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〃Well； Minoret； what do you say to the conversion of your uncle？〃
cried the tax…collector of Nemours； named Cremiere。
〃What do you expect me to say？〃 replied the post master； offering him
a pinch of snuff。
〃Well answered； Pere Levrault。 You can't say what you think； if it is
true； as an illustrious author says it is； that a man must think his
words before he speaks his thoughts；〃 cried a young man； standing
near； who played the part of Mephistopheles in the little town。
This ill…conditioned youth； named Goupil； was head clerk to Monsieur
Cremiere…Dionis； the Nemours notary。 Notwithstanding a past conduct
that was almost debauched； Dionis had taken Goupil into his office
when a career in Pariswhere the clerk had wasted all the money he
inherited from his father； a well…to…do farmer； who educated him for a
notarywas brought to a close by his absolute pauperism。 The mere
sight of Goupil told an observer that he had made haste to enjoy life；
and had paid dear for his enjoyments。 Though very short； his chest and
shoulders were developed at twenty…seven years of age like those of a
man of forty。 Legs small and weak； and a broad face； with a cloudy
complexion like the sky before a storm； surmounted by a bald forehead；
brought out still further the oddity of his conformation。 His face
seemed as though it belonged to a hunchback whose hunch was inside of
him。 One singularity of that pale and sour visage confirmed the
impression of an invisible gobbosity； the nose； crooked and out of
shape like those of many deformed persons； turned from right to left
of the face instead of dividing it down the middle。 The mouth；
contracted at the corners； like that of a Sardinian； was always on the
qui vive of irony。 His hair； thin and reddish； fell straight； and
showed the skull in many places。 His hands； coarse and ill…joined at
the wrists to arms that were far too long； were quick…fingered and
seldom clean。 Goupil wore boots only fit for the dust…heap； and raw
silk stockings now of a russet black； his coat and trousers； all
black； and threadbare and greasy with dirt； his pitiful waistcoat with
half the button…moulds gone； an old silk handkerchief which served as
a cravatin short； all his clothing revealed the cynical poverty to
which his passions had reduced him。 This combination of disreputable
signs was guarded by a pair of eyes with yellow circles round the
pupils； like those of a goat； both lascivious and cowardly。 No one in
Nemours was more feared nor； in a way； more deferred to than Goupil。
Strong in the claims made for him by his very ugliness； he had the
odious style of wit peculiar to men who allow themselves all license；
and he used it to gratify the bitterness of his life…long envy。 He
wrote the satirical couplets sung during the carnival； organized
charivaris； and was himself a 〃little journal〃 of the gossip of the
town。 Dionis； who was clever and insincere； and for that reason timid；
kept Goupil as much through fear as for his keen mind and thorough
knowledge of all the interests of the town。 But the master so
distrusted his clerk that he himself kept the accounts； refused to let
him live in his house； held him at arm's length； and never confided
any secret or delicate affair to his keeping。 In return the clerk
fawned upon the notary； hiding his resentment at this conduct； and
watching Madame Dionis in the hope that he might get his revenge
there。 Gifted with a ready mind and quick comprehension he found work
easy。
〃You！〃 exclaimed the post master to the clerk； who stood rubbing his
hands； 〃making game of our misfortunes already？〃
As Goupil was known to have pandered to Dionis' passions for the last
five years； the post master treated him cavalierly； without suspecting
the hoard of ill…feeling he was piling up in Goupil's heart with every
fresh insult。 The clerk； convinced that money was more necessary to
him than it was to others； and knowing himself superior in mind to the
whole bourgeoisie of Nemours； was now counting on his intimacy with
Minoret's son Desire to obtain the means of buying one or the other of
three town offices；that of clerk of the court； or the legal practice
of one of the sheriffs； or that of Dionis himself。 For this reason he
put up with the affronts of the post master and the contempt of Madame
Minoret…Levrault； and played a contemptible part towards Desire；
