner！ Thou too art a Conqueror and Victor； but of the true sort； namely over the Devil： thou too hast built what will outlast all marble and metal； and be a wonder…bringing City of the Mind； a Temple and Seminary and Prophetic Mount； whereto all kindreds of the Earth will pilgrim。 Fool！ why journeyest thou wearisomely； in thy antiquarian fervor； to gaze on the stone pyramids of Geeza； or the clay ones of Sacchara？ These stand there； as I can tell thee； idle and inert； looking over the Desert； foolishly eno