按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
and when handsome young men； or rich old ones； came； inspired with
love； to hang wreaths of flowers round her door； she welcomed them；
and gave herself up to them。 So that； whilst she lost her own soul；
she also ruined the souls of many others。
She had almost led Paphnutius himself into the sins of the flesh。 She
had awakened desire in him； and he had once approached the house of
Thais。 But he stopped on the threshold of the courtesan's house；
partly restrained by the natural timidity of extreme youthhe was
then but fifteen years oldand partly by the fear of being refused on
account of his want of money； for his parents took care that he should
commit no great extravagances。
God； in His mercy； had used these two means to prevent him from
committing a great sin。 But Paphnutius had not been grateful to Him
for that； because at that time he was blind to his own interests； and
did not know that he was lusting after false delights。 Now； kneeling
in his cell； before the image of that holy cross on which hung； as in
a balance； the ransom of the world； Paphnutius began to think of
Thais； because Thais was a sin to him； and he meditated long；
according to ascetic rules； on the fearful hideousness of the carnal
delights with which this woman had inspired him in the days of his sin
and ignorance。 After some hours of meditation the image of Thais
appeared to him clearly and distinctly。 He saw her again； as he had
seen her when she tempted him； in all the beauty of the flesh。 At
first she showed herself like a Leda； softly lying upon a bed of
hyacinths； her head bowed； her eyes humid and filled with a strange
light； her nostrils quivering； her mouth half open； her breasts like
two flowers； and her arms smooth and fresh as two brooks。 At this
sight Paphnutius struck his breast and said
〃I call Thee to witness； my God； that I have considered how heinous
has been my sin。〃
Gradually the face of the image changed its expression。 Little by
little the lips of Thais； by lowering at the corners of the mouth；
expressed a mysterious suffering。 Her large eyes were filled with
tears and lights； her breast heaved with sighs； like the sighing of a
wind that precedes a tempest。 At this sight Paphnutius was troubled to
the bottom of his soul。 Prostrating himself on the floor； he uttered
this prayer
〃Thou who hast put pity in our hearts； like the morning dew upon the
fields； O just and merciful God； be Thou blessed！ Praise！ praise be
unto Thee！ Put away from Thy servant that false tenderness which
tempts to concupiscence； and grant that I may only love Thy creatures
in Thee； for they pass away； but Thou endurest for ever。 If I care for
this woman； it is only because she is Thy handiwork。 The angels
themselves feel pity for her。 Is she not； O Lord； the breath of Thy
mouth？ Let her not continue to sin with many citizens and strangers。
There is great pity for her in my heart。 Her wickednesses are
abominable； and but to think of them makes my flesh creep。 But the
more wicked she is； the more do I lament for her。 I weep when I think
that the devils will torment her to all eternity。〃
As he was meditating in this way； he saw a little jackal lying at his
feet。 He felt much surprised； for the door of his cell had been closed
since the morning。 The animal seemed to read the Abbot's thoughts； and
wagged its tail like a dog。 Paphnutius made the sign of the cross and
the beast vanished。 He knew then that； for the first time； the devil
had entered his cell； and he uttered a short prayer； then he thought
again about Thais。
〃With God's help；〃 he said to himself； 〃I must save her。〃 And he
slept。
The next morning； when he had said his prayers； he went to see the
sainted Palemon； a holy hermit who lived some distance away。 He found
him smiling quietly as he dug the ground； as was his custom。 Palemon
was an old man； and cultivated a little garden； the wild beasts came
and licked his hands； and the devils never tormented him。
〃May God be praised； brother Paphnutius；〃 he said； as he leaned upon
his spade。
〃God be praised！〃 replied Paphnutius。 〃And peace be unto my brother。〃
〃The like peace be unto thee； brother Paphnutius；〃 said Palemon； and
he wiped the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve。
〃Brother Palemon； all our discourse ought to be solely the praise of
Him who has promised to be wheresoever two or three are gathered
together in His Name。 That is why I come to you concerning a design I
have formed to glorify the Lord。〃
〃May the Lord bless thy design； Paphnutius； as He has blessed my
