按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
〃You couldn't have kept the Kibo one that you liked?〃
〃I told you I tried to find it。 But if you want to rewrite it I can tell it to you word for word。〃
〃That will be fun。〃
〃It will be really。 You'll see。 Do you want me to tell it to you now? We could if you want。〃
〃No;〃 David said。 〃Not just now。 Would you write it though?〃
〃I can't write things; David。 You know that。 But I can tell it to you anytime you want。 You don't really care about the others do you? They were worthless。〃
〃Why did you do it really?〃
〃To help you。 You can go to Africa and write them again when your viewpoint is more mature。 The country can't be changed very much。 I think it would be nice if you wrote about Spain instead though。 You said the country was almost the same as Africa and there you'd have the advantage of a civilized language。〃
David poured himself a whiskey and found a bottle of Perrier; uncapped it and poured some in the glass。 He remembered the day they had passed the place where they bottled Perrier water on the plain on the way to Aigues Mortes and how—〃Let's not talk about writing;〃 he said to Catherine。
〃I like to;〃 Catherine said。 'When it's constructive and has some valid purpose。 You always wrote so well until you started
those stories。 The worst thing was the dirt and the flies and the cruelty and the bestiality。 You seemed almost to grovel in it。 That horrible one about the massacre in the crater and the heart lessness of your own father。〃
〃Can we not talk about them?〃 David asked。
〃I want to talk about them;〃 Catherine said。 〃I want to make you realize why it was necessary to burn them。〃
'Write it out;〃 David said。 〃I'd rather not hear it now。〃
〃But I can't write things; David。〃
〃You will;〃 David said。
〃No。 But I'll tell them to someone who can write them;〃 Catherine said。 〃If you were friendly you'd write them for me。 If you really loved me you'd be happy to。〃
〃All I want to do is kill you;〃 David said。 〃And the only reason I don't do it is because you are crazy。
〃You can't talk to me like that; David。〃
〃No?〃
〃No; you can't。 You can't。 Do you hear me?〃
〃I hear you。
〃Then hear me say you can't say such things。 You can't say horrible things like that to me。〃
〃I hear you;〃 David said。
〃You can't say such things。 I won't stand for it。 I'll divorce you。
〃That would be very welcome。〃
〃Then I'll stay married to you and never give you a divorce。〃
〃That would be pretty。〃
〃I'll do anything I want to you。
〃You have。〃
〃I'll kill you。
〃I wouldn't give a shit;〃 David said。
〃You can't even talk like a gentleman at a time like this。〃
〃What would a gentleman say at a time like this?〃
〃That he was sorry。〃
222 223
。 。
〃All right;〃 David said。 〃I'm sorry。 I'm sorry I ever met you。 I'm sorry I ever married you—〃
〃So am I。〃
〃Shut up please。 You can tell it to somebody who can write it down。 I'm sorry your mother ever met your father and that they ever made you。 I'm sorry you were born and that you grew up。 I'm sorry for everything we ever did good or bad—〃
〃You're not。〃
〃No;〃 he said。 〃I'll shut up。 I didn't mean to make a speech。〃
〃You're just really sorry for yourself。〃
〃Possibly;〃 David said。 〃But shit; Devil; why did you have to burn them? The stories?〃
〃I had to; David;〃 she said。 〃I'm sorry if you don't understand。〃
He had understood really before he had asked her the question and the question had been; he realized; a rhetorical one。 He dis liked rhetoric and distrusted those who used it and he was ashamed to have fallen into it。 He drank the whiskey and Perrier slowly while he thought how untrue it was that everything that was understood was forgiven and he tightened his own discipline as conscientiously as he would have worked in the old days with the mechanic and the armorer going over the plane; the engine and his guns。 It was not necessary then because they did the work perfectly but it was one way of not thinking; and it was; to use a wet word; comforting。 Now it was necessary because what he had said to Catherine about killing her he had said quite truly and not rhetorically。 He was ashamed of the speech which had followed the statement。 But there was nothing he could do about the statement which was truly made except tighten his discipline so that he would have it in case he began to lose control。 He poured himself another whiskey and put in Perrier
again and watched the small bubbles form and break。 God damn her to hell; he thought。
〃I'm sorry to be stuffy;〃 he said。 〃I understand of course。
〃I'm so glad; David;〃 she said。 〃I'm going away in the morning。〃