consoling the fair victims whom that youth left behind him after each
vacation；devouring the crumbs of the loaves he had kneaded。
〃If I were the nephew of a rich old fellow； he never would have given
God to ME for a co…heir；〃 retorted Goupil； with a hideous grin which
exhibited his teethfew； black； and menacing。
Just then Massin…Levrault； junior； the clerk of the court； joined his
wife； bringing with him Madame Cremiere； the wife of the tax…collector
of Nemours。 This man； one of the hardest natures of the little town；
had the physical characteristics of a Tartar： eyes small and round as
sloes beneath a retreating brow； crimped hair； an oily skin； huge ears
without any rim； a mouth almost without lips； and a scanty beard。 He
spoke like a man who was losing his voice。 To exhibit him thoroughly
it is enough to say that he employed his wife and eldest daughter to
serve his legal notices。
Madame Cremiere was a stout woman； with a fair complexion injured by
red blotches； always too tightly laced； intimate with Madame Dionis；
and supposed to be educated because she read novels。 Full of
pretensions to wit and elegance； she was awaiting her uncle's money to
〃take a certain stand；〃 decorate her salon； and receive the
bourgeoisie。 At present her husband denied her Carcel lamps；
lithographs； and all the other trifles the notary's wife possessed。
She was excessively afraid of Goupil； who caught up and retailed her
〃slapsus…linquies〃 as she called them。 One day Madame Dionis chanced
to ask what 〃Eau〃 she thought best for the teeth。
〃Try opium；〃 she replied。
Nearly all the collateral heirs of old Doctor Minoret were now
assembled in the square； the importance of the event which brought
them was so generally felt that even groups of peasants； armed with
their scarlet umbrellas and dressed in those brilliant colors which
make them so picturesque on Sundays and fete…days； stood by； with
their eyes fixed on the frightened heirs。 In all little towns which
are midway between large villages and cities those who do not go to
mass stand about in the square or market…place。 Business is talked
over。 In Nemours the hour of church service was a weekly exchange； to
which the owners of property scattered over a radius of some miles
resorted。
〃Well； how would you have prevented it？〃 said the post master to
Goupil in reply to his remark。
〃I should have made myself as important to him as the air he breathes。
But from the very first you failed to get hold of him。 The inheritance
of a rich uncle should be watched as carefully as a pretty womanfor
want of proper care they'll both escape you。 If Madame Dionis were
here she could tell you how true that comparison is。〃
〃But Monsieur Bongrand has just told me there is nothing to worry
about；〃 said Massin。
〃Oh！ there are plenty of ways of saying that！〃 cried Goupil；
laughing。 〃I would like to have heard your sly justice of the peace
say it。 If there is nothing to be done； if he； being intimate with
your uncle； knows that all is lost； the proper thing for him to say to
you is； 'Don't be worried。'〃
As Goupil spoke； a satirical smile overspread his face； and gave such
meaning to his words that the other heirs began to feel that Massin
had let Bongrand deceive him。 The tax…collector； a fat little man； as
insignificant as a tax…collector should be； and as much of a cipher as
a clever woman could wish； hereupon annihilated his co…heir； Massin；
with the words：〃Didn't I tell you so？〃
Tricky people always attribute trickiness to others。 Massin therefore
looked askance at Monsieur Bongrand； the justice of the peace； who was
at that moment talking near the door of the church with the Marquis du
Rouvre； a former client。
〃If I were sure of it！〃 he said。
〃You could neutralize the protection he is now giving to the Marquis
du Rouvre； who is threatened with arrest。 Don't you see how Bongrand
is sprinkling him with advice？〃 said Goupil； slipping an idea of
retaliation into Massin's mind。 〃But you had better go easy with your
chief； he's a clever old fellow； he might use his influence with your
uncle and persuade him not to leave everything to the church。〃
〃Pooh！ we sha'n't die of it；〃 said Minoret…Levrault； opening his
enormous snuff…box。
〃You won't live of it； either；〃 said Goupil； making the two women
tremble。 More quick…witted than their husbands； they saw the
privations this loss of inheritance （so long counted on for many
comforts） would be to them。 〃However；〃 added Goupil； 〃we'll dr