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thais-第13章

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thoughts of others; and that all of us are somewhat inclined to read
books as I have read this one。〃

She did not hear him; her soul was still before the Nubian's tomb。 As
he heard her sigh; he kissed her on the neck; and said

〃Do not be sad; my child。 We are never happy in this world; except
when we forget the world。

〃Come; let us cheat lifeit is sure to take its revenge。 Come; let us
love!〃

But she pushed him away。

〃/We/ love!〃 she cried bitterly。 〃/You/ never loved any one。 And /I/
do not love /you/! No! I do not love you! I hate you! Go! I hate you!
I curse and despise all who are happy; and all who are rich! Go! Go!
Goodness is only found amongst the unfortunate。 When I was a child I
knew a black slave who died on the cross。 He was good; he was filled
with love; and he knew the secret of life。 You are not worthy to wash
his feet。 Go! I never wish to see you again!〃

She threw herself on her face on the carpet; and passed the night
sobbing and weeping; and forming resolutions to live; in future; like
Saint Theodore; in poverty and humbleness。

The next day; she devoted herself again to those pleasures to which
she was addicted。 As she knew that her beauty; though still intact;
would not last very long; she hastened to derive all the enjoyment and
all the fame she could from it。 At the theatre; where she acted and
studied more than ever; she gave life to the imagination of sculptors;
painters; and poets。 Recognising that there was in the attitudes;
movements; and walk of the actress; an idea of the divine harmony
which rules the spheres; wise men and philosophers considered that
such perfect grace was a virtue in itself; and said; 〃Thais also is a
geometrician!〃 The ignorant; the poor; the humble; and the timid
before whom she consented to appear; regarded her as a blessing from
heaven。 Yet she was sad amidst all the praise she received; and
dreaded death more than ever。 Nothing was able to set her mind at
rest; not even her house and gardens; which were celebrated; and a
proverb throughout the city。

The gardens were planted with trees; brought at great expense from
India and Persia。 They were watered by a running brook; and colonnades
in ruins; and imitation rocks; arranged by a skilful artist; were
reflected in a lake; which also mirrored the statues that stood round
it。 In the middle of the garden was the Grotto of Nymphs; which owed
its name to three life…size figures of women; which stood on the
threshold。 They were represented as divesting themselves of their
garments; and about to bathe。 They anxiously turned their heads;
fearing to be seen; and looked as though they were alive。 The only
light which entered the building came; tempered and iridescent;
through thin sheets of water。 All the walls were hungas in the
sacred grottoeswith wreaths; garlands; and votive pictures; in which
the beauty of Thais was celebrated。 There were also tragic and comic
masks; bright with colours; and paintings representing theatrical
scenes or grotesque figures; or fabulous animals。 On a stele in the
centre stood a little ivory Eros of wonderful antique workmanship。 It
was a gift from Nicias。 In one of the bays was a figure of a goat in
black marble; with shining agate eyes。 Six alabaster kids crowded
round its teats; but; raising its cloven hoofs and its ugly head; it
seemed impatient to climb the rocks。 The floor was covered with
Byzantine carpets; pillows embroidered by the yellow men of Cathay;
and the skins of Libyan lions。 Perfumed smoke arose from golden
censers。 Flowering plants grew in large onyx vases。 And at the far
end; in the purple shadow; gleamed the gold nails on the shell of a
huge Indian tortoise turned upside down; which served as the bed of
the actress。 It was here that every day; to the murmur of the water;
and amid perfumes and flowers; Thais reclined softly; and conversed
with her friends; while awaiting the hour of supper; or meditated in
solitude on theatrical art; or on the flight of years。

On the afternoon after the games; Thais was reposing in the Grotto of
Nymphs。 She had noticed in her mirror the first signs of the decay of
her beauty; and she was frightened to think that white hair and
wrinkles would at last come。 She vainly tried to comfort herself with
the assurance that she could recover her fresh complexion by burning
certain herbs and pronouncing a few magic words。 A pitiless voice
cried; 〃You will grow old Thais; you will grow old。〃 And a cold sweat
of terror bedewed her forehead。 Then; on looking at herself again in
the mirror with infinite tenderness; she found that she was still
beautiful and worthy to be loved。 She smiled to herself; and murmured;
〃There is not a woman in Alexandria who can rival me in suppleness or
grace or movement; or in splendour of arms; and the arms; my mirror;
are the real chains of love!〃

