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〃Yes； it's all dead； but some of it is a whole lot deader than you imagine。 I've been investigating the packing business； and I'll tell you all about corned beef and wienies。〃 He then went on with a lot of sickening details and when he got through he found that the younger men had not eaten any dinner。 The older men paid no attention to him and worked right ahead to the pie and toothpick stage； but the younger fellows had been euchred out of dinner and went back to work with wabbly steps and empty stomachs。
This convinced me that the investigator was a false alarm。 If corned beef was poison； as he said； there wouldn't be a working man alive in America。 But millions have eaten corned beef all their lives and have thrived on it。 Things are never one tenth so bad as the agitators say。 They merely take the heart out of men and send them back to work weakened and unhappy。
This fellow had a favorite joke which he sprang every meal。 After sniffing at the soup and meat and cabbage he would exclaim： 〃Hebrews； 13…8。〃 We thought it was some jibe about the fat pork； and after he had sprung it every day for a week we learned that he was hitting at the monotony of the diet。 The verse in the Bible reads：
〃Jesus Christ the same yesterday； and to…day； and forever。〃
The fellow came into the mills and sympathized with us because we worked with our shirts off。 To withstand the heat we stripped to the waist。 We didn't want to wear a shirt。 It would have clung to our flesh and hampered our moving muscles。 We were freer and cooler without any cloth to smother us。 It was a privilege to go shirtless。 Adam enjoyed that blessing in the Garden of Eden。 And when he sinned they punished him by putting a shirt； collar and necktie on him。 And yet this theorist in the mills demanded working conditions that would let us wear shirts。 Why？ Who was asking for shirts？ Only he； and he had a shirt。 In their own words； the fellows would have enjoyed making him eat it。
CHAPTER XXXV
AN UPLIFTER RULED BY ENVY
The uplifter saw the men between heats drinking beer out of tin pails。
〃Why do those big fine fellows drink beer；〃 he asked me； 〃when they have plenty of water？〃
I asked him： 〃Why don't you drink beer？〃
〃It makes me bilious；〃 he replied。 〃If I drink one glass of beer every day for a week it upsets me and I get weak and dizzy。〃
〃Do you think that one drink of beer a day will upset those fellows and make them dizzy？〃
〃Evidently not。〃
〃Then when you oppose beer you are doing it to keep yourself from getting sick； aren't you？ Do you really care a darn whether those fellows get sick at the stomach or not？〃
〃Certainly； I〃
〃You don't want them to get sick at the stomach ？〃
〃Then； why did you give that lecture on corned beef and make those strong fellows all sick at the stomach while you enjoyed your own dinner？〃
〃I didn't know it would disturb them so。 Besides I wanted to keep them from getting sick later。〃
〃Well； they prefer to have their health now； and wait for their sickness until later on。 You are doing no man a favor by making him sick when he is feeling well。 If God is willing for them to be well； and they want to be well； and the only thing that keeps them from being well is you； aren't you afraid that they will pile on to you and knock the daylights out of you？〃
〃I am really working for their good。〃
〃Then you want their stomachs to have what agrees with them？〃
〃Certainly。〃
〃Well； I'll tell you something； then。 Water doesn't always agree with the stomach as well as beer does。 You never worked at terrific muscular exertion handling white…hot iron in a mill like this。 You haven't got the muscles to do it； and I doubt if you've got the heart。 You can not know the condition a man is in when he hits his hardest lick here。 But they know； and I know。 Some of the men feel they can't drink water at that time。 My pal tells me that his stomach rejects it； his throat seems to collapse as he gulps it。 But beer he can drink and it eases him。 The alcohol in beer is a blessing at that time。 It soothes his laboring stomach until the water can get into his system and quench the man's thirst。 Iron workers in the Old World have used malt beverages for generations。 Why take away the other man's pleasure if it doesn't injure you？ If it was deadly we would have been weakened in the course of generations。 But look at the worker's body。 It is four times as strong as yours。〃 I saw an envious look in his eye。
