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ons。 Sometimes； with Machiavelian sagacity； thou unravelledst intrigues of state； and the traitorous conspiracies of rebels； giving wise counsel to monarchs。 How didst thou move our terror and our pity with thy passionate scenes between Jack Catch and the heroes of the Old Bailey？ How didst thou describe their intrepid march up Holborn Hill？ Nor didst thou shine less in thy theological capacity； when thou gavest ghostly counsels to dying felons； and didst record the guilty pangs of Sabbath breakers。 How will the noble arts of John Overton's** painting and sculpture now languish？ where rich invention； proper expression； correct design； divine attitudes； and artful contrast； heightened with the beauties of Clar。 Obscur。； embellished thy celebrated pieces； to the delight and astonishment of the judicious multitude！ Adieu； persuasive eloquence！ the quaint metaphor； the poignant irony； the proper epithet； and the lively simile； are fled for ever！ Instead of these； we shall have； I know not what！ The illiterate will tell the rest with pleasure。
* Act restraining the liberty of the press； etc。 ** The engraver of the cuts before the Grub Street papers。
I hope the reader will excuse this digression； due by way of condolence to my worthy brethren of Grub Street； for the approaching barbarity that is likely to overspread all its regions by this oppressive and exorbitant tax。 It has been my good fortune to receive my education there； and so long as I preserved some figure and rank amongst the learned of that society； I scorned to take my degree either at Utrecht or Leyden； though I was offered it gratis by the professors in those universities。
And now that posterity may not be ignorant in what age so excellent a history was written （which would otherwise； no doubt； be the subject of its inquiries）； I think it proper to inform the learned of future times； that it was compiled when Louis XIV。 was King of France； and Philip his grandson of Spain； when England and Holland； in conjunction with the Emperor and the Allies； entered into a war against these two princes； which lasted ten years； under the management of the Duke of Marlborough； and was put to a conclusion by the Treaty of Utrecht； under the ministry of the Earl of Oxford； in the year 1713。
Many at that time did imagine the history of John Bull； and the personages mentioned in it； to be allegorical； which the author would never own。 Notwithstanding； to indulge the reader's fancy and curiosity； I have printed at the bottom of the page the supposed allusions of the most obscure parts of the story。
THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL。
CHAPTER I。 The Occasion of the Law Suit。
I need not tell you of the great quarrels that have happened in our neighbourhood since the death of the late Lord Strutt；* how the parson** and a cunning attorney got him to settle his estate upon his cousin Philip Baboon； to the great disappointment of his cousin Esquire South。 Some stick not to say that the parson and the attorney forged a will； for which they were well paid by the family of the Baboons。 Let that be as it will； it is matter of fact that the honour and estate have continued ever since in the person of Philip Baboon。
* Late King of Spain。 ** Cardinal Portocarero。
You know that the Lord Strutts have for many years been possessed of a very great landed estate； well conditioned； wooded； watered； with coal； salt； tin； copper； iron； etc。； all within themselves； that it has been the misfortune of that family to be the property of their stewards； tradesmen； and inferior servants； which has brought great incumbrances upon them； at the same time； their not abating of their expensive way of living has forced them to mortgage their best manors。 It is credibly reported that the butcher's and baker's bill of a Lord Strutt that lived two hundred years ago are not yet paid。
When Philip Baboon came first to the possession of the Lord Strutt's estate； his tradesmen；* as is usual upon such occasions； waited upon him to wish him joy and bespeak his custom。 The two chief were John Bull；** the clothier； and Nic。 Frog；*** the linendraper。 They told him that the Bulls and Frogs had served the Lord Strutts with draperyware for many years； that they were honest and fair dealers； that their bills had never been questioned； that the Lord Strutts lived generously； and never used to dirty their fingers with pen； ink； and counters； that his lordship might depend upon their honesty that they would use him as kindly as they had done his predecessors。 The young lord seemed to take all in good part； and dismissed them with a deal of seeming content； assuring them he did not intend to change any of the honourable maxims of his predecessors。
