按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
〃And I；〃 said Miaow； lifting up her voice； 〃I am the horror and haunter
of the night season。 When I pass like the night wind over the roofs of the
houses men shudder in their beds and tremble。 When they hear my voice
as I creep stealthily along their balconies they cry to their gods for succor。
They arise； and from their windows they offer me their priceless
household treasuresthe sacred vessels dedicated to their great god Shiv
which they call 'Shivin Mugs'the Kloes Brosh； the Boo…jak； urging me to
fly them！ And yet；〃 said Miaow mournfully； 〃it is but my love…song！
Think ye what they would do if I were on the war…path。〃
Another dead silence fell on the pool。 Then arose that strange；
mysterious； indefinable Thing； known as 〃The Scent。〃 The animals
sniffed。
〃It heralds the approach of the Stalkiesthe most famous of British
Skool Boaz；〃 said the Moo Kow。 〃They have just placed a decaying
guinea…pig； two white mice in an advanced state of decomposition； and a
single slice of Limburger cheese in the bed of their tutor。 They had
previously skillfully diverted the drains so that they emptied into the
drawing…room of the head…master。 They have just burned down his house
in an access of noble zeal； and are fighting among themselves for the spoil。
Hark！ do ye hear them？〃
A wild medley of shrieks and howls had arisen； and an irregular mob
of strange creatures swept out of the distance toward the pool。 Some were
like pygmies； some had bloody noses。 Their talk consisted of feverish；
breathless ejaculations；a gibberish in which the words 〃rot；〃 〃oach；〃 and
〃giddy〃 were preeminent。 Some were exciting themselves by chewing a
kind of 〃bhang〃 made from the plant called pappahmint； others had their
faces streaked with djam。
〃But who is this they are ducking in the pool？〃 asked Pi Bol。
〃It is one who has foolishly and wantonly conceived that his parents
have sent him here to study；〃 said the Moo Kow； 〃but that is against the
rules of the Stalkies； who accept study only as a punishment。〃
〃Then these be surely the 'Bander Log'the monkey folkof whom the
good Rhuddyidd has told us；〃 said a Gee Gee〃the ones who have no
purposeand forget everything。〃
67
… Page 68…
NEW BURLESQUES
〃Fool！〃 said the Moo Kow。 〃Know ye not that the great Rhuddyidd
has said that the Stalkies become Major…Generals； V。 C。's； and C。 B's of the
English？ Truly； they are great。 Look now； ye shall see one of the
greatest traits of the English Stalky。〃
One of the pygmy Stalkies was offering a bun to a larger one； who
hesitated； but took it coldly。
〃Behold！ it is one of the greatest traits of this mighty race not to show
any emotion。 He WOULD take the bunhe HAS taken it！ He is
pleasedbut he may not show it。 Observe him eat。〃
The taller Stalky； after eating the bun； quietly kicked the giver；
knocked off his hat； and turned away with a calm； immovable face。
〃Good！〃 said the Moo Kow。 〃Ye would not dream that he was
absolutely choking with grateful emotion？〃
〃We would not；〃 said the animals。
〃But why are they all running back the way they came？〃 asked Pi Bol。
〃They are going back to punishment。 Great is its power。 Have ye
not heard the gospel of Rhuddyidd the mighty？ 'Force is everything！
Gentleness won't wash； courtesy is deceitful。 Politeness is foreign。 Be ye
beaten that ye may beat。 Pass the kick on。'〃
But here he was interrupted by the appearance of three soldiers who
were approaching the watering…place。
〃Ye are now；〃 said the Moo Kow； 〃with the main guard。 The first is
Bleareyed； who carries a raven in a cage； which he has stolen from the
wife of a deputy commissioner。 He will paint the bird snow white and
sell it as a dove to the same lady。 The second is Otherwise； who is
dragging a small garden engine； of which he has despoiled a native
gardener； whom he has felled with a single blow。 The third is Mulledwiney；
swinging a cut…glass decanter of sherry which he has just snatched from
the table of his colonel。 Mulledwiney and Otherwise will play the engine
upon Bleareyed； who is suffering from heat apoplexy and djim…djams。〃
The three soldiers seated themselves in the pool。
〃They are going to tell awful war stories now；〃 said the Moo Kow；
〃stories that are large and strong！ Some people are shocked others like
'em。〃
68
… Page 69…
NEW BURLESQUES
Then he that was called Mulledwiney told a story。 In the middle of it
Miaow got up from the limb of the tree； coughed slightly； and put her paw
delicately over her mouth。 〃You must excuse me；〃 she said faintly。 〃I
am taken this way sometimesand I have left my salts at home。 Thanks！
I can get down myself！〃 The next moment she had disappeared； but was
heard coughing in the distance。
Mulledwiney winked at his companions and continued his story：
〃Wid that we wor in the thick av the foight。 Whin I say 'thick' I mane
it； sorr！ We wor that jammed together； divil a bit cud we shoot or cut！
At fur…rest； I had lashed two mushkits together wid the baynits out so； like
a hay fork； and getting the haymaker's lift on thim； I just lifted two
Paythians outone an aych baynit and passed 'em； aisy…like； over me
head to the rear rank for them to finish。 But what wid the blud gettin'
into me ois； I was blinded； and the pressure kept incraysin' until me arrums
was thrussed like a fowl to me sides； and sorra a bit cud I move but me
jaws！〃
〃And bloomin' well you knew how to use them；〃 said Otherwise。
〃Thrue for youthough ye don't mane it！〃 said Mulledwiney； playfully
tapping Otherwise on the head with a decanter till the cut glass slowly
shivered。 〃So； begorra！ there wor nothing left for me to do but to ATE
thim！ Wirra！ but it was the crooel worruk。〃
〃Excuse me； my lord；〃 interrupted the gasping voice of Pi Bol as he
began to back from the pool； 〃I am but a horse； I know； and being built in
that waynaturally have the stomach of oneyet； really； my lord； thiser〃…
… And his voice was gone。
The next moment he had disappeared。 Mulledwiney looked around
with affected concern。
〃Save us！ But we've cleaned out the Jungle！ Sure； there's not a
baste left but ourselves！〃
It was true。 The watering…place was empty。 Moo Kow； Miaow； and
the Gee Gees had disappeared。 Presently there was a booming crash and
a long； deep rumbling among the distant hills。 Then they knew they were
near the old Moulmein Pagoda； and the dawn had come up like thunder
out of China 'cross the bay。 It always came up that way there。 The
69
… Page 70…
NEW BURLESQUES
strain was too great； and day was actually breaking。
〃ZUT…SKI〃
THE PROBLEM OF A WICKED FEME SOLE
BY MRE CRLLI
I
The great pyramid towered up from the desert with its apex toward
the moon which hung in the sky。 For centuries it had stood thus；
disdaining the aid of gods or man； being； as the Sphinx herself observed；
able to stand up for itself。 And this was no small praise from that
sublime yet mysterious female who had seen the ages come and go；
empires rise and fall； novelist succeed novelist； and who； for eons and
cycles the cynosure and centre of admiration and men's idolatrous worship；
had yetwonderful for a woman through it all kept her head； which now
alone remained to survey calmly the present。 Indeed； at that moment that
magnificent and peaceful face seemed to have lostwith a few
unimportant features its usual expression of speculative wisdom and