〃Of course I inherited my muscular build；〃 I apologized； 〃and so I try to make the most of it in boasting to you fellows who haven't any muscle。 But really I envy you。 You have education and brain power。 That's what I lack and that's what I want above all other things。 I try to study at night and educate myself。 But I haven't got any chance against you fellows who are born intellectual and have college training on top of it。 So if I have talked sharp to you； my cussedness is really due to envy。 I really want to be in your shoes； and I haven't got the brains for the job。〃
This worked。
〃There is nothing about me for a fellow like you to envy；〃 he said condescendingly。 〃I'm no better off than you are。 In fact； I envy you fellows。 You are never sick； you can eat and digest anything。 I really envy you。 You are built like a young Hercules and are never ashamed when you strip。 When I put on a bathing suit I am embarrassed until I get out of sight in the water； because I'm all skin and bones。 My arms and legs are the size of broomsticks。〃
〃Oh； well；〃 I said； 〃you're just as well off without the Hercules shape。 You are always healthy。〃
〃Healthy？ What I call health； you fellows would regard as the last stages of decrepitude。 A little beer and tobacco knocks me over。 If I drank coffee and ate pie the way you do； I'd have to take morphine to get a night's sleep。 You fellows need never envy us intellectuals。 You can drink and smoke and eat anything； and all the poisons you take in are sweated out of your pores in this terrific labor； so that every night you come out as clean and lusty as a new…born child。 I'd swap all my education in a minute for the mighty body and the healthy and lusty living that you enjoy。 If you knew how much I envy you； you would never think of envying me。〃
He had blurted out the truth。 It wasn't love of comrades that gave a motive to his life。 It was envy that turned him inside out。 Envy was the whole story； and he admitted it。
CHAPTER XXXVI
GROWLING FOR THE BOSSES' BLOOD
I thought I made a number of enemies among the men while I was head of the mill committee。 When a man dissipated and afterward came back to work； trembling and weak； the boss would refuse to let him take up his tools； but would lay the man off for a few days。 The man usually thought this a useless and cruel punishment； and to lose a few days' wages would make him all the poorer。
The man thus laid off would come to me and ask that I get him reinstated。
〃Tell 'em you'll call a strike；〃 the man would say。 〃Tell 'em that if they don't let me work； nobody will work。〃
I always refused to take such complaints to the office。 I never approached the boss with a demand that I did not think was right。 Some of the men thought we ought to be vindictive and take every opportunity to put a crimp in the business for the owners。 I envied the owners （we've all got a touch of that in our system）； because they were rich and were making profits。 I knew what their profits averaged。 By calling fussy little strikes often enough I could have kept the profits close to the zero mark。 Thus the men would be making wages out of the business and the owners would be making nothing。 But I declined to let my actions be governed by envy。 The Ten Commandments forbid covetousness。 The Golden Rule also forbade my practicing sabotage。 And I have never tried to find a better guide than the Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule。 The test of my misconduct would have come when； having cleverly destroyed their profits； I found them quitting in discouragement； closing up the business and throwing us all out of our jobs for keeps。
I tried to point out these things to the men。 Some of them felt as I did about it。 Others couldn't see it。 So I learned darn early in life that you can't reform 'em all。
I used to say to the complaining man：
〃Look here； Bill； you're in no shape to work。 Go home and lie down for a couple of days。 You wouldn't last here two hours in your present shaky condition。 You'd pinch the rolls with your tongs and probably get your neck broke。 That's why they won't let you work。 You can't work。 So back to your bed； Bill； we will not call them out to…day。〃
Bill usually went away cursing me as the friend of the 〃plutes〃 and the enemy of labor。 〃I'll get you yet；〃 he'd say； 〃you black… headed buzzard。〃
And so while I was making enemies among many of the men who thought I wasn't standing up for their rights； I was making myself even more unpopular with the owners by sticking up too firmly for the rights of the men。 They told me they believed I knew as much about the tin plate business as any man in the trade。 This knowledge would enable me to do better in the distributing end of the business； while as a worker I could only mak