〃Where?〃
〃To Hendaye and then to Paris to see about artists for the book。〃
〃Really?〃
〃Yes。 I think I should。 We've wasted time as it is and today I made so much progress that I just need to keep on。〃
〃How are you going?〃
〃With the Bug。〃
〃You shouldn't drive alone。〃
〃I want to。〃
〃You shouldn't; Devil。 Really。 I couldn't let you。〃
〃Can I go on the train? There's one to Bayonne。 I can rent a car there or in Biarritz。〃
〃Can we talk about it in the morning?〃
〃I want to talk about it now。〃
〃You shouldn't go; Devil。〃
〃I'm going;〃 she said。 〃You're not going to stop me。
〃I'm only thinking about the best way。〃
〃No; you're not。 You're trying to stop me。
〃If you wait we'll go together。〃
〃I don't want to go together。 I want to go tomorrow and in the Bug。 If you don't agree I'll go by train。 You can't stop anyone from going on the train。 I'm of age and because I'm married to you doesn't make me your slave or your chattel。 I'm going and you can't stop me。
〃Will you be coming back?〃
〃I plan to。〃
225
。 。
〃I see。
〃You don't see but it doesn't make any difference。 This is a reasoned and coordinated project。 These things aren't just tossed off—〃
〃Into a wastebasket;〃 David said and remembered the discipline and sipped the whiskey and Perrier。
〃Are you going to see your lawyers in Paris?〃 he asked。
〃If I have any business with them。 I usually see my lawyers。 Just because you don't have any lawyers doesn't mean everyone else doesn't have to see their lawyers。 Do you want my lawyers to do anything for you?〃
〃No;〃 David said。 〃Fuck your lawyers。〃
〃Do you have plenty of money?〃
〃I'm quite all right on money。
〃Really; David? Weren't the stories worth a lot? It's bothered me terribly and I know my responsibility。 I'll find out and do exactly what I should。〃
〃You'll what?〃
〃Do exactly what I should。〃
〃Just what is it you propose to do?〃
〃I'll have their value determined and I'll have twice that paid into your bank。〃
〃Sounds very generous;〃 David said。 〃You were always generous。
〃I want to be just; David; and it's possible that they were worth; financially; much more than they would be appraised at。〃
〃Who appraises these things?〃
〃There must be people who do。 There are people who appraise everything。〃
'What sort of people?〃
〃I wouldn't know; David。 But I can imagine such people as the editor of the Atlantic Monthly; Harper's; La Nouvelle Revue Francaise。〃
〃I'm going out for a while;〃 David said。 〃Do you feel all right?〃
〃Except for the fact that I feel I've probably done a great wrong to you that I must try to set right I feel very well;〃 Catherine said。 〃That was one reason I was going to Paris。 I didn't want to tell you。〃
〃Let's not discuss casualties;〃 David said。 〃So you want to go on the train?〃
〃No。 I want to go in the Bug。〃
〃All right。 Go in the Bug。 Just drive carefully and don't pass on hills。〃
〃I'll drive the way you taught me and I'll pretend you're with me all the time and talk to you and tell us stories and make up stories about how I saved your life。 I always make those up。 And with you it will all seem so much shorter and effortless and the speed won't seem fast。 I'm going to have fun。〃
〃Good;〃 said David。 〃Take it as easy as you can。 Sleep at Nimes the first night unless you get off early。 They know us at the Imperator。〃
〃I thought I'd get to Carcassonne。〃
〃No; Devil; please。〃
〃Perhaps I can get off early and make Carcassonne。 I'd go by Aries and Montpellier and not lose time by Nimes。〃
〃If you get off late stop at Nimes。〃
〃It seems so babyish;〃 she said。
〃I'll drive with you;〃 he said。 〃I should。〃
〃No; please。 It's important that I do this by myself。 It really is。 I wouldn't have you。〃
〃All right;〃 he said。 〃But I ought to go。〃
〃Please don't。 You must have confidence in me; David。 I'll drive carefully and I'll drive it right straight through。〃
〃You couldn't; Devil。 It gets dark early now。
〃You mustn't worry。 You're sweet to let me go;〃 Catherine said。 〃But you always did。 If I did anything I shouldn't I hope
226 227
。
you can forgive me。 I'll miss you terribly。 I miss you already。 Next time we'll drive it together。〃
〃You've had a very busy day;〃 David said。 〃You're tired。 At least let me run your Bugatti down to town and back and give it a check。〃
He stopped at Marita's door and said; 〃Do you want to go for a ride?〃
〃Yes;〃 she said。
〃Come on then;〃 he told her。
Chapter Twenty … seven DAVID GOT INTO THE CAR and Marita climbed in beside him and he put the car at a stretch of road where the sand drifted across from the beach and then throttled back and hel