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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
sobbing； round the ruined turret towers； and passes wailing like a woman
through the chambers bare and tenantless。
And dying prisoners； in their loathsome dungeons； see through the
horrid gloom their small red eyes； like glittering coals； hear in the death…
like silence the rush of their claw…like feet； and start up shrieking in the
darkness and watch through the awful night。
I love to read tales about rats。 They make my flesh creep so。 I like that
tale of Bishop Hatto and the rats。 The wicked bishop； you know； had ever
so much corn stored in his granaries and would not let the starving people
touch it； but when they prayed to him for food gathered them together in
his barn； and then shutting the doors on them； set fire to the place and
burned them all to death。 But next day there came thousands upon
thousands of rats； sent to do judgment on him。 Then Bishop Hatto fled to
his strong tower that stood in the middle of the Rhine； and barred himself
in and fancied he was safe。 But the rats！ they swam the river； they gnawed
their way through the thick stone walls； and ate him alive where he sat。
〃They have whetted their teeth against the stones； And now they pick
the bishop's bones； They gnawed the flesh from every limb； For they were
sent to do judgment on him。〃 Oh； it's a lovely tale。
Then there is the story of the Pied Piper of Hamelin； how first he piped
the rats away； and afterward； when the mayor broke faith with him； drew
all the children along with him and went into the mountain。 What a
curious old legend that is！ I wonder what it means； or has it any meaning
at all？ There seems something strange and deep lying hid beneath the
rippling rhyme。 It haunts me； that picture of the quaint； mysterious old
piper piping through Hamelin's narrow streets； and the children following
with dancing feet and thoughtful； eager faces。 The old folks try to stay
them； but the children pay no heed。 They hear the weird； witched music
and must follow。 The games are left unfinished and the playthings drop
from their careless hands。 They know not whither they are hastening。 The
mystic music calls to them； and they follow； heedless and unasking where。
It stirs and vibrates in their hearts and other sounds grow faint。 So they
wander through Pied Piper Street away from Hamelin town。
I get thinking sometimes if the Pied Piper is really dead； or if he may
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
not still be roaming up and down our streets and lanes； but playing now so
softly that only the children hear him。 Why do the little faces look so
grave and solemn when they pause awhile from romping； and stand； deep
wrapt； with straining eyes？ They only shake their curly heads and dart
back laughing to their playmates when we question them。 But I fancy
myself they have been listening to the magic music of the old Pied Piper；
and perhaps with those bright eyes of theirs have even seen his odd；
fantastic figure gliding unnoticed through the whirl and throng。
Even we grown…up children hear his piping now and then。 But the
yearning notes are very far away； and the noisy； blustering world is always
bellowing so loud it drowns the dreamlike melody。 One day the sweet； sad
strains will sound out full and clear； and then we too shall； like the little
children； throw our playthings all aside and follow。 The loving hands will
be stretched out to stay us； and the voices we have learned to listen for will
cry to us to stop。 But we shall push the fond arms gently back and pass out
through the sorrowing house and through the open door。 For the wild；
strange music will be ringing in our hearts； and we shall know the
meaning of its song by then。
I wish people could love animals without getting maudlin over them；
as so many do。 Women are the most hardened offenders in such respects；
but even our intellectual sex often degrade pets into nuisances by absurd
idolatry。 There are the gushing young ladies who； having read 〃David
Copperfield；〃 have thereupon sought out a small； longhaired dog of
nondescript breed； possessed of an irritating habit of criticising a man's
trousers； and of finally commenting upon the same by a sniff indicative of
contempt and disgust。 They talk sweet girlish prattle to this animal （when
there is any one near enough to overhear them）； and they kiss its nose； and
put its unwashed head up against their cheek in a most touching manner；
though I have noticed that these caresses are principally performed when
there are young men hanging about。
Then there are the old ladies who worship a fat poodle； scant of breath
and full of fleas。 I knew a couple of elderly spinsters once who had a sort
of German sausage on legs which they called a dog between them。 They
used to wash its face with warm water every morning。 It had a mutton
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
cutlet regularly for breakfast； and on Sundays； when one of the ladies went
to church； the other always stopped at home to keep the dog company。
There are many families where the whole interest of life is centered
upon the dog。 Cats； by the way； rarely suffer from excess of adulation。 A
cat possesses a very fair sense of the ridiculous； and will put her paw
down kindly but firmly upon any nonsense of this kind。 Dogs； however；
seem to like it。 They encourage their owners in the tomfoolery； and the
consequence is that in the circles I am speaking of what 〃dear Fido〃 has
done； does do； will do； won't do； can do； can't do； was doing； is doing； is
going to do； shall do； shan't do； and is about to be going to have done is
the continual theme of discussion from morning till night。
All the conversation； consisting； as it does； of the very dregs of
imbecility； is addressed to this confounded animal。 The family sit in a row
all day long； watching him； commenting upon his actions； telling each
other anecdotes about him； recalling his virtues； and remembering with
tears how one day they lost him for two whole hours； on which occasion
he was brought home in a most brutal manner by the butcher…boy； who had
been met carrying him by the scruff of his neck with one hand； while
soundly cuffing his head with the other。
After recovering from these bitter recollections； they vie with each
other in bursts of admiration for the brute； until some more than usually
enthusiastic member； unable any longer to control his feelings； swoops
down upon the unhappy quadruped in a frenzy of affection； clutches it to
his heart； and slobbers over it。 Whereupon the others； mad with envy； rise
up； and seizing as much of the dog as the greed of the first one has left to
them； murmur praise and devotion。
Among these people everything is done through the dog。 If you want
to make love to the eldest daughter； or get the old man to lend you the
garden roller； or the mother to subscribe to the Society for the Suppression
of Solo…Cornet Players in Theatrical Orchestras （it's a pity there isn't one；
anyhow）； you have to begin with the dog。 You must gain its approbation
before they will even listen to you； and if； as is highly probable； the animal；
whose frank； doggy nature has been warped by the unnatural treatment he
has received； responds to your overtures of friendship by viciously
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
snapping at you； your cause is lost forever。
〃If Fido won't take to any one；〃 the father has thoughtfully remarked
beforehand； 〃I say that man is not to be trusted。 You know； Maria； how
often I have said that。 Ah！ he knows； bless him。〃
Drat him！
And to think that the surly brute was once an innocent puppy； all legs
and head； full of fun and play； and burning with ambition