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BLUFF。 Damn your morals； I must revenge the affront done to my honour。 ＇In a low voice。＇
SIR JO。 Ay； do； do； captain； if you think fitting。 You may dispose of your own flesh as you think fitting； d'ye see； but； by the Lord Harry； I'll leave you。 ＇Stealing away upon his tip…toes。＇
BLUFF。 Prodigious！ What； will you forsake your friend in extremity？ You can't in honour refuse to carry him a challenge。 ＇Almost whispering； and treading softly after him。＇
SIR JO。 Prithee； what do you see in my face that looks as if I would carry a challenge？ Honour is your province； captain； take it。 All the world know me to be a knight； and a man of worship。
SET。 I warrant you； sir； I'm instructed。
SHARP。 Impossible！ Araminta take a liking to a fool？ ＇Aloud。＇
SET。 Her head runs on nothing else； nor she can talk of nothing else。
SHARP。 I know she commanded him all the while we were in the Park； but I thought it had been only to make Vainlove jealous。
SIR JO。 How's this！ Good bully； hold your breath and let's hearken。 Agad； this must be I。
SHARP。 Death； it can't be。 An oaf； an idiot； a wittal。
SIR JO。 Ay； now it's out； 'tis I； my own individual person。
SHARP。 A wretch that has flown for shelter to the lowest shrub of mankind； and seeks protection from a blasted coward。
SIR JO。 That's you； bully back。 ＇BLUFFE frowns upon SIR JOSEPH。＇
SHARP。 She has given Vainlove her promise to marry him before to… morrow morning。 Has she not？ ＇To SETTER。＇
SET。 She has； sir； and I have it in charge to attend her all this evening； in order to conduct her to the place appointed。
SHARP。 Well； I'll go and inform your master； and do you press her to make all the haste imaginable。
SCENE VII。
SETTER； SIR JOSEPH； BLUFFE。
SET。 Were I a rogue now； what a noble prize could I dispose of！ A goodly pinnace； richly laden； and to launch forth under my auspicious convoy。 Twelve thousand pounds and all her rigging； besides what lies concealed under hatches。 Ha！ all this committed to my care！ Avaunt； temptation！ Setter； show thyself a person of worth； be true to thy trust； and be reputed honest。 Reputed honest！ Hum： is that all？ Ay； for to be honest is nothing； the reputation of it is all。 Reputation！ what have such poor rogues as I to do with reputation？ 'tis above us； and for men of quality； they are above it； so that reputation is even as foolish a thing as honesty。 And； for my part； if I meet Sir Joseph with a purse of gold in his hand； I'll dispose of mine to the best advantage。
SIR JO。 Heh； heh； heh： Here 'tis for you； i'faith； Mr。 Setter。 Nay； I'll take you at your word。 ＇Chinking a purse。＇
SET。 Sir Joseph and the captain； too！ undone！ undone！ I'm undone； my master's undone； my lady's undone； and all the business is undone。
SIR JO。 No； no； never fear； man； the lady's business shall be done。 What； come； Mr。 Setter； I have overheard all； and to speak is but loss of time； but if there be occasion； let these worthy gentlemen intercede for me。 ＇Gives him gold。＇
SET。 O lord； sir； what d'ye mean？ Corrupt my honesty？ They have indeed very persuading faces。 But …
SIR JO。 'Tis too little； there's more； man。 There； take all。 Now …
SET。 Well； Sir Joseph； you have such a winning way with you …
SIR JO。 And how； and how； good Setter； did the little rogue look when she talked of Sir Joseph？ Did not her eyes twinkle and her mouth water？ Did not she pull up her little bubbies？ Andagad； I'm so overjoyedAnd stroke down her belly？ and then step aside to tie her garter when she was thinking of her love？ Heh； Setter！
SET。 Oh； yes； sir。
SIR JO。 How now； bully？ What； melancholy because I'm in the lady's favour？ No matter； I'll make your peace： I know they were a little smart upon you。 But I warrant I'll bring you into the lady's good graces。
BLUFF。 Pshaw； I have petitions to show from other…guess toys than she。 Look here； these were sent me this morning。 There； read。 ＇Shows letters＇。 Thatthat's a scrawl of quality。 Here； here's from a countess too。 HumNo； holdthat's from a knight's wife she sent it me by her husband。 But here； both these are from persons of great quality。
SIR JO。 They are either from persons of great quality； or no quality at all； 'tis such a damned ugly hand。 ＇While SIR JOSEPH reads； BLUFFE whispers SETTER。＇
SET。 Captain； I would do anything to serve you； but this is so difficult。
BLUFF。 Not at all。 Don't I know him？
SET。 You'll remember the conditions？
