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in the face and accept it。 I knew where I had failed; but it was
exactly where I couldn't have succeeded。 I had been sent down to
be personal and then in point of fact hadn't been personal at all:
what I had dispatched to London was just a little finicking
feverish study of my author's talent。 Anything less relevant to
Mr。 Pinhorn's purpose couldn't well be imagined; and he was visibly
angry at my having (at his expense; with a second…class ticket)
approached the subject of our enterprise only to stand off so
helplessly。 For myself; I knew but too well what had happened; and
how a miracle … as pretty as some old miracle of legend … had been
wrought on the spot to save me。 There had been a big brush of
wings; the flash of an opaline robe; and then; with a great cool
stir of the air; the sense of an angel's having swooped down and
caught me to his bosom。 He held me only till the danger was over;
and it all took place in a minute。 With my manuscript back on my
hands I understood the phenomenon better; and the reflexions I made
on it are what I meant; at the beginning of this anecdote; by my
change of heart。 Mr。 Pinhorn's note was not only a rebuke
decidedly stern; but an invitation immediately to send him … it was
the case to say so … the genuine article; the revealing and
reverberating sketch to the promise of which; and of which alone; I
owed my squandered privilege。 A week or two later I recast my
peccant paper and; giving it a particular application to Mr。
Paraday's new book; obtained for it the hospitality of another
journal; where; I must admit; Mr。 Pinhorn was so far vindicated as
that it attracted not the least attention。
CHAPTER III。
I WAS frankly; at the end of three days; a very prejudiced critic;
so that one morning when; in the garden; my great man had offered
to read me something I quite held my breath as I listened。 It was
the written scheme of another book … something put aside long ago;
before his illness; but that he had lately taken out again to
reconsider。 He had been turning it round when I came down on him;
and it had grown magnificently under this second hand。 Loose
liberal confident; it might have passed for a great gossiping
eloquent letter … the overflow into talk of an artist's amorous
plan。 The theme I thought singularly rich; quite the strongest he
had yet treated; and this familiar statement of it; full too of
fine maturities; was really; in summarised splendour; a mine of
gold; a precious independent work。 I remember rather profanely
wondering whether the ultimate production could possibly keep at
the pitch。 His reading of the fond epistle; at any rate; made me
feel as if I were; for the advantage of posterity; in close
correspondence with him … were the distinguished person to whom it
had been affectionately addressed。 It was a high distinction
simply to be told such things。 The idea he now communicated had
all the freshness; the flushed fairness; of the conception
untouched and untried: it was Venus rising from the sea and before
the airs had blown upon her。 I had never been so throbbingly
present at such an unveiling。 But when he had tossed the last
bright word after the others; as I had seen cashiers in banks;
weighing mounds of coin; drop a final sovereign into the tray; I
knew a sudden prudent alarm。
〃My dear master; how; after all; are you going to do it? It's
infinitely noble; but what time it will take; what patience and
independence; what assured; what perfect conditions! Oh for a lone
isle in a tepid sea!〃
〃Isn't this practically a lone isle; and aren't you; as an
encircling medium; tepid enough?〃 he asked; alluding with a laugh
to the wonder of my young admiration and the narrow limits of his
little provincial home。 〃Time isn't what I've lacked hitherto:
the question hasn't been to find it; but to use it。 Of course my
illness made; while it lasted; a great hole … but I dare say there
would have been a hole at any rate。 The earth we tread has more
pockets than a billiard…table。 The great thing is now to keep on
my feet。〃
〃That's exactly what I mean。〃
Neil Paraday looked at me with eyes … such pleasant eyes as he had
… in which; as I now recall their expression; I seem to have seen a
dim imagination of his fate。 He was fifty years old; and his
illness had been cruel; his convalescence slow。 〃It isn't as if I
weren't all right。〃
〃Oh if you weren't all right I wouldn't look at you!〃 I tenderly
said。
