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well with me； as I happen to know； in my views on this business of
realism； thanked me for giving them the benefit of my opinion。
The silence that followed was broken by Number Seven's suddenly
exclaiming；
〃I should like to boss creation for a week！〃
This expression was an outbreak suggested by some train of thought
which Number Seven had been following while I was discoursing。 I do
not think one of the company looked as if he or she were shocked by
it as an irreligious or even profane speech。 It is a better way
always； in dealing with one of those squinting brains； to let it
follow out its own thought。 It will keep to it for a while； then it
will quit the rail； so to speak； and run to any side…track which may
present itself。
〃What is the first thing you would do？〃 asked Number Five in a
pleasant； easy way。
〃The first thing？ Pick out a few thousand of the best specimens of
the best races； and drown the rest like so many blind puppies。〃
〃Why；〃 said she； 〃that was tried once； and does not seem to have
worked very well。〃
〃Very likely。 You mean Noah's flood； I suppose。 More people
nowadays； and a better lot to pick from than Noah had。〃
〃Do tell us whom you would take with you；〃 said Number Five。
〃You； if you would go；〃 he answered； and I thought I saw a slight
flush on his cheek。 〃But I didn't say that I should go aboard the
new ark myself。 I am not sure that I should。 No； I am pretty sure
that I shouldn't。 I don't believe； on the whole； it would pay me to
save myself。 I ain't of much account。 But I could pick out some
that were。〃
And just now he was saying that he should like to boss the universe！
All this has nothing very wonderful about it。 Every one of us is
subject to alternations of overvaluation and undervaluation of
ourselves。 Do you not remember soliloquies something like this？
〃Was there ever such a senseless； stupid creature as I am？ How have
I managed to keep so long out of the idiot asylum？ Undertook to
write a poem； and stuck fast at the first verse。 Had a call from a
friend who had just been round the world。 Did n't ask him one word
about what he had seen or heard； but gave him full details of my
private history； I having never been off my own hearth…rug for more
than an hour or two at a time； while he was circumnavigating and
circumrailroading the globe。 Yes； if anybody can claim the title； I
am certainly the prize idiot。〃 I am afraid that we all say such
things as this to ourselves at times。 Do we not use more emphatic
words than these in our self…depreciation？ I cannot say how it is
with others； but my vocabulary of self…reproach and humiliation is so
rich in energetic expressions that I should be sorry to have an
interviewer present at an outburst of one of its raging geysers； its
savage soliloquies。 A man is a kind of inverted thermometer； the
bulb uppermost； and the column of self…valuation is all the time
going up and down。 Number Seven is very much like other people in
this respect；very much like you and me。
This train of reflections must not carry me away from Number Seven。
〃If I can't get a chance to boss this planet for a week or so；〃 he
began again； 〃I think 1 could write its history；yes； the history of
the world； in less compass than any one who has tried it so far。〃
〃You know Sir Walter Raleigh's 'History of the World；' of course？〃
said the Professor。
〃More or less；more or less；〃 said Number Seven prudently。 〃But I
don't care who has written it before me。 I will agree to write the
story of two worlds； this and the next； in such a compact way that
you can commit them both ；to memory in less time than you can learn
the answer to the first question in the Catechism。〃
What he had got into his head we could not guess； but there was no
little curiosity to discover the particular bee which was buzzing in
his bonnet。 He evidently enjoyed our curiosity； and meant to keep us
waiting awhile before revealing the great secret。
〃How many words do you think I shall want？〃
It is a formula； I suppose； I said； and I will grant you a hundred
words。
〃Twenty；〃 said the Professor。 〃That was more than the wise men of
Greece wanted for their grand utterances。〃
The two Annexes whispered together； and the American Annex gave their
joint result。 One thousand was the number they had fixed on。 They
were used to hearing lectures； and could hardly conceive that any
subject could be treated without taking up a good part of an hour。
〃Less than ten；〃 said Number Five。 〃If there are to be more than
ten； I don't believe that Number Seven would think the surprise would
be up to our expectations。〃
〃Guess as much as you like；〃 said Number Seven。
〃The answer will keep。 I don't mean to say what it is until we are
ready to leave the table。〃 He took a blank card from his pocket…book；
wrote something on it； or appeared； at any rate； to write； and handed
it； face down； to the Mistress。 What was on the card will be found
near the end of this paper。 I wonder if anybody will be curious
enough to look further along to find out what it was before she reads
the next paragraph？
In the mean time there is a train of thought suggested by Number
Seven and his whims。 If you want to know how to account for
yourself； study the characters of your relations。 All of our brains
squint more or less。 There is not one in a hundred； certainly； that
does not sometimes see things distorted by double refraction； out of
plumb or out of focus； or with colors which do not belong to it； or
in some way betraying that the two halves of the brain are not acting
in harmony with each other。 You wonder at the eccentricities of this
or that connection of your own。 Watch yourself； and you will find
impulses which； but for the restraints you put upon them； would make
you do the same foolish things which you laugh at in that cousin of
yours。 I once lived in the same house with the near relative of a
very distinguished person； whose name is still honored and revered
among us。 His brain was an active one； like that of his famous
relative； but it was full of random ideas； unconnected trains of
thought； whims； crotchets； erratic suggestions。 Knowing him； I could
interpret the mental characteristics of the whole family connection
in the light of its exaggerated peculiarities as exhibited in my odd
fellow…boarder。 Squinting brains are a great deal more common than
we should at first sight believe。 Here is a great book； a solid
octavo of five hundred pages； full of the vagaries of this class of
organizations。 I hope to refer to this work hereafter； but just now
I will only say that； after reading till one is tired the strange
fancies of the squarers of the circle； the inventors of perpetual
motion； and the rest of the moonstruck dreamers； most persons will
confess to themselves that they have had notions as wild； conceptions
as extravagant； theories as baseless； as the least rational of those
which are here recorded。
Some day I want to talk about my library。 It is such a curious
collection of old and new books； such a mosaic of learning and
fancies and follies； that a glance over it would interest the
company。 Perhaps I may hereafter give you a talk abut books； but
while I am saying a few passing words upon the subject the greatest
bibliographical event that ever happened in the book…market of the
New World is taking place under our eyes。 Here is Mr。 Bernard
Quaritch just come from his well…known habitat； No。 15 Piccadilly；
with such a collection of rare； beautiful； and somewhat expensive
volumes as the Western Continent never saw before on the shelves of a
bibliopole。
We bookworms are all of us now and then betrayed into an
extravagance。 The keen tradesmen who tempt us are like the fishermen
who dangle a minnow； a frog； or a worm before the perch or pickerel
who may be on the lookout for his breakfast。 But Mr。 Quaritch comes
among us like that formidable angler of whom it is said；
His hook he baited with a dragon's tail；
And sat upon a rock and bobbed for whale。
The two catalogues which herald his coming are themselves interesting
literary documents。 One can go out with a few shillings in his
pocket； and venture among the books of the first of these catalogues
without being ashamed to show himself with no larger furnishing of
the means for indulging his tastes；he will find books enough at
comparatively modest prices。 But if one feels very rich； so rich that
it requires a good deal to frighten him； let him take the other
catalogue and see how many books he proposes to add to his library at
the prices affixed。 Here is a Latin Psalter with the Canticles； from
the press of Fust and Schoeffer； the second book issued from their
press； the second book printed with a date； that date being 1459。
There are only eight copies of