BLUFF。 I'll give it you under my hand。 In the meantime； here's earnest。 ＇Gives him money。＇ Come； knight； I'm capitulating with Mr。 Setter for you。
SIR JO。 Ah； honest Setter； sirrah； I'll give thee anything but a night's lodging。
SCENE VIII。
SHARPER tugging in HEARTWELL。
SHARP。 Nay； prithee leave railing； and come along with me。 May be she mayn't be within。 'Tis but to yond corner…house。
HEART。 Whither？ Whither？ Which corner…house。
SHARP。 Why； there： the two white posts。
HEART。 And who would you visit there； say you？ （O'ons； how my heart aches。）
SHARP。 Pshaw； thou'rt so troublesome and inquisitive。 My； I'll tell you； 'tis a young creature that Vainlove debauched and has forsaken。 Did you never hear Bellmour chide him about Sylvia？
HEART。 Death； and hell； and marriage！ My wife！ ＇Aside。＇
SHARP。 Why； thou art as musty as a new…married man that had found his wife knowing the first night。
HEART。 Hell； and the Devil！ Does he know it？ But； hold； if he should not； I were a fool to discover it。 I'll dissemble； and try him。 ＇Aside。＇ Ha； ha； ha。 Why； Tom； is that such an occasion of melancholy？ Is it such an uncommon mischief？
SHARP。 No； faith； I believe not。 Few women but have their year of probation before they are cloistered in the narrow joys of wedlock。 But； prithee； come along with me or I'll go and have the lady to myself。 B'w'y George。 ＇Going。＇
HEART。 O torture！ How he racks and tears me！ Death！ Shall I own my shame or wittingly let him go and whore my wife？ No； that's insupportable。 O Sharper！
SHARP。 How now？
HEART。 Oh； I am married。
SHARP。 （Now hold； spleen。） Married！
HEART。 Certainly； irrecoverably married。
SHARP。 Heaven forbid； man！ How long？
HEART。 Oh； an age； an age！ I have been married these two hours。
SHARP。 My old bachelor married！ That were a jest。 Ha； ha； ha。
HEART。 Death！ D'ye mock me？ Hark ye； if either you esteem my friendship； or your own safetycome not near that housethat corner…housethat hot brothel。 Ask no questions。
SHARP。 Mad； by this light。
Thus grief still treads upon the heels of pleasure： Married in haste； we may repent at leisure。
SCENE IX。
SHARPER； SETTER。
SET。 Some by experience find these words misplaced： At leisure married； they repent in haste。
As I suppose my master Heartwell。
SHARP。 Here again； my Mercury！
SET。 Sublimate； if you please； sir： I think my achievements do deserve the epithetMercury was a pimp too； but； though I blush to own it； at this time； I must confess I am somewhat fallen from the dignity of my function； and do condescend to be scandalously employed in the promotion of vulgar matrimony。
SHARP。 As how； dear； dexterous pimp？
SET。 Why； to be brief； for I have weighty affairs dependingour stratagem succeeded as you intendedBluffe turns errant traitor； bribes me to make a private conveyance of the lady to him； and put a shame…settlement upon Sir Joseph。
SHARP。 O rogue！ Well； but I hope …
SET。 No； no； never fear me； sir。 I privately informed the knight of the treachery； who has agreed seemingly to be cheated； that the captain may be so in reality。
SHARP。 Where's the bride？
SET。 Shifting clothes for the purpose； at a friend's house of mine。 Here's company coming； if you'll walk this way； sir； I'll tell you。
SCENE X。
BELLMOUR； BELINDA； ARAMINTA； and VAINLOVE。
VAIN。 Oh； 'twas frenzy all： cannot you forgive it？ Men in madness have a title to your pity。 ＇To ARAMINTA。＇
ARAM。 Which they forfeit； when they are restored to their senses。
VAIN。 I am not presuming beyond a pardon。
ARAM。 You who could reproach me with one counterfeit； how insolent would a real pardon make you！ But there's no need to forgive what is not worth my anger。
BELIN。 O' my conscience； I could find in my heart to marry thee； purely to be rid of theeat least thou art so troublesome a lover； there's hopes thou'lt make a more than ordinary quiet husband。 ＇To BELLMOUR。＇
BELL。 Say you so？ Is that a maxim among ye？
BELIN。 Yes： you fluttering men of the MODE have made marriage a mere French dish。
BELL。 I hope there's no French sauce。 ＇Aside。＇
BELIN。 You are so curious in the preparation； that is； your courtship； one would think you meant a noble entertainmentbut when we come to feed； 'tis all froth； and poor； but in show。 Nay； often； only remains； which have been I know not how many times warmed for other company； and at last served up cold to the wife。
BELL。 That were a miserable wretch indeed； who could not afford one warm dish for the wife of his bosom。 But you timorous virgins form a dreadful chimaera of a husband； as of a creatu