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round him； clapping her hands； and crying
〃Do it again； papa。 Do it again！ It's SUCH fun！ Dear； funny papa！〃
And if he tried to catch her； she glided from him in an instant；
not in the least afraid of him； but thinking it part of the game
not to be caught。 With one push of her foot； she would be floating
in the air above his head； or she would go dancing backwards and
forwards and sideways； like a great butterfly。 It happened several
times； when her father and mother were holding a consultation about
her in private； that they were interrupted by vainly repressed
outbursts of laughter over their heads； and looking up with
indignation； saw her floating at full length in the air above them；
whence she regarded them with the most comical appreciation of the
position。
One day an awkward accident happened。 The princess had come out
upon the lawn with one of her attendants； who held her by the hand。
Spying her father at the other side of the lawn； she snatched her
hand from the maid's； and sped across to him。 Now when she wanted
to run alone； her custom was to catch up a stone in each hand； so
that she might come down again after a bound。 Whatever she wore as
part of her attire had no effect in this way： even gold； when it
thus became as it were a part of herself； lost all its weight for
the time。 But whatever she only held in her hands retained its
downward tendency。 On this occasion she could see nothing to catch
up but a huge toad； that was walking across the lawn as if he had
a hundred years to do it in。 Not knowing what disgust meant； for
this was one of her peculiarities； she snatched up the toad and
bounded away。 She had almost reached her father； and he was holding
out his arms to receive her； and take from her lips the kiss which
hovered on them like a butterfly on a rosebud； when a puff of wind
blew her aside into the arms of a young page； who had just been
receiving a message from his Majesty。 Now it was no great
peculiarity in the princess that； once she was set agoing； it
always cost her time and trouble to check herself。 On this occasion
there was no time。 She must kiss…and she kissed the page。 She did
not mind it much； for she had no shyness in her composition； and
she knew； besides； that she could not help it。 So she only laughed；
like a musical box。 The poor page fared the worst。 For the
princess； trying to correct the unfortunate tendency of the kiss；
put out her hands to keep her off the page； so that； along with the
kiss； he received； on the other cheek； a slap with the huge black
toad； which she poked right into his eye。 He tried to laugh； too；
but the attempt resulted in such an odd contortion of countenance；
as showed that there was no danger of his pluming himself on the
kiss。 As for the king； his dignity was greatly hurt； and he did not
speak to the page for a whole month。
I may here remark that it was very amusing to see her run； if her
mode of progression could properly be called running。 For first she
would make a bound； then； having alighted； she would run a few
steps； and make another bound。 Sometimes she would fancy she had
reached the ground before she actually had； and her feet would go
backwards and forwards； running upon nothing at all； like those of
a chicken on its back。 Then she would laugh like the very spirit of
fun； only in her laugh there was something missing。 What it was； I
find myself unable to describe。 I think it was a certain tone；
depending upon the possibility of sorrowMORBIDEZZA； perhaps。 She
never smiled。
7。 Try Metaphysics。
After a long avoidance of the painful subject； the king and queen
resolved to hold a council of three upon it； and so they sent for
the princess。 In she came； sliding and flitting and gliding from
one piece of furniture to another； and put herself at last in an
armchair； in a sitting posture。 Whether she could be said to sit；
seeing she received no support from the seat of the chair； I do not
pretend to determine。
〃My dear child；〃 said the king； 〃you must be aware by this time
that you are not exactly like other people。〃
〃Oh； you dear funny papa！ I have got a nose； and two eyes； and all
the rest。 So have you。 So has mamma。〃
〃Now be serious； my dear； for once；〃 said the queen。
〃No； thank you； mamma； I had rather not。〃
