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she-第31章

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I looked into the water; and there; mirrored upon its 
placid surface; was the silhouette of Ustane's stately 
face。 She was bending forward; with a look of infinite 
tenderness upon her features; watching something 
beneath her; and with her chestnut locks falling on to 
her right shoulder。

〃It is she;〃 I said; in a low voice; for once more I 
felt much disturbed at this most uncommon sight。 〃She 
watches Leo asleep。〃

〃Leo!〃 said Ayesha; in an absent voice; 〃why; that is 
'lion'。 in the Latin tongue。 The old man hath named 
happily for once。 It is very strange;〃 she went on; 
speaking to herself; 〃very。 So likebut it is not 
possible!〃 With an impatient gesture she passed her 
hand over the water once more。 It darkened; and the 
image vanished silently and mysteriously as it had 
risen; and once more the lamplight; and the lamplight 
only; shone on the placid surface of that limpid; 
living mirror。

〃Hast thou aught to ask me before thou goest; O 
Holly?〃 she said; after a few moments' reflection。 〃It 
is but a rude life that thou must live here; for these 
people are savages; and know not the ways of 
cultivated man。 Not that I am troubled thereby; for; 
behold my food;〃 and she pointed to the fruit upon the 
little table。 〃Naught but fruit doth ever pass my 
lipsfruit and cakes of flour; and a little water。 I 
have bidden my girls to wait upon thee。 They are 
mutes; thou knowest; deaf are they and dumb; and 
therefore the safest of servants; save to those who 
can read their faces and their signs。 I bred them so
it hath taken many centuries and much trouble; but 
last I have triumphed。 Once I succeeded before; but 
the race was too ugly; so I let it die away; but now; 
as thou seest; they are otherwise。 Once; too; I reared 
a race of giants; but after a while Nature would no 
more of it; and it died away。 Hast thou aught to ask 
of me?〃 

〃Ay; one thing; O Ayesha;〃 I said; boldly; but feeling 
by no means as bold as I trust I looked。 〃I would gaze 
upon thy face。〃

She laughed out in her bell…like notes。 〃Bethink thee; 
Holly;〃 she answered; 〃bethink thee。 It seems that 
thou knowest the old myths of the gods of Greece。 Was 
there not one Actaeon who perished miserably because 
he looked on too much beauty? If I show thee my face; 
perchance thou wouldst perish miserably also; 
perchance thou wouldst eat out thy heart in impotent 
desire; for know I am not for theeI am for no man; 
save one; who hath been; but is not yet。〃

〃As thou wilt; Ayesha;〃 I said。 〃I fear not thy 
beauty。 I have put my heart away from such vanity as 
woman's loveliness; that passes like a flower。〃

〃Nay; thou errest;〃 she said; 〃that does not pass。 My 
beauty endures even as I endure; still if thou wilt; O 
rash man; have thy will; but blame not me if passion 
mount thy reason; as the Egyptian breakers used to 
mount a colt; and guide it whither thou wilt not。 
Never may the man to whom my beauty hath been unveiled 
put it from his mind; and therefore even with these 
savages do I go veiled; lest they vex me; and I should 
slay them。 Say; wilt thou see?〃

〃I will;〃 I answered; my curiosity overpowering me。

She lifted her white and rounded armsnever had I 
seen such arms before…and slowly; very slowly; 
withdrew some fastening beneath her hair。 Then all of 
a sudden the long; corpse…like wrappings fell from her 
to the ground; and my eyes travelled up her form; now 
only robed in a garb of clinging white that did but 
serve to show its perfect and imperial shape; instinct 
with a life that was more than life; and with a 
certain serpent…like grace that was more than human。 
On her little feet were sandals; fastened with studs 
of gold。 Then came ankles more perfect than ever 
sculptor dreamed of。 About the waist her white kirtle 
was fastened by a double…headed snake of solid gold; 
above which her gracious form swelled up in lines as 
pure as they were lovely; till the kirtle ended on the 
snowy argent of her breast; whereon her arms were 
folded。 I gazed above them at her face; andI do not 
exaggerate shrank back blinded and amazed。 I have 
heard of the beauty of celestial beings; now I saw it; 
only this beauty; with all its awful loveliness and 
purity; was evilat least; at the time; it struck me 
as evil。 How am I to describe it? I cannotsimply; I 
cannot! The man does not live whose pen could convey a 
sense of what I saw。 I might talk of the great 
changing eyes of deepest; softest black; of the tinted 
face; of the broad and noble brow; on which the hair 
grew low; and delicate; straight features。 But; 
beautiful; surpassingly beautiful as they all were; 
her loveliness did not lie in them。 It lay rather; if 
it can be said to have had any fixed abiding…place; in 
a visible majesty; in an imperial grace; in a godlike 
stamp of softened power; which shone upon that radiant 
countenance like a living halo。 Never before had I 
guessed what beauty made sublime could be; and yet the 
sublimity was a dark one; the glory was not all of 
heaven; though none the less was it glorious。 Though 
the face before me was that of a young woman of 
certainly not more than thirty years; in perfect 
health; and the first flush of ripened beauty; yet it 
had stamped upon it a look of unutterable experience; 
and of deep acquaintance with grief and passion。 Not 
even the lovely smile that crept about the dimples of 
her mouth could hide this shadow of sin and sorrow。 It 
shone even in the light of the glorious eyes; it was 
present in the air of majesty; and it seemed to say: 
〃Behold me; lovely as no woman was or is; undying and 
half divine; memory haunts me from age to age; and 
passion leads me by the hand; evil have I done; and 
with sorrow have I made acquaintance from age to age; 
and from age to age evil I shall do; and sorrow shall 
I know till my redemption comes。〃