* The first letters of congratulation from King William and the States of Holland upon King Philip's accession to the crown of Spain。 ** The English。 *** The Dutch。
CHAPTER II。 How Bull and Frog grew jealous that the Lord Strutt intended to give all his custom to his grandfather Lewis Baboon。
It happened unfortunately for the peace of our neighbourhood that this young lord had an old cunning rogue； or； as the Scots call it； a false loon of a grandfather； that one might justly call a Jack… of…all…Trades。* Sometimes you would see him behind his counter selling broadcloth； sometimes measuring linen； next day he would be dealing in merceryware。 High heads； ribbons； gloves； fans； and lace he understood to a nicety。 Charles Mather could not bubble a young beau better with a toy； nay； he would descend even to the selling of tape； garters； and shoe…buckles。 When shop was shut up he would go about the neighbourhood and earn half…a…crown by teaching the young men and maids to dance。 By these methods he had acquired immense riches； which he used to squander* away at back…sword； quarter…staff； and cudgel…play； in which he took great pleasure； and challenged all the country。 You will say it is no wonder if Bull and Frog should be jealous of this fellow。 〃It is not impossible；〃 says Frog to Bull； 〃but this old rogue will take the management of the young lord's business into his hands； besides； the rascal has good ware； and will serve him as cheap as anybody。 In that case； I leave you to judge what must become of us and our families； we must starve； or turn journeyman to old Lewis Baboon。 Therefore； neighbour； I hold it advisable that we write to young Lord Strutt to know the bottom of this matter。〃
* The character and trade of the French nation。 ** The King's disposition to war。
CHAPTER III。 A Copy of Bull and Frog's Letter to Lord Strutt。
My Lord；I suppose your lordship knows that the Bulls and the Frogs have served the Lord Strutts with all sorts of draperyware time out of mind。 And whereas we are jealous； not without reason； that your lordship intends henceforth to buy of your grandsire old Lewis Baboon； this is to inform your lordship that this proceeding does not suit with the circumstances of our families； who have lived and made a good figure in the world by the generosity of the Lord Strutts。 Therefore we think fit to acquaint your lordship that you must find sufficient security to us； our heirs； and assigns that you will not employ Lewis Baboon； or else we will take our remedy at law； clap an action upon you of 2O；OOO pounds for old debts； seize and distrain your goods and chattels； which； considering your lordship's circumstances； will plunge you into difficulties； from which it will not be easy to extricate yourself。 Therefore we hope； when your lordship has better considered on it； you will comply with the desire of Your loving friends； JOHN BULL； NIC。 FROG。
Some of Bull's friends advised him to take gentler methods with the young lord； but John naturally loved rough play。 It is impossible to express the surprise of the Lord Strutt upon the receipt of this letter。 He was not flush in ready either to go to law or clear old debts； neither could he find good bail。 He offered to bring matters to a friendly accommodation； and promised； upon his word of honour； that he would not change his drapers； but all to no purpose； for Bull and Frog saw clearly that old Lewis would have the cheating of him。
CHAPTER IV。 How Bull and Frog went to law with Lord Strutt about the premises； and were joined by the rest of the tradesmen。
All endeavours of accommodation between Lord Strutt and his drapers proved vain。 Jealousies increased； and； indeed； it was rumoured abroad that Lord Strutt had bespoke his new liveries of old Lewis Baboon。 This coming to Mrs。 Bull's ears； when John Bull came home； he found all his family in an uproar。 Mrs。 Bull； you must know； was very apt to be choleric。 〃You sot；〃 says she； 〃you loiter about alehouses and taverns； spend your time at billiards； ninepins； or puppet…shows； or flaunt about the streets in your new gilt chariot； never minding me nor your numerous family。 Don't you hear how Lord Strutt has bespoke his liveries at Lewis Baboon's shop？ Don't you see how that old fox steals away your customers； and turns you out of your business every day； and you sit like an idle drone； with your hands in your pockets？ Fie upon it。 Up man； rouse thyself； I'll sell to my shift bef