While she was thus thinking she saw an unknown manthin; with burning
eyes and unkempt beard; and clad in a richly embroidered robe
standing before her。 She let fall her mirror; and uttered a cry of
fright。

Paphnutius stood motionless; and seeing how beautiful she was; he
murmured this prayer from the bottom of his heart

〃Grant; my God; that the face of this woman may not be a temptation;
but may prove salutary to Thy servant。〃

Then; forcing himself to speak; he said

〃Thais; I live in a far country; and the fame of thy beauty has led me
to thee。 It is said that thou art the most clever of actresses and the
most irresistible of women。 That which is related of thy riches and
thy love affairs seems fabulous; and calls to mind the old story of
Rhodope; whose marvellous history is known by heart to all the boatmen
on the Nile。 Therefore I was seized with a desire to know thee; and I
see that the truth surpasses the rumour。 Thou art a thousand times
more clever and more beautiful than is reported。 And now that I see
thee; I say to myself; 'It is impossible to approach her without
staggering like a drunken man。' 〃

The words were feigned; but the monk; animated by pious zeal; uttered
them with real warmth。 Thais gazed; without displeasure; at this
strange being who had frightened her。 The rough; wild aspect; and the
fiery glances of his eyes; astonished her。 She was curious to learn
the state of life of a man so different from all others she had met。
She replied; with gentle raillery

〃You seem prompt to admire; stranger。 Beware that my looks do not
consume you to the bones! Beware of loving me!〃

He said

〃I love thee; O Thais! I love thee more than my life; and more than
myself。 For thee I have quitted the desert; for thee my lipsvowed to
silencehave pronounced profane words; for thee I have seen what I
ought not to have seen; and heard what it was forbidden to me to hear;
for thee my soul is troubled; my heart is open; and the thoughts gush
out like the running springs at which the pigeons drink; for thee I
have walked day and night across sandy deserts teeming with reptiles
and vampires; for thee I have placed my bare foot on vipers and
scorpions! Yes; I love thee! I love thee; but not like those men who;
burning with the lusts of the flesh; come to thee like devouring
wolves or furious bulls。 Thou art dear to them as is the gazelle to
the lion。 Their ravening lusts will consume thee to the soul; O woman!
I love thee in spirit and in truth; I love thee in God; and for ever
and ever; that which is in my breast is named true zeal and divine
charity。 I promise thee better things than drunkenness crowned with
flowers or the dreams of a brief night。 I promise thee holy feasts and
celestial suppers。 The happiness that I bring thee will never end; it
is unheard…of; it is ineffable; and such that if the happy of this
world could only see a shadow of it they would die of wonder。〃

Thais laughed mischievously。

〃Friend;〃 she said; 〃show me this wonderful love。 Make haste! Long
speeches would be an insult to my beauty; let us not lose a moment。 I
am impatient to taste the felicity you announce; but; to say the
truth; I fear that I shall always remain ignorant of it; and that all
you have promised me will vanish in words。 It is easier to promise a
great happiness than to give it。 Everyone has a talent of some sort。 I
fancy that yours is to make long speeches。 You speak of an unknown
love。 It is so long since kisses were first exchanged that it would be
very extraordinary if there still remained secrets in love。 On this
subject lovers know more than philosophers。〃

〃Do not jest; Thais。 I bring thee the unknown love。〃

〃Friend; you come too late。 I know every kind of love。〃

〃The love that I bring thee abounds with glory; whilst the loves that
thou knowest breed only shame。〃

Thais looked at him with an angry eye; a frown gathered on her
beautiful face。

〃You are very bold; stranger; to offend your hostess。 Look at me; and
say if I resemble a creature crushed down with shame。 No; I am not
ashamed; and all others who live like me are not ashamed either;
although they are not so beautiful or so rich as I am。 I have sown
pleasure in my footsteps; and I am celebrated for that all over the
world。 I am more powerful than the masters of the world。 
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