We had both got up; quickened as by this clearer air; and he had
lighted a cigarette。 I had taken a fresh one; which with an
intenser smile; by way of answer to my exclamation; he applied to
the flame of his match。 〃If I weren't better I shouldn't have
thought of THAT!〃 He flourished his script in his hand。
〃I don't want to be discouraging; but that's not true;〃 I returned。
〃I'm sure that during the months you lay here in pain you had
visitations sublime。 You thought of a thousand things。 You think
of more and more all the while。 That's what makes you; if you'll
pardon my familiarity; so respectable。 At a time when so many
people are spent you come into your second wind。 But; thank God;
all the same; you're better! Thank God; too; you're not; as you
were telling me yesterday; 'successful。' If YOU weren't a failure
what would be the use of trying? That's my one reserve on the
subject of your recovery … that it makes you 'score;' as the
newspapers say。 It looks well in the newspapers; and almost
anything that does that's horrible。 'We are happy to announce that
Mr。 Paraday; the celebrated author; is again in the enjoyment of
excellent health。' Somehow I shouldn't like to see it。〃
〃You won't see it; I'm not in the least celebrated … my obscurity
protects me。 But couldn't you bear even to see I was dying or
dead?〃 my host enquired。
〃Dead … passe encore; there's nothing so safe。 One never knows
what a living artist may do … one has mourned so many。 However;
one must make the worst of it。 You must be as dead as you can。〃
〃Don't I meet that condition in having just published a book?〃
〃Adequately; let us hope; for the book's verily a masterpiece。〃
At this moment the parlour…maid appeared in the door that opened
from the garden: Paraday lived at no great cost; and the frisk of
petticoats; with a timorous 〃Sherry; sir?〃 was about his modest
mahogany。 He allowed half his income to his wife; from whom he had
succeeded in separating without redundancy of legend。 I had a
general faith in his having behaved well; and I had once; in
London; taken Mrs。 Paraday down to dinner。 He now turned to speak
to the maid; who offered him; on a tray; some card or note; while;
agitated; excited; I wandered to the end of the precinct。 The idea
of his security became supremely dear to me; and I asked myself if
I were the same young man who had come down a few days before to
scatter him to the four winds。 When I retraced my steps he had
gone into the house; and the woman … the second London post had
come in … had placed my letters and a newspaper on a bench。 I sat
down there to the letters; which were a brief business; and then;
without heeding the address; took the paper from its envelope。 It
was the journal of highest renown; THE EMPIRE of that morning。 It
regularly came to Paraday; but I remembered that neither of us had
yet looked at the copy already delivered。 This one had a great
mark on the 〃editorial〃 page; and; uncrumpling the wrapper; I saw
it to be directed to my host and stamped with the name of his
publishers。 I instantly divined that THE EMPIRE had spoken of him;
and I've not forgotten the odd little shock of the circumstance。
It checked all eagerness and made me drop the paper a moment。 As I
sat there conscious of a palpitation I think I had a vision of what
was to be。 I had also a vision of the letter I would presently
address to Mr。 Pinhorn; breaking; as it were; with Mr。 Pinhorn。 Of
course; however; the next minute the voice of THE EMPIRE was in my
ears。
The article wasn't; I thanked heaven; a review; it was a 〃leader;〃
the last of three; presenting Neil Paraday to the human race。 His
new book; the fifth from his hand; had been but a day or two out;
and THE EMPIRE; already aware of it; fired; as if on the birth of a
prince; a salute of a whole column。 The guns had been booming
these three hours in the house without our suspecting them。 The
big blundering newspaper had discovered him; and now he was
proclaimed and anointed and crowned。 His place was assigned him as
publicly as if a fat usher with a wand had pointed to the topmost
chair; he was to pass up and still up; higher and higher; between
the watching faces and the envious sounds … away up to the dais and
the throne。 The article was 〃epoch…making;〃 a landmark in his
life; he had taken rank at a bound; waked up a national glory。 A
national glory was needed; and it was an immense convenience he was
there。 What all this meant rolled over me; and I fear I grew a
little faint … it meant so much m