Drawn by some magnetic force which I could not resist; 
I let my eyes rest upon her shining orbs; and felt a 
current pass from them to me that bewildered and half 
blinded me。

She laughedah; how musically! and nodded her little 
head at me with an air of sublimated coquetry that 
would have done credit to a Venus Victrix。

〃Rash man!〃 she said; 〃like Actaeon; thou hast had thy 
will; be careful lest; like Actaeon; thou too dost 
perish miserably; torn to pieces by the ban…hounds of 
thine own passions。 I too; O Holly; am a virgin 
goddess; not to be moved of any man; save one; and it 
is not thou。 Say; hast thou seen enough?〃

〃I have looked on beauty; and I am blinded;〃 I said; 
hoarsely; lifting my hand to cover up my eyes。

〃So! what did I tell thee? Beauty is like the 
lightning; it is lovely; but it destroysspecially 
trees; O Holly!〃 And again she nodded and laughed。

Suddenly she paused; and through my fingers I saw an 
awful change come over her countenance。 Her great eyes 
suddenly fixed themselves into an expression in which 
horror seemed to struggle with some tremendous hope 
arising through the depths of her dark soul。 The 
lovely face grew rigid; and the gracious; willowy form 
seemed to erect itself。

〃Man;〃 she half whispered; half hissed; throwing back 
her head like a snake about to strike〃man; where 
didst thou get that scarab on thy hand? Speak; or by 
the Spirit of Life I will blast thee where thou 
standest!〃 and she took one light step towards me; and 
from her eyes there shone such an awful lightto me 
it seemed almost like a flamethat I fell; then and 
there; on the ground before her; babbling confusedly 
in my terror。

〃Peace;〃 she said; with a sudden change of manner; and 
speaking in her former soft voice; 〃I did affright 
thee! Forgive me! But at times; O Holly; the almost 
infinite mind grows impatient of the slowness of the 
very finite; and I am tempted to use my power out of 
pure vexationvery nearly wast thou dead; but I 
rememberedBut the scarababout the scarabaeus!〃

〃I picked it up;〃 I gurgled feebly; as I got on to my 
feet again; and it is a solemn fact that my mind was 
so disturbed that at the moment I could remember 
nothing else about the ring except that I had picked 
it up in Leo's cave。

〃It is very strange;〃 she said; with a sudden access 
of woman…like trembling and agitation which seemed out 
of place in this awful woman〃but once I knew a 
scarab like that。 Ithung round the neckof one I 
loved;〃 and she gave a little sob; and I saw that 
after all she was only a woman; although she might be 
a very old one。 〃There;〃 she went on; 〃it must be one 
like it; and yet never did I see one like it; for 
thereto hung a history; and he who wrote it prized it 
much。 But the scarab that I knew was not set thus in 
the bezel of a ring。 Go now; Holly; go; and; if thou 
canst; try to forget that thou hast looked upon 
Ayesha's beauty;〃 and; turning from me; she flung 
herself on her couch; and buried her face in the 
cushions。

As for me; I stumbled from her presence; and I do not 
remember how I reached my own cave。

CHAPTER XIV

A SOUL IN HELL

It was nearly ten o'clock at night when I cast myself 
down upon my bed; and began to gather my scattered 
wits; and re
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