〃Would you not like to be able to walk like other people？〃 said the
king。
〃No indeed； I should think not。 You only crawl。 You are such slow
coaches！〃
〃How do you feel； my child？〃 he resumed； after a pause of
discomfiture。
〃Quite well； thank you。〃
〃I mean； what do you feel like？〃
〃Like nothing at all； that I know of。〃
〃You must feel like something。〃
〃I feel like a princess with such a funny papa； and such a dear pet
of a queen…mamma！〃
〃Now really！〃 began the queen； but the princess interrupted her。
〃Oh Yes；〃 she added； 〃I remember。 I have a curious feeling
sometimes； as if I were the only person that had any sense in the
whole world。〃
She had been trying to behave herself with dignity； but now she
burst into a violent fit of laughter； threw herself backwards over
the chair； and went rolling about the floor in an ecstasy of
enjoyment。 The king picked her up easier than one does a down
quilt； and replaced her in her former relation to the chair。 The
exact preposition expressing this relation I do not happen to know。
〃Is there nothing you wish for？〃 resumed the king； who had learned
by this time that it was useless to be angry with her。
〃Oh； you dear papa！yes；〃 answered she。
〃What is it； my darling？〃
〃I have been longing for itoh； such a time！ever since last
night。〃
〃Tell me what it is。〃
〃Will you promise to let me have it？〃
The king was on the point of saying Yes； but the wiser queen
checked him with a single motion of her head。 〃Tell me what it is
first；〃 said he。
〃No no。 Promise first。〃
〃I dare not。 What is it？〃
〃Mind； I hold you to your promise。It isto be tied to the end of
a stringa very long string indeed； and be flown like a kite。 Oh；
such fun！ I would rain rose…water； and hail sugar…plums； and snow
whipped…cream； andandand〃
A fit of laughing checked her； and she would have been off again
over the floor； had not the king started up and caught her just in
time。 Seeing nothing but talk could be got out of her； he rang the
bell； and sent her away with two of her ladies…in…waiting。
〃Now； queen；〃 he said； turning to her Majesty； 〃what IS to be
done？〃
〃There is but one thing left；〃 answered she。 〃Let us consult the
college of Metaphysicians。〃
〃Bravo！〃 cried the king； 〃we will。〃
Now at the head of this college were two very wise Chinese
philosophers…by name Hum…Drum； and Kopy…Keck。 For them the king
sent； and straightway they came。 In a long speech he communicated
to them what they knew very well alreadyas who did not？namely；
the peculiar condition of his daughter in relation to the globe on
which she dwelt； and requested them to consult together as to what
might be the cause and probable cure of her INFIRMITY。 The king
laid stress upon the word； but failed to discover his own pun。 The
queen laughed； but Hum…Drum and Kopy…Keck heard with humility and
retired in silence。
The consultation consisted chiefly in propounding and supporting；
for the thousandth time； each his favourite theories。 For the
condition of the princess afforded delightful scope for the
discussion of every question arising from the division of
thought…in fact； of all the Metaphysics of the Chinese Empire。 But
it is only justice to say that they did not altogether neglect the
discussion of the practical question； what was to be done。
Hum…Drum was a Materialist； and Kopy…Keck was a Spiritualist。 The
former was slow and sententious； the latter was quick and flighty：
the latter had generally the first word； the former the last。
〃I reassert my former assertion；〃 began Kopy…Keck； with a plunge。
〃There is not a fault in the princess； body or soul； only they are
wrong put together。 Listen to me now； Hum…Drum； and I will tell you
in brief what I think。 Don't speak。 Don't answer me。 I won't hear
you till I have done。 At that decisive moment； when souls seek
their appointed habitations； two eager souls met； struck；
rebounded； lost their way； and arrived each at the wrong place。 The
soul of the princess was one of those； and she went far astray。 She
does not belong by rights to this world at all； but to some other
planet； probably Mercury。 Her proclivity to her true sphere
destroys all the natural influence which this orb would otherwise
possess over her corporeal frame。 She cares for nothing here。 There
is no relation between her and this world。
〃She must therefore be taught； by the sternest compulsion； to take
an interest in the earth as