lettuces。 Every morning He spreads His grace with the dew on my
garden； and His goodness causes me to glorify Him in the cucumbers and
melons which He gives me。 Let us pray that He may keep us in His
peace。 For nothing is more to be feared than those unruly passions
which trouble our hearts。 When these passions disturb us we are like
drunken men； and we stagger from right to left unceasingly； and are
like to fall miserably。 Sometimes these passions plunge us into a
turbulent joy； and he who gives way to such； sullies the air with
brutish laughter。 Such false joy drags the sinner into all sorts of
excess。 But sometimes also the troubles of the soul and of the senses
throw us into an impious sadness which is a thousand times worse than
the joy。 Brother Paphnutius； I am but a miserable sinner； but I have
found； in my long life； that the cenobite has no foe worse than
sadness。 I mean by that the obstinate melancholy which envelopes the
soul as in a mist； and hides from us the light of God。 Nothing is more
contrary to salvation； and the devil's greatest triumph is to sow
black and bitter thoughts in the heart of a good man。 If he sent us
only pleasurable temptations； he would not be half so much to be
feared。 Alas！ he excels in making us sad。 Did he not show to our
father Anthony a black child of such surpassing beauty that the very
sight of it drew tears？ With God's help； our father Anthony avoided
the snares of the demon。 I knew him when he lived amongst us； he was
cheerful with his disciples； and never gave way to melancholy。 But did
you not come； my brother； to talk to me of a design you had formed in
your mind？ Let me know what it isif； at least； this design has for
its object the glory of God。〃
〃Brother Palemon； what I propose is really to the glory of God。
Strengthen me with your counsel； for you know many things； and sin has
never darkened the clearness of your mind。〃
〃Brother Paphnutius； I am not worthy to unloose the latchet of thy
sandals； and my sins are as countless as the sands of the desert。 But
I am old； and I will never refuse the help of my experience。〃
〃I will confide in you； then； brother Palemon； that I am stricken with
grief at the thought that there is； in Alexandria； a courtesan named
Thais； who lives in sin； and is a subject of reproach unto the
people。〃
〃Brother Paphnutius； that is； in truth； an abomination which we do
well to deplore。 There are many women amongst the Gentiles who lead
lives of that kind。 Have you thought of any remedy for this great
evil？〃
〃Brother Palemon； I will go to Alexandria and find this woman； and；
with God's help； I will convert her； that is my intention； do you
approve of it； brother？〃
〃Brother Paphnutius； I am but a miserable sinner； but our father
Anthony used to say； 'In whatsoever place thou art； hasten not to
leave it to go elsewhere。' 〃
〃Brother Palemon； do you disapprove of my project？〃
〃Dear Paphnutius； God forbid that I should suspect my brother of bad
intentions。 But our father Anthony also said； 'Fishes die on dry land；
and so is it with those monks who leave their cells and mingle with
the men of this world； amongst whom no good thing is to be found。' 〃
Having thus spoken； the old man pressed his foot on the spade； and
began to dig energetically round a fig tree laden with fruit。 As he
was thus engaged； there was a rustling in the bushes； and an antelope
leaped over the hedge which surrounded the garden； it stopped；
surprised and frightened； its delicate legs trembling； then ran up to
the old man； and laid its pretty head on the breast of its friend。
〃God be praised in the gazelle of the desert；〃 said Palemon。
He went to his hut； the light…footed little animal trotting after him；
and brought out some black bread； which the antelope ate out of his
hand。
Paphnutius remained thoughtful for some time； his eyes fixed upon the
stones at his feet。 Then he slowly walked back to his cell； pondering
on what he had heard。 A great struggle was going on in his mind。
〃The hermit gives good advice；〃 he said to himself； 〃the spirit of
prudence is in him。 And he doubts the wisdom of my intention。 Yet it
would be cruel to leave Thais any longer in the power of the demon who
possesses her。 May God advise and conduct me。〃
As he was walking along； he saw a plover； caught in the net that a
hunter had laid on the sand； and he knew that it was a hen bird； for
he saw the male fly to the net； and tear the meshes one by one with
its beak； until it had made an opening by which its mate could escape。
The holy man watched this incident； and as； by virtue of his holiness；
he ea